Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start calling your dh "the busboy".

"O.k. busboy, time to clear the table!"

NP here. I dont know why people are offended. Is it an American thing to be offended when you're actually in the wrong?

I was about to ask if it's an American thing to expect your guests to clear the table. Because I can't imagine expecting that, and I was thinking perhaps it's because my parents are immigrants. I can't imagine getting upset over a napkin left on the table. Good hosts take care of their guests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain if you don't want to host and all that it entails, including clean up. It's abnormal to expect your guests to bus the table at your dinner party. If it's a very informal gathering with paper plates, I would definitely throw my own away. But it should be more important to you as a host that your guests are having a good time.

Not a dinner party. This is a normal lunch. They are houseguests.

Why can't you just ask them? "Hey, would you guys mind taking your plates to the sink? It really helps save time cleaning up" or whatever. This doesn't deserve a thread.

?

Xanax stat

Anonymous wrote:So if they don’t clean up the plates stay on the table.

If it gets to be dinner time and they haven’t cleared their stuff. Then you ask your DH to do it. YOU do not pick up after them if you don’t want to.

Update: I knocked on said person's room to come and get rid of his dirty napkin. He apologized for forgetting it, came back up to the kitchen and disposed of it in the trash. I guess he'll remember next time.

So if they don’t clean up the plates stay on the table.

If it gets to be dinner time and they haven’t cleared their stuff. Then you ask your DH to do it. YOU do not pick up after them if you don’t want to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound awful. You do not have a guest or DH problem.

LOL. You sound like a doormat.

How so? Your retort doesn’t make any sense.

I know how to host. You should have learned in your “travels”.

I know how to host people who can clean up after themselves and not be mummied. You sound like a people pleaser ("Oh, leave your sh** on the table. I''ll take care of it" with a beaming smile).

Don’t parent your guests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound awful. You do not have a guest or DH problem.

LOL. You sound like a doormat.

How so? Your retort doesn’t make any sense.

I know how to host. You should have learned in your “travels”.

Anonymous wrote:So bring the garbage can out and put it where they can see it or walk around and the table and ask them to deposit their trash in there. They might not know where it goes or you might be blocking it while doing other kitchen chores for example.

We have a trash bin, recycling and composting bins and I realized that guests from out of the area (SF) don't know what bin to use for which kind of trash. So I've taken to saying "When you're finished, your napkin goes in the compost bin on the counter" or "If that's empty you can put it in the recycling bin against the wall."

Anonymous wrote:Start calling your dh "the busboy".

"O.k. busboy, time to clear the table!"

NP here. I dont know why people are offended. Is it an American thing to be offended when you're actually in the wrong?

DP here. I entertain frequently and both large and small groups of people. Sometimes the table is set for a smaller group and sometimes food is served buffet style. In both of the scenarios, my guests will bring their plates, silverwear and napkins near the sink or in a designated area. My DH hates paper plates so we use real china, real silverwear and real napkins every time.

Anonymous wrote:You sound awful. You do not have a guest or DH problem.

LOL. You sound like a doormat.

Start calling your dh "the busboy".

"O.k. busboy, time to clear the table!"

You sound awful. You do not have a guest or DH problem.