Anonymous wrote:Geez, the OP never said anything anti-family, anti-special needs, etc etc. Also, this is the Religion forum. Also, annoying kids ARE distracting. How about all of us parents just teach our kids to be more respectful when in church?! It's not cute when your kids are running around and being loud—anywhere for that matter, but especially in church!

FWIW, it was in off topic first.

I don' think anyone is saying it's OK to run around, but kids are distracting, cry and make noise, and I believe many of us are saying that is OK and should be expected at a church.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are the future of the church. Be thankful parents are bring them, and that they are there.

+1. This is what weekly church was like for eons. Whole families, running around, chatter ... People who wanted quiet contemplation entered religious life.

Actually, when while families went children were taught to be respectful. When I was young (in the 70s), going back to preschool, I was in the sanctuary for church. I knew that chattering was unacceptable and spent most of my time quietly drawing on paper, using a hymnal as a lap desk. Running in the sanctuary would have been unthinkable.

I think if you look "eons" back, you"ll find that required behavior was even stricter. In the days when "children are supposed to be seen and not heard", I don't think church would have been exempted.

Geez, the OP never said anything anti-family, anti-special needs, etc etc. Also, this is the Religion forum. Also, annoying kids ARE distracting. How about all of us parents just teach our kids to be more respectful when in church?! It's not cute when your kids are running around and being loud—anywhere for that matter, but especially in church!

Our Church welcomes children too ( Episcopal) and I have been taking DD since she was a month old and she is now 6. There is a difference between a baby babbling or a 2yo trying to quietly play with quiet toys and children running up and down the pews and 6yo's wrestling in the communion line. Churches dont want to lose families but parents are taking advantage and not teaching their children to be respectful of others.

I'm not especially religious but I firmly believe that Churches are for families. Just imagine what an early Church would look like. Imagine when Jesus was speaking to the masses, and the miracle of the fish and loaves, don't you think there were children running around? I do. I dislike the term, but WWJD? He said let the children come to me.

Anonymous wrote:Children belong in the sanctuary, not in the cry room or elsewhere. Your church sounds wonderful, OP.

Not even a Christian and I agree 10,000%. Church is for families, not for adults to sit in silence. Go to confession or go sit in the sanctuary alone later if you need that

What blows my mind is the amount of crap kids need these days to get through an hour long service (I’m Catholic). When I was growing up (and I’m in my 20s, so not THAT old) I and most of the other kids I knew were MAYBE allowed to color on the kids bulletin or read a kids Bible, but for the most part we were expected to sit quietly and participate. Today I see parents showing up with enough games/toys/snacks for an overseas flight! The best was when a mom wheeled in a rolling backpack with multiple snacks and had one kid write his class valentines while the other rolled cars up and down the pew. I don’t mind if a child cries, talks to a parent, or gets restless, but kids are capable of sitting through a service without constant entertainment. It really is absurd. I agree with you 100% OP.

Go earlier. 11:30 mass at our church is fortunately quiet because most people in our church have manners.

If your child is making a ton of noise they're probably not getting a lot out of the service and should be taken outside or to the care room out of respect for the other attendees.

OP, try a different service time. I personally enjoy the earliest service at my church, which is primarily people over 60. It's definitely a different worship experience than the later services, which are attended by families.

OP here. Thanks for all the feedback!

I apologize for sounding cold-hearted or exclusive. I don't mean to imply that young families should be made to feel unwelcome. I believe that religion should bring people together, not divide.

I suppose I should look at it as good practice in focusing! It might help in meetings at work as well

Also, I am trying to be sensitive of the cultural differences. This is not the deep South, where I grew up in the 70s-80s. My family was old-fashioned, where children were seen and not heard. I don't think that is good either; I suppose I'm seeking an ideal middle ground.

Thanks again!

Anonymous wrote:Children belong in the sanctuary, not in the cry room or elsewhere. Your church sounds wonderful, OP.

Have you met a child before?

Do you really think a crying kid is screaming in the sanctuary because it’s fun for them? The kids rooms offer a quiet space for children to go with their parents for comfort. Yes, usually there are toys and a changing table too. I’ve never met a child who found it comforting to be in a loud crowded room filled with strangers.

Our church is explicitly kid-friendly, so not a great choice for OP, but I get the feeling that even our church is quieter at morning mass (8:00) than 10:00 mass where there is also Sunday School. Maybe try a different service?

But if the fundamental issue is that OP wants a church in which kids are segregated out, and where young families feel unwelcome, there may be greater philosophical differences than originally thought.

I agree OP, the kids need to go to a nursery or the waiting area or whatever. Where I used to put *my* kids back in the day. I don't hear well and I couldn't hear the sermon this week due to all the kid noise. And I'm young. I can't imagine what it's like for the elderly.

Maybe they need to have "kid friendly" mass and "quiet mass"?

Stop with all the special needs posts! OP did not identify these children as special needs, merely disruptive. God knows neurotypical children can be just as loud and annoying as those with special needs.

Go to the earliest service or mass they offer, or find another one with more options for times. No one with young kids will be at church at 6:30am, I promise.