Anonymous wrote:Do other parents (moms) not automatically give this talk. My mom never forbid me, but was very blunt about spiked drinks, ending up alone in with a guy or guys, ending up having (consensual) unprotected sex because you didn't plan ahead. The world is what it is and I still got into some situation, but everything she told helped me spot potentially bad situations. I'll do the same for my daughter in a few years.

I've had this convo with my daughters. I've also given the m the excuses to use when they don't want to do something and the ability to blame me to their friends for unpopular decisions.

Do other parents (moms) not automatically give this talk. My mom never forbid me, but was very blunt about spiked drinks, ending up alone in with a guy or guys, ending up having (consensual) unprotected sex because you didn't plan ahead. The world is what it is and I still got into some situation, but everything she told helped me spot potentially bad situations. I'll do the same for my daughter in a few years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you hear of parents who are home but "taking keys" don't let your kid go to the party.

Why?

It means taking the car keys so they don't drunk drive

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you hear of parents who are home but "taking keys" don't let your kid go to the party.

Why?

Because kids sneak out, walk home and get the other key or brings a second key.

Or they leave the house and die walking home.

And because it means they are serving alcohol and alcohol fueled parties have other dangers besides DUI. Kavanaugh isn’t accused of driving drunk.

Anonymous wrote:It was much more fun to be young back then. The young people looked healthier too. No adventure anymore. The kids are emotional infants in college.

Ah yes...it always happens-sometimes there are threads full of the "good old days" poster(s). Wed did x,y,z and we were fine. Yes, how sad. Gone are the days when one could rape a girl and have it just be good ol' boy fun and "what happens at....stays at..." Gone are the days when parents made it easy as pie for child predators to have access to their kids. Gone are the days when one could easily set fires in the neighborhood without being arrested

I heard there was a major study that found that people were so much better off, looked healthier and were emotionally stronger for being allowed to act like assholes and terrorize others in the name of fun!

You needed the Kavanaugh story to have this startling revelation?

It was much more fun to be young back then. The young people looked healthier too. No adventure anymore. The kids are emotional infants in college.

Anonymous wrote:I hate that my kids are exposed to that whole circus, but I think my daughter now better understands why I ask the details and parent supervision of parties she wants to go to!

Whatever you believe about Kavanaugh's guilt, the descriptions of drinking, partying, etc. don't sound all that different from what I hear about today at high school parties. Lots of drinking and some drugs. And either parental absence or else parents hiding up in their bedroom with all manner of chaos going on downstairs.

Um, teens partying is as old as the dinosaurs. It took the Kavanaugh media circus for you to realize this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you hear of parents who are home but "taking keys" don't let your kid go to the party.

Why?

Because kids sneak out, walk home and get the other key or brings a second key.

Or they leave the house and die walking home.

Anonymous wrote:A friend's father attempted to rape me at a sleep over when I was 12 years old. He was on top of me in the bed, kissing my belly and unzipping my jeans and talking about how good he would make me feel. (This was in the middle of the afternoon.)
I ran home and told my mom. She told me to keep quiet. I was outraged for years. Now I realize she was only trying to protect me from the attacks on women and girls who come forward.
He was a popular guy involved in local business and politics. I wonder how many girls he raped.

I am so sorry you went through this.

This is why kids are told to SCREAM and alert everyone within earshot as soon as someone touches them inappropriately. So there can be some chance of a witness.

A friend's father attempted to rape me at a sleep over when I was 12 years old. He was on top of me in the bed, kissing my belly and unzipping my jeans and talking about how good he would make me feel. (This was in the middle of the afternoon.)
I ran home and told my mom. She told me to keep quiet. I was outraged for years. Now I realize she was only trying to protect me from the attacks on women and girls who come forward.
He was a popular guy involved in local business and politics. I wonder how many girls he raped.

It doesn't always start out as a party scene.
This summer, my 14 year old spent a lot of time at friends houses. Sometimes parents were home, sometimes they weren't. These kids are high schoolers, they've been friends for ages, why wouldn't I let my daughter go watch movies or swim at a friend's house instead of spending a day at home?

And sometimes it's several kids. I can't tell you the number of times anywhere from a couple to a half a dozen kids were in my house this summer. I work from home sometimes, so I'm often around, but not always. They know the rules, they were always supervised when they were little. But again, they're high schoolers. And usually, it's kids baking cookies. Or watching movies. Or doing crafts. Or shooting baskets. Or swimming. And you get used to it.

And then kids start doing things they shouldn't. Hopefully parents are around enough to catch this, but it's really easy to miss since kids work to hide it. My daughter's spending the night at a friends house. There are going to be other kids there. I trust the host parents. But I also know they aren't going to be sitting on the kids laps, so things could happen. And I trust the kids. But kids do stupid things. Right now, it's a sleepover. If after the fact we learn there was drinking or whatever, it'll become a party, and I'll be a bad parent for letting my kid go to it. Instead of a reasonable parent, who knows these kids, trusts the parents and kids reasonably or not, who lets her teenager go to a sleepover.

We went to parks and playgrounds when parents were too observant when I was a teenager. Out to the power lines in the woods. You cannot perfectly protect your children.

Anonymous wrote:If you hear of parents who are home but "taking keys" don't let your kid go to the party.

Why?

If you hear of parents who are home but "taking keys" don't let your kid go to the party.

Totally agree. If your kids insist everyone does it they are wrong. I have at least three friends who were in the cool scene. All of them were victims of rape or near rape. Same for the Greek scene in college (same kids).