Anonymous
09/13/2018 20:02
Subject: What possesses a woman to go after every guy you are interested in?
She's competitive.
Let me help you out. Let's meet up. You pretend to come onto me and I'll leave with her to let you go after the guy you really want.
Let me help you out. Let's meet up. You pretend to come onto me and I'll leave with her to let you go after the guy you really want.
Anonymous
09/13/2018 19:38
Subject: What possesses a woman to go after every guy you are interested in?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm 52 and now long married, but I had to deal with this problem more than once in my single life until I figured the following out:
Your "friend" is not your friend, she is your frienemy. The reason is that she is competing with you, and true friends don't compete with each other, they support each other. This means for men, academics, career, when your car breaks down, you name it.
This is what I've told my kids so they will be able to both choose good friends, and be good friends to others.
To find a true friend, you have to wait a while. You have to wait until something *good* happens to you, or something *bad* happens to you.
When something good happens to you, who is cheering and shouting congratulations from the rooftops? Who is annoyed or jealous? And who has suddenly disappeared?
When something bad happens to you, who is helping you get through it? Who is quietly smirking (schadenfreude). And who has suddenly disappeared?
When you find the true friend, invest more time in them--and be their true friend back. And when you find our someone is really your frienemy, just distance yourself, put them back at acquaintance level. Don't waste your time with frienemies because life is too short. And don't tell them things--meaning, don't *trust* them, as they will exploit your trust. So, for example, don't tell them you like that guy.
Excellent post.
Signed, a man.
+1
I am sending it to my daughter.
Signed, 50+ years old mom.
Anonymous
09/13/2018 19:32
Subject: What possesses a woman to go after every guy you are interested in?
Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm 52 and now long married, but I had to deal with this problem more than once in my single life until I figured the following out:
Your "friend" is not your friend, she is your frienemy. The reason is that she is competing with you, and true friends don't compete with each other, they support each other. This means for men, academics, career, when your car breaks down, you name it.
This is what I've told my kids so they will be able to both choose good friends, and be good friends to others.
To find a true friend, you have to wait a while. You have to wait until something *good* happens to you, or something *bad* happens to you.
When something good happens to you, who is cheering and shouting congratulations from the rooftops? Who is annoyed or jealous? And who has suddenly disappeared?
When something bad happens to you, who is helping you get through it? Who is quietly smirking (schadenfreude). And who has suddenly disappeared?
When you find the true friend, invest more time in them--and be their true friend back. And when you find our someone is really your frienemy, just distance yourself, put them back at acquaintance level. Don't waste your time with frienemies because life is too short. And don't tell them things--meaning, don't *trust* them, as they will exploit your trust. So, for example, don't tell them you like that guy.
This is it. I’ve had more than one friend who went after other women’s guys. You are going to have to distance from her, OP. You will be glad you did.
Anonymous
09/13/2018 10:55
Subject: What possesses a woman to go after every guy you are interested in?
Anonymous wrote:None of us are married. I don’t flirt with married men. She only does this with guys I like.
Back in our 20s, I had a social circle where one woman would go after guys that another woman liked (woman #2 was always the same woman). No clue why.
Anonymous
09/13/2018 10:52
Subject: What possesses a woman to go after every guy you are interested in?
Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm 52 and now long married, but I had to deal with this problem more than once in my single life until I figured the following out:
Your "friend" is not your friend, she is your frienemy. The reason is that she is competing with you, and true friends don't compete with each other, they support each other. This means for men, academics, career, when your car breaks down, you name it.
This is what I've told my kids so they will be able to both choose good friends, and be good friends to others.
To find a true friend, you have to wait a while. You have to wait until something *good* happens to you, or something *bad* happens to you.
When something good happens to you, who is cheering and shouting congratulations from the rooftops? Who is annoyed or jealous? And who has suddenly disappeared?
When something bad happens to you, who is helping you get through it? Who is quietly smirking (schadenfreude). And who has suddenly disappeared?
When you find the true friend, invest more time in them--and be their true friend back. And when you find our someone is really your frienemy, just distance yourself, put them back at acquaintance level. Don't waste your time with frienemies because life is too short. And don't tell them things--meaning, don't *trust* them, as they will exploit your trust. So, for example, don't tell them you like that guy.
Excellent post.
Signed, a man.
Anonymous
09/13/2018 10:23
Subject: What possesses a woman to go after every guy you are interested in?
OP, I'm 52 and now long married, but I had to deal with this problem more than once in my single life until I figured the following out:
Your "friend" is not your friend, she is your frienemy. The reason is that she is competing with you, and true friends don't compete with each other, they support each other. This means for men, academics, career, when your car breaks down, you name it.
This is what I've told my kids so they will be able to both choose good friends, and be good friends to others.
To find a true friend, you have to wait a while. You have to wait until something *good* happens to you, or something *bad* happens to you.
When something good happens to you, who is cheering and shouting congratulations from the rooftops? Who is annoyed or jealous? And who has suddenly disappeared?
When something bad happens to you, who is helping you get through it? Who is quietly smirking (schadenfreude). And who has suddenly disappeared?
When you find the true friend, invest more time in them--and be their true friend back. And when you find our someone is really your frienemy, just distance yourself, put them back at acquaintance level. Don't waste your time with frienemies because life is too short. And don't tell them things--meaning, don't *trust* them, as they will exploit your trust. So, for example, don't tell them you like that guy.
Your "friend" is not your friend, she is your frienemy. The reason is that she is competing with you, and true friends don't compete with each other, they support each other. This means for men, academics, career, when your car breaks down, you name it.
This is what I've told my kids so they will be able to both choose good friends, and be good friends to others.
To find a true friend, you have to wait a while. You have to wait until something *good* happens to you, or something *bad* happens to you.
When something good happens to you, who is cheering and shouting congratulations from the rooftops? Who is annoyed or jealous? And who has suddenly disappeared?
When something bad happens to you, who is helping you get through it? Who is quietly smirking (schadenfreude). And who has suddenly disappeared?
When you find the true friend, invest more time in them--and be their true friend back. And when you find our someone is really your frienemy, just distance yourself, put them back at acquaintance level. Don't waste your time with frienemies because life is too short. And don't tell them things--meaning, don't *trust* them, as they will exploit your trust. So, for example, don't tell them you like that guy.
Anonymous
09/13/2018 09:31
Subject: What possesses a woman to go after every guy you are interested in?
+1 for it being a competition. She may not even realize it, but it seems to be an instinct in some people. Look outside of your circle, do not tell her the details, and keep your distance. She has some growing to do.
Anonymous
09/13/2018 09:28
Subject: What possesses a woman to go after every guy you are interested in?
Its competition. Is she needy and a little princess growing up?
DW has a friend like this. When we first started dating she told me that I was her first bf that didn't flirt back with her friend. She was always trying to get DWs bfs to flirt and hit on her
DW has a friend like this. When we first started dating she told me that I was her first bf that didn't flirt back with her friend. She was always trying to get DWs bfs to flirt and hit on her
Anonymous
09/12/2018 20:30
Subject: What possesses a woman to go after every guy you are interested in?
Anonymous wrote:Another woman’s interest in a guy validates her interest in him. This is a wierd female phenomenon. A guy is hotter when other women want him.
This is right. I’ve seen it many times!
Anonymous
09/12/2018 20:16
Subject: What possesses a woman to go after every guy you are interested in?
This girl is NOT your friend. Distance yourself asap before she does something truly hurtful.