Anonymous wrote:Now that my kids are getting older, I'm finding age a bigger factor in making mom friends. Again, some of it is life stage, but some of it is just outgrowing some typical mom conversations. I don't shun anyone or refuse to have play dates or anything, but the people I'm likely to be actual friends with for myself are closer to my age than they were when I first started having babies 10 years ago and didn't care much.

Here are some of the reasons I've started to gravitate more toward people within 10 years of my age again (I'm 46, my youngest is 3.5):

We're done having babies; they're still considering another, maybe a few years down the road.

We're actively thinking about retirement; they're thinking about launching and rebuilding careers.

I'm in perimenopause; they're still weighing the long-term birth control options.

Our parents are entering their 80s, with all the things that go along with that; they still (for the most part) have parents in their 60s and 70s.

I'm back at work in a much increased capacity and loving it; many of them are still conflicted about work or weighing the SAH options.

I'm 46, I can't drink alcohol anymore, and I'm not interested in late night anything; many of them are still actively involved in the music/club/bar scene.


I agree with all of this.

I just turned 50 and have a 9 year old. I certainly don't shun anyone and welcome playdates with any child my DC likes/wants to know better. However, the older I get the more my perspectives and conversations are changing. Its impossible to talk to to someone in their 30's about retirement plans/goals/etc. Its just not a "real" or relatable topic for them. Also, the parenting stage is huge. When in a group of moms with babies/toddlers I have very little to talk about. While I can relate to what they are feeling and going through, unless they have an older child it's impossible for them to understand anything about my current parenting challenges or choices.

Anonymous wrote:I suppose I am an "older mom", being 46 with a 7 year old...

For me, it just matters that (a) I like the other parent and (b) our kids like each other. My "mom friends" range from 30 - 44, with my closest of the other moms being 35.

Age doesn't really matter, though I definitely find there are some differences in certain situations ... For example, I am not a fan of alcohol at children's events and don't take my son to "family" happy hours, whereas most of the younger moms I know don't have any issues with it. I am not obsessed with my son's education and getting into this or that program, etc. I think, because I am "older" and have parents who I was never close to and are now nearing their end, I hold my family closer and see more value in quality, regular family time vs things like summer camps, after school programs, academic enrichment opportunities, etc. This isn't criticism, just differences I notice among those we know.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 50 and my youngest is 10. Fifth grade.

The only thing I notice that some of the things younger moms worry/care about are the things I no longer worry/care about, if that makes sense. They might care more about making sure their kid having good multiplication skills in second grade, while I'm most concerned about my child having good manners, etc.

They might care more about fitting into a peer group and seem insecure about it, but at this stage of my life I am who I am and I am comfortable with it. If we become friends, terrific. If not, that's fine, too. I can stand alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I am considered an older mom, currently 35 year old with a 3 year old & a newborn. The problem is I look young, but I have no common conversation with 20s mom (does not click with them in terms of conservation & their lifestyles, e.g. fashion etc). And, 30s mom think than I don't belong to their group because I don't look matured or act matured enough. So, I mainly only hang out with my college friends with kids now, and we all have similar age kids. We all feel so old mentally and we have shared more interests in common.

I have many coworkers at my workplace that are similar to my age, and they have multiple kids in high school or middle school. And, I am so jealous of them.

Where on earth do you work that you have 35 year old coworkers with high schoolers??

Anonymous wrote:Older moms usually have more than 1 kid and that makes their mindset pretty different from a young mom dealing with her firstborn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I am considered an older mom, currently 35 year old with a 3 year old & a newborn. The problem is I look young, but I have no common conversation with 20s mom (does not click with them in terms of conservation & their lifestyles, e.g. fashion etc). And, 30s mom think than I don't belong to their group because I don't look matured or act matured enough. So, I mainly only hang out with my college friends with kids now, and we all have similar age kids. We all feel so old mentally and we have shared more interests in common.

I have many coworkers at my workplace that are similar to my age, and they have multiple kids in high school or middle school. And, I am so jealous of them.

Where on earth do you work that you have 35 year old coworkers with high schoolers??

Anonymous wrote:I think I am considered an older mom, currently 35 year old with a 3 year old & a newborn. The problem is I look young, but I have no common conversation with 20s mom (does not click with them in terms of conservation & their lifestyles, e.g. fashion etc). And, 30s mom think than I don't belong to their group because I don't look matured or act matured enough. So, I mainly only hang out with my college friends with kids now, and we all have similar age kids. We all feel so old mentally and we have shared more interests in common.

I have many coworkers at my workplace that are similar to my age, and they have multiple kids in high school or middle school. And, I am so jealous of them.