Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 09:51     Subject: Wife Is Going Overboard..
OP, this is a money issue beyond the baby. You can spend and endless amount on kids, too, as well as vacations, decorating a home, cars, etc. You guys need to have a talk about budgeting and priorities.

Have you ever met with a financial planner? Maybe now that you are starting a family you could get some professional advice on how much you should be saving vs. spending (and involving a professional saves you from being "the bad guy"). Then work out what your known, "fixed" expenses are (mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc) and then you will see what is left for other stuff. You guys will have to compromise and agree.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 09:37     Subject: Re:Wife Is Going Overboard..
Designer for the baby's room? What???
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 09:35     Subject: Wife Is Going Overboard..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first child. We are designing the nursery and getting everything needed for the baby. She is going overboard with wanting a huge theme, fancy furniture, and a bunch of stuff. I know she is super excited, but I don’t see the point of spending a ton of money on items are child will grow out of quickly. I understand we will need to spend money on some staple items like a crib, rocking chair, dresser, car seat, stroller, etc., but I don’t think we need a $1200 bassinet, two different swings, a bunch of brand new clothes, etc. I don’t mean to come across as a jerk, because I’m just as excited, but I know there is more important items to put money towards. How can I make her see this?


You are right. None of this is stuff the kid will ever know or remember.


It isn't for the kid to know or remember, silly. It is for the mom to enjoy her short lived period as the mother of an infant.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 09:33     Subject: Wife Is Going Overboard..
Anonymous wrote:There are a few things worth spending money on: stroller, infant car seat, baby carrier, comfortable rocking chair/glider. Everything else you are fine with Target or Ikea. Tell your wife to pick which things are important to her and set a budget.


Agree with this. Babies honestly need diddly squat.

Include a good baby sling or carrier. Try a few in with baby once she's here.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 09:30     Subject: Re:Wife Is Going Overboard..
Anonymous wrote:We had a new crib and bassinet. Neither was ever used. Baby would not sleep unless cuddled next to me. I would wait until baby arrives and you see what you actually need.


Cosleeping with a newborn is dangerous. Do not do this.

Just get a cheap crib or bassinet
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 08:16     Subject: Wife Is Going Overboard..
What is your hhi
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 08:16     Subject: Wife Is Going Overboard..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first child. We are designing the nursery and getting everything needed for the baby. She is going overboard with wanting a huge theme, fancy furniture, and a bunch of stuff. I know she is super excited, but I don’t see the point of spending a ton of money on items are child will grow out of quickly. I understand we will need to spend money on some staple items like a crib, rocking chair, dresser, car seat, stroller, etc., but I don’t think we need a $1200 bassinet, two different swings, a bunch of brand new clothes, etc. I don’t mean to come across as a jerk, because I’m just as excited, but I know there is more important items to put money towards. How can I make her see this?


I'm with you dude. How the hell did generations of poor families survive without $1200 bassinets?


They don't
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 08:13     Subject: Wife Is Going Overboard..
Guy here. Let her buy the things she wants if you guys can afford it. She's a new mom, and she wants the best for her kid. It's the first-time mom syndrome. Take a deep breath. It's not worth fighting over.

Good thing is you can reuse it for the second kid

Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 08:13     Subject: Re:Wife Is Going Overboard..
You lost me at “she wants to hire a designer for the baby’s room.” It seems to me you’re justified in saying that’s ludicrous. If you cave on that, she may be telling you tomorrow that only a Range Rover is safe enough for baby.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 07:54     Subject: Re:Wife Is Going Overboard..
Anonymous wrote:Let her have her fun - this phase doesn’t last long but it can be a very fun time in life. Let her enjoy it.
Maybe explain that other people will get the baby some things like clothes, but try your best to be less of a grinch.

To put it in perspective our ‘baby daughter’ is now a loud, snarky, demon from hell going off to college and we’re counting down the days and minutes until we drop her off there and speed our broken down dented minivan away after drop off day !!


My eye-rolling salty 12 year old is lounging on the couch playing Fortnite and I agree, within reason. I was so darn practical when I was pregnant. Bought everything second hand, everything gender neutral, refused to indulge in stuff I thought was unneeded or frivolous. I wish I had lightened up a bit, and just been goofy and happy more and worried less. My kid is fabulous, but all kids come with worry, and I wish I had enjoyed the time before the real work started.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 07:47     Subject: Wife Is Going Overboard..
Anonymous wrote:You are right about the bassinet. She is right about the clothes. Infants can go through 3-4 outfits a day. Poop.


People will buy baby adorable clothes as a gift and they’ll have more clothes then they can handle.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 07:45     Subject: Re:Wife Is Going Overboard..
Let her have her fun - this phase doesn’t last long but it can be a very fun time in life. Let her enjoy it.
Maybe explain that other people will get the baby some things like clothes, but try your best to be less of a grinch.

To put it in perspective our ‘baby daughter’ is now a loud, snarky, demon from hell going off to college and we’re counting down the days and minutes until we drop her off there and speed our broken down dented minivan away after drop off day !!
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 07:23     Subject: Wife Is Going Overboard..
Get the cheap bassinett. Tell her to buy one swing now and if baby doesn't like that one, she can buy the other one later.

Don't go cheap on glider, carseat or stroller, I agree.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 07:22     Subject: Wife Is Going Overboard..
Anonymous wrote:You are right about the bassinet. She is right about the clothes. Infants can go through 3-4 outfits a day. Poop.


True, but you don't know yet what sizes will work. I brought 3 different sizes to the hospital, none fit and baby went home in the hospital shirt and diaper. This was a full term 7 lb baby. Also, people mostly gives clothes at showers, IME.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2018 07:16     Subject: Wife Is Going Overboard..
You are right about the bassinet. She is right about the clothes. Infants can go through 3-4 outfits a day. Poop.