I'm in the same boat with my dd 10. I have found that once I get the tangles out after a shower, I blow dry her hair. I think getting the kinks out of her hair near the scalp is really helpful and reduces tangling. I generally just use a good comb to detangle her hair.

Why in the world do you think a short hair cut is stigmatizing??

Long, straggly hair looks ridiculous on young girls anyway.

Bribery - she gets something she wants once the hair is brushed. That's the only thing that gets it done for me.

How are her iron levels? Some SN kids have different iron biochemistry related to the condition itself or medication effects. Are there any recent bloodwork results where you can check ferritin levels? Her nutrition (or how the body is using the nutrients) can affect thickness of hair...maybe causing tangles to be worse.

What tear free brush was it. You have to use The Wet Brush. Get it at target.

Lots of real conditioner.
“Wet brush” while it’s wet.
Let her pick the tv show or movie and put her on a bar stool in front of TV.
Coconut oil for any mats.
Ideally, some sort of leave in product on the pony tail part.
I find it take about 10 minutes of brushing for every day it’s been since the last comb through. (So if I only do it once a week, it’s a little over an hour.). I can’t really stand to do it every night so we do it a couple times a week.

I’ve got a girl with long, fine straight hair that tangles easily. My recommendations:

- the Wet brush, as others have recommended
- Garner Fructisse “Grow Strong” conditioner
- brush hair in the bath, with conditioner in. This gets out core tangles.
- after rinsing and towel-drying, you will need to brush again, but it will be much easier
- always braid hair before sleep. I usually braid it at and it dries while she sleeps
- In the morning, I usually brush it out and rebraid
- if not a braid for the day, then ponytails. Wearing hair down is for special occasions only.

My daughter is young enough (eg not a teen with oily hair) that we only need to wash her hair once or twice a week, which is helpful too.

Brush with conditioner on while in the tub or shower. Much easier. Braid at night to sleep.

Satin pillow case will make hair staticky.

Get your kid a pixie cut or something easier on you and her.

Try having your kid wash her hair "sandwich style" with conditioner at the beginning and the end.

Load up conditioner at the beginning, and then wet brush it while the conditioner is still in. This will make sure that any tangles are out before the shampoo hits.

Then put shampoo on the scalp and wet brush it down. Don't scrub or scrunch, just the brush.

End with a little conditioner and a last trip with the brush.

OP, you've got some great suggestions here, particularly the wet brush and the satin pillowcase.

I'm a high school special ed teacher, in a high school where long hair on girls is the style. In my experience, the girls with messy hair stand out more than the girls with neat cute haircuts.

Two things that might help.

1) Finding some "cool" slightly older girls (maybe a teenager in your neighborhood looking to make a few bucks) who will help her look at styles and can be the expert on what is "cool".

2) Many kids at that age are really into the idea of being helpful, social justice etc . . . We've made cutting girls hair into an event by donating to locks of love or something similar. Kids who donate at my school get tons of positive attention for it.

I just spent 2 hours combing the mats out of my 12 year old’s hair yesterday. Have you thought about an undercut? It will still look long, but cuts down on much of the bulk in the back. (My kid will not do one, but I think it would help. She is super sensitive to getting her hair brushed and obviously, has not reach the point where she is taking care of it herself.)

Anonymous wrote:We also use “The Wet Brush” that is the only brand that works. Knock offs don’t work.

After shampooing put a lot of Aussie 3 minute miracle in hair and brush from the bottom up. If really matted get the child out of the tub and let them watch whatever isn’t usually allowed/ or play game or whatever while you brush.

You will need to do very small sections from the bottom up while holding the hair.

Once it is untangled- keep it braided at night, while swimming, during sports. Use a silk/ satin pillowcase to minimize tangled too.

You also need to brush it well each night before braiding. My DD will lie with her head on my lap while I slowly brush the underneath with the wet brush. That is where her mats form almost daily.

Good luck!

This is what we do. You think tangles are bad, imagine a lice infestation.

We also use “The Wet Brush” that is the only brand that works. Knock offs don’t work.

After shampooing put a lot of Aussie 3 minute miracle in hair and brush from the bottom up. If really matted get the child out of the tub and let them watch whatever isn’t usually allowed/ or play game or whatever while you brush.

You will need to do very small sections from the bottom up while holding the hair.

Once it is untangled- keep it braided at night, while swimming, during sports. Use a silk/ satin pillowcase to minimize tangled too.

You also need to brush it well each night before braiding. My DD will lie with her head on my lap while I slowly brush the underneath with the wet brush. That is where her mats form almost daily.

Good luck!

Get a short hair cut to help in the dematting process.

Detanglers and or leave in conditioners.

Also you may need to try a few types of brushes. My kid uses a natural boar bristle brush which is actually quite soft. You could also try a genie brush.