Oh yes. I think about this whenever I buy treats or meals for my kids at our private pool.

We went to a public pool or beach and we always brought snacks. I knew not to ask for money. The answer was always no.

I mainly feel the guilt when I spend money on food & drinks. I always said when I was growing up poor that I wouldn't skimp on nice shoes & clothes when I could afford it. I don't and I feel zero guilt there. However, it's been a process to train myself not to fret over the restaurant prices too much. Mainly because in the back of my mind I'm still thinking "$15 for ONE cheeseburger bought us food for a week when I was a kid!"

I posted in the other thread today that I still can't bring myself to order soda in a restaurant. I always order water or have a cocktail/wine (which again, guilt!).

It also shocks me how every kid gets braces now. I mean, my niece just got stage one at age 8! That was really unheard of when I was growing up as you usually got them in middle school. And, only the rich kids got braces. Everyone I grew up with who was poor and had crooked teeth got adult braces once they had some money! I was lucky enough to have perfectly straight top teeth and only slightly crooked bottom teeth.

Another thing that was hard to get used to was how much vacations cost. It's still hard to wrap my mind around paying $2000+ for a few days at the beach when growing up we had to scrounge and hustle to make our $800 monthly rent.

Not what I spend money on, but the things I buy and don't even need.
I grew up in Soviet Union and the stores had bare minimum when it came to stuff. You were able to find winter boots if you got really lucky ad ofcourse you had to go to the city for that. Local store had mostly milk, bread and meat products. We were not short of money, we were all short of stuff to buy. Most people made their own socks, scarves, sweaters. Clothes were patched up, reused or handed down. Shoes were always too big, too small or had holes in them. Some parents were better than other chasing down new winter boots. Many fights in the stores. Amazing how little we needed and at the time we didn't even recognize that we were poor because everybody was the same and we always had food.
We were shown a lot of conflicts all over the world with tanks rolling down the street. This put it all to respective- we had a good life. Unless it was cold, we found the hole in the shoe a funny thing. Well, once we got home at least. My kids don't want to listen to my "Russian stories".

Anonymous wrote:I grew up without heat or hot water. But still, living conditions were much better than when my parents were little. My mom had to economize so creatively most of her life that she never let go of her frugal habits. She'd always save used paper towel to wipe the floor with, or tear a tissue paper in half or third so as not to waste any of it. When she died she left behind half a million dollars.

I live modestly, even though we could afford much better house and cars. Compared to the average American I'm frugal, but whenever I toss a piece of paper towel after a single use I feel a little twinge.

I dry the paper towels before reusing it. If I wipe up some spilled water. I let the paper dry. Next I will use it on something that is really dirty like cleaning burnt out food from the stove or a dirty floor.

vanilla

I grew up without heat or hot water. But still, living conditions were much better than when my parents were little. My mom had to economize so creatively most of her life that she never let go of her frugal habits. She'd always save used paper towel to wipe the floor with, or tear a tissue paper in half or third so as not to waste any of it. When she died she left behind half a million dollars.

I live modestly, even though we could afford much better house and cars. Compared to the average American I'm frugal, but whenever I toss a piece of paper towel after a single use I feel a little twinge.

I just spent $1,000 at soccer.com for the required uniforms/training kit/bags/warm up suits for my two children. I had a great conversation with the customer service rep where we both said how ridiculous this is and our mothers would have said 'go find something else to do".

Soccer fees in addition for the year are over $6k. We all played travel soccer when coaches were volunteers and the expenses were much more limited---hotel for away tournaments, but that's it. IF it cost this much (or equivalent in 1970/80s terms), none of us would have played.

Yes!!

I was solidly middle class, but my mother was extremely frugal. When the good humor truck came, she would run inside to give us the Giant store popsicles in the freezer. She watered down the Kool-Aid to make it last longer (so much healthier). We had lots of generic brand labels. I wouldn't get the LL Bean boots, but some generic pair at Marshalls.

I try to not spoil my kids. But, yes, I do exactly that---don't think about things like a vending machine purchase, etc.

My siblings and I also never had braces. Thankfully, our teeth weren't too jacked up. But, my kid whose teeth are better than mine is getting them next month.

We live in a walkable neighborhood so we eat several time times per week. The one big family trip to the restaurant was a big deal. And, we eat out at high end places. My kids will name restaurants that you would not expect a 10 or 12-year old to know or like.

I draw the line at things like giving young kids/tweens iphones, etc. They can have a cast-off phone of ours when I feel they are of age. They have jars they keep their $ and my oldest started mowing neighbor's lawns for $ (at least the 1 or 2 families that also don't have a lawn service).

We live in a very wealthy neighborhood now and the kids get everything without having to do a thing for it. Even though we can afford it, my husband (who grew up poor) and I won't do that. They are learning a work ethic.

My DH didn't grow up poor but his parents were very very frugal. We just took our DD back to school shopping at target and let her pick out crazy character folders and pink composition books etc. even if they were slightly more expensive then the plain ones. When we got in the car to go home my DH was acting funny and he finally confessed how jealous he was. When he was a kid getting anything but the cheapest supplies would have been out of the question.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not shocked at what I spend money on, but that I can easily afford every day expenses: new clothes, shoes, field trips, lunch money, etc. I honestly don't even budget for it; if my kids need something they get it. They do not have to find odd jobs, save and scrap to buy school clothes or sports uniform items.

I am so happy to be able to send my son to Peru with his Spanish Club. I so badly wanted to travel with my high school friends, but it was simply too expensive.

Do you worry about what that will do to them though, in terms of learning to provide for themselves? Or are you pretty much setting them up for life financially, so if they aren't able to support themselves, they have a nice little safety net?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, though for me, it’s mostly labor/time-savers and vacations. I’m finally at the point that paying to have someone clean my home before a party is palatable. And I can go on vacation without calculating how many hours I need to work overtime to pay for it.

It's the labor savers that highlight how different I am from my parents. My parents would never have spent money on house cleaners, lawn mowing, grocery delivery, etc.

This is a new thing though. I grew up in an upper middle class area where most dads were CPAs, engineers, doctors, lawyers, etc and they ALL still mowed their lawn. Our house was set on 1.5 areas too and my dad was out there twice a week like clockwork. Now it seems like even middle class neighborhoods are all mowed by companies.

Our street is still like this. HHI is $300k+ easily and I’d still say at least 1/2 the neighbors do their own lawn, including us. My DH takes pride in it.

We weren’t totally poor but lived paycheck to paycheck and had little left for non-essentials. The biggest thing that shocks me now is travel. We never traveled as a kid, and the rare times we did it was in the car and to the Comfort Inn. My kids are in ES and have no concept of what it’s like to not travel regularly by air. It bothers me - they are nice kids but don’t know how fortunate they are. We tell them, but they don’t “get it.”

Yes. We were never poor-poor (no food insecurity or worries about homelessness). But we went through a lot of paycheck-to-paycheck periods when I was young. Something from a vending machine was a once-a-summer treat, and we almost never went out to eat "just because." Also, no impulse purchases EVER. I knew better than to even ask, because the answer was always "no."

Things I spend money on now, like actual Ziploc bags in a variety of sizes, the ones with characters on them, no less? I can feel my mother's disappointment with younger-me even wanting those things. Older me has four kids and spends money on things that make my life easier or that I think they'd get a kick out of -- neither of those would have been reasons for purchase when I was a child.

I'm not shocked at what I spend money on, but that I can easily afford every day expenses: new clothes, shoes, field trips, lunch money, etc. I honestly don't even budget for it; if my kids need something they get it. They do not have to find odd jobs, save and scrap to buy school clothes or sports uniform items.

I am so happy to be able to send my son to Peru with his Spanish Club. I so badly wanted to travel with my high school friends, but it was simply too expensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, though for me, it’s mostly labor/time-savers and vacations. I’m finally at the point that paying to have someone clean my home before a party is palatable. And I can go on vacation without calculating how many hours I need to work overtime to pay for it.

It's the labor savers that highlight how different I am from my parents. My parents would never have spent money on house cleaners, lawn mowing, grocery delivery, etc.

This is a new thing though. I grew up in an upper middle class area where most dads were CPAs, engineers, doctors, lawyers, etc and they ALL still mowed their lawn. Our house was set on 1.5 areas too and my dad was out there twice a week like clockwork. Now it seems like even middle class neighborhoods are all mowed by companies.

This is a good point...I don't know anyone in my neighborhood that mows their own lawn but it seemed like everyone mowed their own lawn when I was growing up.