Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women love bad boys.

Apparently not since she’s trying to get out of seeing him again.

Anonymous wrote:Women love bad boys.

Anonymous wrote:Listen to me. Tell him you got back together with a boyfriend and you can’t see him
Tell him it was great and if things doing work out you will get in contact
Apologize and don’t say the real reason
Sometimes a little white lie is ok

mselmer wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would kindly text him, letting him know that you have changed your mind about the date.

Tell him you also think it best to no longer communicate & wish him all the best.

Then never communicate w/him again.
Ever.

I'm the OP. I realize I made a terrible mistake with my actions that night. It was impulsive and dangerous. I was drunk, and I've been horny and lonely for years but especially since I broke up with my BF last October, who I on;y dated for 5 months. I'm almost always single. I could never ghost someone. I aim to treat people the way I want to be treated. I think he deserves the respect of me informing him that I'm canceling our date. So I sent him a text hours ago stating "I changed my mind about the date. I can't communicate with you anymore. I wish you all the best." He replied soon after, "ok".

Then I made an appt with my doctor for STD testing next week. I should get my period in about 6 days (I use a phone app to chart my period to avoid pregnancy, and use condoms).

Now 7 hours later, he's texting me asking why I have a change of heart when things started off so great. He was probably shocked earlier and is now confused. I don't want to hurt or insult him by bringing up that I know about his drug addiction/arrests. I don't know if he's still using heroin, but he's drinking alcohol, which is a bad sign. I once read that only 10% of heroin addicts fully recover. I do not want to form a relationship with someone with a drug history, especially a longtime problem with heroin.

What should I do?

mselmer wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would kindly text him, letting him know that you have changed your mind about the date.

Tell him you also think it best to no longer communicate & wish him all the best.

Then never communicate w/him again.
Ever.

I'm the OP. I realize I made a terrible mistake with my actions that night. It was impulsive and dangerous. I was drunk, and I've been horny and lonely for years but especially since I broke up with my BF last October, who I on;y dated for 5 months. I'm almost always single. I could never ghost someone. I aim to treat people the way I want to be treated. I think he deserves the respect of me informing him that I'm canceling our date. So I sent him a text hours ago stating "I changed my mind about the date. I can't communicate with you anymore. I wish you all the best." He replied soon after, "ok".

Then I made an appt with my doctor for STD testing next week. I should get my period in about 6 days (I use a phone app to chart my period to avoid pregnancy, and use condoms).

Now 7 hours later, he's texting me asking why I have a change of heart when things started off so great. He was probably shocked earlier and is now confused. I don't want to hurt or insult him by bringing up that I know about his drug addiction/arrests. I don't know if he's still using heroin, but he's drinking alcohol, which is a bad sign. I once read that only 10% of heroin addicts fully recover. I do not want to form a relationship with someone with a drug history, especially a longtime problem with heroin.

What should I do?

Anonymous wrote:I would kindly text him, letting him know that you have changed your mind about the date.

Tell him you also think it best to no longer communicate & wish him all the best.

Then never communicate w/him again.
Ever.

mselmer wrote:please help! I went to the bar with friends, drank too much alcohol, met a cute guy who also drank too much alcohol, and hit it off. I was comfortable with him because he was there with a male acquaintance of mine from my neighborhood so I assumed "Joe" is a nice, normal guy. That same night, Joe and I went back to my place, and had sex with a condom. Next morning, we agreed to go on a date and he left my house. We texted for the next couple of days. On one text I named a store I was at, think Macy's. He replied that Macy was his last name. I didn't think anything of it at the time. A few days pass and he texts me about going on a date to go for drinks soon. I replied I was interested and then we made plans. The next day I was doing nothing so I Googled him. I was shocked to see that he has had a couple of arrests for heroin possession and larceny over a 10 year period. The two towns he has told me he lived in, the name, and his age all match up so I'm certain it is him! Obviously, I want to cut ties immediately. In my previous texts he talked about how he can't wait to see me again and I texted "me too". How do I break the date and all contact with him?

Anonymous wrote:wow. i don't even go on an first date with someone i met online without finding out his last name and doing a google search.

get tested for stds. call your doctor - i have a vgue idea there is a drug you can take after sex if you may have been exposed to HIV. see if you should take it. heroin is iv drug use - he may have shared needles.

i might not ghost. i might instead text politely and tell him thanks,but you have decided you are not interested or decided instead it would be best if you don't see each other again.

yikes.