Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm looking forward to visiting on Sunday. How do I pick between going to the informal vs formal service for my first time back in a while?

Maybe go informal and feel it out and then go formal once you feel more comfortable?

OP here. I'm looking forward to visiting on Sunday. How do I pick between going to the informal vs formal service for my first time back in a while?

Come as you are! The doors are open.

Anonymous wrote:
If you think the moral values you grew up with intuitively feel more right to you than the moral values that are currently being pushed now, why don't you investigate that further?

What is about Christianity and Christian teaching that allowed it to get so much right for so many years? Maybe it is because there is some truth to it after all.

Why are secular communities not as strong as Christian ones? Does that something about secular values vs. Christian values? If so, which of those values is right, and why?

In any case, I don't think anything you said are the "wrong reasons." I think you are just a seeker but not a believer. That's fine. So, seek, and see what you find.

Thanks for this. Yes, a seeker..

I thought the poster who told me not to go if I'm not already 100% convinced wasn't helpful. Isn't that like telling someone who is out of shape to not bother going to the gym?

As a minor extra comment: those religious bumper stickers that I didn't take seriously before are standing out to me a bit more

If you think the moral values you grew up with intuitively feel more right to you than the moral values that are currently being pushed now, why don't you investigate that further?

What is about Christianity and Christian teaching that allowed it to get so much right for so many years? Maybe it is because there is some truth to it after all.

Why are secular communities not as strong as Christian ones? Does that something about secular values vs. Christian values? If so, which of those values is right, and why?

In any case, I don't think anything you said are the "wrong reasons." I think you are just a seeker but not a believer. That's fine. So, seek, and see what you find.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all these thoughtful replies

That's interesting that it's common to leave the faith as young adults and come back as parents

There is Methodist Church right next to me and a United Church of Christ not far from me either

I think I'll go check them out in the coming weeks

Yes, that’s what I hoped you’d take from my post.

If either church isn’t a good fit, don’t give up. I am pro-church but let’s be honest, some are not that great. We attended a church once where the pastor was an excellent pastor and human being and spent 99% of his time helping others, even people who were not members of his church. He went to hospitals to minister and pray and help the families of those with serious and terminal illnesses in his free time. But the church board was a bunch of skunks.

We ignored the skunky board and their infantile power struggles that meant nothing to anyone but their fellow skunks and thoroughly enjoyed the church.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you plan to join a Christian church but don't plan to read the Bible, pray and fast you'd be better off joining some "church" (read: community gathering organization) to have a sense of community. It would be more spiritually honest. Pretend-Christianity is strongly condemned in the Bible (specifically the Book of Revelation).

What fasting are you talking about?

Not that PP, but Christianity has a fasting tradition from its Jewish roots as a sign of penance and as a means of supplication. Fasting is common to nearly all the major world religions and has been shown to have mental health benefits.

I know Catholics currently fasting over the sex abuse scandal. This was requested by the pope.

Anonymous wrote:If you plan to join a Christian church but don't plan to read the Bible, pray and fast you'd be better off joining some "church" (read: community gathering organization) to have a sense of community. It would be more spiritually honest. Pretend-Christianity is strongly condemned in the Bible (specifically the Book of Revelation).

What fasting are you talking about?

Thanks for all these thoughtful replies

That's interesting that it's common to leave the faith as young adults and come back as parents

There is Methodist Church right next to me and a United Church of Christ not far from me either

I think I'll go check them out in the coming weeks

OP, as I've told my questioning kids, people have made careers out of trying to figure out the existence of God, or if God exists, if he is a personal god, etc. This is nothing new.

Anyone with 1/2 a brain is going to noodle over this question. I don't think you have to figure it out in order to join a church.

Here is something from philosophy: Imagine I said to you, "For the next full minute, believe that the sun isn't going to rise tomorrow."

Well, you can try, but you can't do it. The concept here is that you cannot choose to believe what you believe. At least not like that. You think the way you think based on your experiences and cannot just flip a switch and think the opposite.

But then imagine that you turn on the TV and every station is going on about how a meteor knocked the earth off its slant a little and in your region, the sun wasn't going to rise tomorrow. You turn on the radio and hear the same thing. You may find your belief about the sun not rising changing.

So the key to changing beliefs is new information.

So, one idea is to go to church, listen to some great priest/minister, and maybe some of that will be a novel way of looking at things which will help your faith.

Next: My kids were at a great Catholic school, and the principal was this awesome super-smart nun. She said it was good to plant the seed, because young people turn away from religion, but if they have the seed, it gives them something to come back to when they have kids. It helps them get into a community. I can't remember it all, but her assumption was that as teens/young adults, it's not surprising that they leave, and as they become parents, it's not surprising that they come back. But the idea was to give the kids that seed so they can come back. From that, it sounds like you're on track.

Finally, I'm pretty pragmatic, and I see religion as a tool to be used to help me, and help my kids, be more grounded, have a moral compass, be better people and be happier overall through learning gratitude. I use it to the extent that it helps, and leave those elements that might be toxic to me. So yes I'm a cafeteria Catholic. (There are other tools that can accomplish this; I use many tools to achieve this.)

(As an aside, I feel compelled to say I'm purposefully not inserting anything about the recent Catholic scandal here because it's not the purpose of your post)

Churches can be awesome and fellow church goers can be awesome. Find a church you feel comfortable with and enjoy attending.

You know what makes awesome churches awesome? The love of God and His word that that church is built on, and the love of God in the hearts of those who attend. His word, the Bible, directs and instructs us and flows from us. It lifts us up in joy and carries us in strength when we encounter hardship.

As a child I attended United Methodist churches with my entire family. I attended a private Wesleyan college. I was a phone it in Christian, sort of going through the motions. I enjoyed church but the community and fellowship was more important. Now I attend Baptist Church and still enjoy fellowship, but my relationship with God and my savior Jesus Christ is my focus. It was a journey and it led me to God.

I know it sounds extremely preachy but I am not judgemental nor do I feel everyone must feel as I do. I love God and I love my fellow man with all my heart. I see value in each human life.

Op, I do think that although I attended church many many years and acknowledged God, prayed to God, and considered myself a Christian, I didn’t fully become a Christian until i was much older. You don’t have to believe in God or become super religious but you will be missing out on the most important component: a relationship with God the Father.

You openly admit churches have many attractive qualities you wish to have your children experience; is it a coincidence that many institutions built and operated by believers seem to be places you want to be and want your kids to be? No! It’s because churches are traditionally the home of God. His love and mercy and teachings make those places so. It flows from Him. His love and teachings and word give church those things you desire- they don’t come from man. Open your heart to Him.

You can attend church and go through the motions, many do. I did. For decades. But when I truly listened and truly studied His word, I understood.

Please don’t be put off by my mini-rant. I hope the very very best for you and your child and family. It’s hypocritical for me to instruct others on the “proper” way to attend church, because everyone does as they wish. I am just relating my personal experience, going from someone who attended and even believed to someone who truly believes and feels at home in fellowship in church. I love attending different churches as well, different denominations, and seeing how others worship God. It’s interesting and educational.

I have moved quite often due to my spouses career, and when we get to a new place I will see a church and just attend services Sunday to feel it out. I walk in and have always been met with kindness by members. They welcome me immediately. I would think if I ever went to a Church service as a stranger and wasn’t met with kindness and welcome by that church I probably wouldn’t count that church as a place I want to be.

Good luck op. Please don’t be worried or stressed or scared to find a church to attend. You will know if you like it and want to make it part of your life. You can take small steps and ease into it.

Check out UCC: United Church of Christ. They may be liberal and conservative enough for you.

If you plan to join a Christian church but don't plan to read the Bible, pray and fast you'd be better off joining some "church" (read: community gathering organization) to have a sense of community. It would be more spiritually honest. Pretend-Christianity is strongly condemned in the Bible (specifically the Book of Revelation).

I think being open minded is enough. If you check out churches and find a community you want to be part of, you can give the religion stuff a chance. You don't have to join as an official member or get baptized (again?) or anything just to attend. I guess i don't really think there are "wrong" reasons if you have an open mind.

Anonymous wrote:I sort of get where OP is coming from and the desire for community but at the same time, OP not only has "doubts" about God's existence, she expressed no interest in Jesus in the OP. She just sort of wants what she perceives as a healthy environment for her children, which is a legitimate and worthy goal. But I think there are better ways to get there without joining a church. Ultimately I think church is a waste of time if you do not want to follow Jesus.

I'm the OP and I don't have kids yet - just expecting.

No, it's not about a healthy environment for my children. It's just about being around like minded people as an adult. The comment about my kids is just my general commentary on society

I'm open minded about coming back to the faith but like I said in the title, I'm not there yet