Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poor people donate a proportionately larger share of their income to charity. If you go on the money and finance forum you'll see this play out, as people will say they donate 3K to charity when they earn $300K/year plus, and will say how they're barely making ends meet due to junior's skiing lessons.

That's mostly to churches though.

Lol we give 3k per year on 300k (not thru church thou). I guess we should give more.

Anonymous wrote:No. When my friends and I met at a playground with our kids we found a wallet. It was the poorest person there who grabbed it, took out the cash, and said she'd drop the wallet in the mailbox.

When we all gaped at her in shock, she was like "What? That's how much it costs to get all your crap back. That's life."

Is your friend truly poor or just “poor” compared to your circle of friends?

Anonymous wrote:First, you need to understand that most people driving Range Rovers and Mercedes are totally useless.

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

But in addition to that, yeah. Poor people are generally nicer and more willing to help others.

+1

Also studies have shown that wealthier people have less empathy in general.

The dearest friend I ever had in my life was a custodian named Jim. He loved golf and the Redskins. I don't think he had much money but he always had time to chat. He had a certain soulful wisdom that can only be learned through time and hardship. He told stories almost like Jesus and he helped me understand my own life better. Jim didn't boast or complain - he just talked to me. About twenty years ago it was reported in the news there was a bed bug infestation in homes, hotels, movie theaters and such places. We talked about it for a bit for no other reason than it had been in the news that day.

Jim said, yeah when I was a kid we had bed bugs and I'd wake up in the morning with terrible bites on my legs and stomach. I said man that must have been awful. He said yeah, it was pretty bad, but then we got cockroaches too. But then he matter of factly said, I didn't mind the cockroaches too much because they ate the bed bugs.

My father had a stroke and lingered living on a feeding tube for six months. Jim and I all ways talked about golf and the Redskins. He actually caddied for Sam Snead at Congressional back in the 30s. When my dad was dying Jim always took a few extra minutes to talk to me in the afternoon. Jim didn't have much but he gave me my first set of golf clubs. A real nice set of Titlest irons he'd been saving for a special occasion. He said playing a bit of golf might help me worry less about my Dad . I did play some and it did help some.

Jim never told me what to do. I'd complain about something probably pretty stupid and Jim would listen. He'd pause and a few minutes later he'd tell me a seemingly unrelated story, wish me well and leave to go sweep up in a different room. A couple hours would pass and like a light bulb turning on in my head I'd figure out a solution to whatever problem I had been grappling with. At the moment I just thought I was a very smart man to have solved my problem.

It took me many years to realize it was Jim who somehow prompted me to examine either the importance or the unimportance of my dilemma.

Somehow, Jim always knew what needed to be said to help me find with his help, but also on my own a solution that was practical and one which I could live with.

We lost Jim in the fall of 2011. I was honored be allowed to be a pall bearer at his funeral. When no one was looking I slid a couple sleeves of Titlest golf balls in the casket with him.

I miss you so much Jim - hope I can get to play a few more rounds with you someday.

F

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s easiest for middle class people to be kind. Poor people are struggling. Rich people feel entitled. The middle is where it’s at. Of course there are many good people of all stripes. It this has been my observation with respect to money.

This

Anonymous wrote:Poor people donate a proportionately larger share of their income to charity. If you go on the money and finance forum you'll see this play out, as people will say they donate 3K to charity when they earn $300K/year plus, and will say how they're barely making ends meet due to junior's skiing lessons.

That's mostly to churches though.

In my childhood neighborhood, families consistently shared food and other resources as a survival strategy. Moving to MoCo as a single mom working multiple jobs, I was shocked by how self-isolated poor people were. At points, it was almost ludicrous watching two neighbors fail to figure out that one with $10, but no car and the one with a car, but no gas money should help each other out to get to work until pay day.

Here's my reflection as someone who has come up through the income classes, gotten older, and etc.

I would have thought nothing of stopping to help someone when I was in my early 20s. I wasn't poor, but I was single, a bit of a nerd. I thought that I was invincible and had really nothing to lose.

Things are very different now. I have a family to take care of, I don't want to get hurt/injured, so I'd rather not take risks that I can avoid. Sure it's a selfish behavior, but one of the things I know is that successful people often came about that way by knowing what the risks are and taking them only when they understand and can control the risk.

I'll say this, if someone flagged me down, I'd absolutely help them. If they are not actively flagging down people for help, I am not going to stop and volunteer.

Anonymous wrote:No. When my friends and I met at a playground with our kids we found a wallet. It was the poorest person there who grabbed it, took out the cash, and said she'd drop the wallet in the mailbox.

When we all gaped at her in shock, she was like "What? That's how much it costs to get all your crap back. That's life."

That's not a poor person, that's a peace of trash person. Poverty does not equate to criminal or shitty behavior (yeh, yeh, I know that ''social scientists'' say poverty=crime it's not true).

Anonymous wrote:My new car just stopped in the middle of a road today. Wasn’t sure what the problem was. Many Range Rovers and Mercedes drove by and then a nice landscaper stopped to help me. Then some other nice folks stopped to help push my car off to the side of the road. Dh and I come from humble beginnings and I was just thinking some of the kindest happiest people I know are poor.

Then I thought I have never stopped to help someone on the side of a road. I would make excuses that I have 3 young kids but I need to do better.

Immigrants tend to be nicer people, by definition.

Anonymous wrote:No. When my friends and I met at a playground with our kids we found a wallet. It was the poorest person there who grabbed it, took out the cash, and said she'd drop the wallet in the mailbox.

When we all gaped at her in shock, she was like "What? That's how much it costs to get all your crap back. That's life."

All this says to me is that you have crappy friends. Hope you dumped her after that, after you saw her true colors.

^^also, OP, I think you are forgetting that this may not be about money as much as it is about time. Who is more time-strapped? That might be the divider between people who stop and help, not how poor or wealthy they are.

You've got three kids...can't imagine you would be first to stop your car to help. But maybe later in life when your kids are older.

Anonymous wrote:This financial guy, Dave Ramsey, has a radio show and he said something like this, and I thought was very wise:

Money doesn't change you. It is an intensifier. It makes you more of who you are. If you are a generous person, you now have the resources to be more generous. If you are a flashy person, money lets you be even more flashy...etc.

So money makes more extreme the person's character, often making it more visible to others.

I'm not a fan of his at all, but I really like that concept.

This financial guy, Dave Ramsey, has a radio show and he said something like this, and I thought was very wise:

Money doesn't change you. It is an intensifier. It makes you more of who you are. If you are a generous person, you now have the resources to be more generous. If you are a flashy person, money lets you be even more flashy...etc.

So money makes more extreme the person's character, often making it more visible to others.

Maybe not nicer, but I think studies have shown that poorer people are more generous with what they have. That's partly because when you're poor you need other people and so you give more reciprocal support. Wealthy people can just pay for their own, so it doesn't benefit them to share what they have today and expect that someone else will share with them tomorrow.