OP here and I cannot thank you all enough for all of the extremely helpful suggestions and encouragement! I was in a really down place last night when I posted (obviously) and you all have really helped me reframe this.

I am at the hairdresser now and am going to come back and post some of the lovely things I have found at the items you suggested. I also started shopping my own closet this morning and Inhave a good array of classic bottoms (pencil skirts and black slacks) so I can focus my energy on tops and shoes and details.

A few specific responses
- I will order that Revlon thing- my hairdresser is going to add some long layers and rich brown lowlights and show me how to roundbrush the layers
- great reminder about nails- I will make a mani/ pedi app that and get gel nails in likely pale pink tone to avoid chips
- I can't wax or thread- I break out and turn red- I am really pasty white, but I can pluck carefully
- I am covered on good lingerie and spanx although I need to order some new Capri ones so great reminder!
- I plan to do a rent the runway unlimited for a month- and maybe longer
- I am signing up for shop runner- I think eloquent is on there
- I think I will get one of those m lefleur jardigans- I had no idea they had plus sizes
- I have pinned the Lafayette 148 site- wow those are lovely clothes- hoping I can get some on rent the runway

On the attitude front- I have decided to think of this as a good opportunity to prepare "elevator" speeches about my successful client work to boost my confidence.

And I am really going to work hard to be myself. I am far from perfect, but I am really good at what I do and part of the reason for that is that I am generally comfortable in my own skin and confident but not arrogant. One of my clients once told me that he loved working with me because I was so smart but didn't take myself too seriously and I have a sense of humor that I use to connect with his team. So I really need to just return to myself and shut down those critical voices. I don't have to be 120 pounds to be professional and polished. Sorry that last part did sound a bit arrogant.

I am also goi to try to remember that this event could be a great opportunity to meet some new people,and reconnect with folks I haven't seen in a while.

If I were you I would basically copy/paste your post into the trunk club app and get them to help you. They are real people there who are great at this stuff, and you can even call and have a discussion w your stylist. I also think MMFleur is great, and I'd also add in there Eileen Fisher.

I am about ten years younger then you, OP, but I like watching women in my field older then me and seeing what I gravitate too. I'd echo what some of the PPs said--don't worry about your weight. Just think "chic" and go black when in doubt. Don't do anything "cute", avoid huge jewelry or lace. A few woman I admire (who are admitedly way older then you, but maybe helpful) are Christine Lagarde (head of the IMF) and Samantha Cameron (former first lady of the UK)

I like you.

Part of looking good is confidence and poise so don’t forget to be nice to yourself even as you’re feeling a little self-critical here.

Great suggestions above. One thing I would add is the Cole Hana Tali flat at Nordstrom. Check them out. They have round and pointed toe versions. Many colors, look super polished and professional, but flat and comfortable.

Classic, quality clothes that fit. It sounds like you know what works on you, so that’s great! Quality shoes and bag that go together as well. Plan every outfit now down to the smallest detail.

And then sleep well, hydrate, no alcohol, sugar or salt for two weeks to avoid looking puffy. Don’t try anything new that you can’t grow back in time , but make sure you have a clean eyebrow line, and you can try a facial peel regimen until the first event, either one that has worked for you in the past or a very gentle one you can order on Amazon. Something to make your skin glow a little bit.

And then go prepared with your best smile and posture, attentive listening skills and most sparkling conversation. You’ll slay them!

That was easier than I thought. There's some good info here on Nina McLemore's philosophy of dressing:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/people/meet-nina-mclemore-the-designer-behind-hillary-clintons-rules-of/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/why-are-washingtons-most-powerful-women-all-wearing-this-jacket/2016/06/26/b468d646-3706-11e6-a254-2b336e293a3c_story.html?utm_term=.5ddccd94d353

Do not apologize for Talbots. They probably do have the best plus size work wear available in lots of options.

Also, i read a newspaper feature (maybe the Post?) a while ago about the fashion that political women wear. Nina McLemore was considered the go to. Basically, it's black bottoms with a richly colored top/jacket. The jackets tend to all have fold back sleeves and a higher collar and a bit of swing. Think Elizabeth Warren style. I'm not describing it well, but it's all designed to flatter while not being too fussy or attention grabbing. Might be worth grabbing some jackets from there to see if they work for you. (or googling Nina McLemore political dressing or something like that- I will if I have a chance and post link in a bit).

The idea is that you cannot appear younger. You are who you are. What you're aiming for is sleek, stylish, polished, calm and confident.

Attitude as other shave pointed out is going to be important. Don't fret about what you're not - be assured that you are competent and a good employee and they would be lucky to keep you!

Good luck OP!!

OP, I speak a lot at events on topics like Gen Y and Z in the Workplace, marketing to young people, etc. so I get what you're saying.

I like going for clean, sleek looks from Club Monaco, Zara, White House Black Market. I stay away from anything too floral or printed since it doesn't look as sharp when I'm in front of a crowd and it looks bad in photos. It depends on your style, but I also stay away from big statement necklaces and earrings. I have a small face and sharp jawline and I think it can look too forced and ridiculous (think Kellyanne Conway).

All this advice sounds good. Just wanted to chime in to say +1 to the Spanx but hold off on the eyebrow wax if you have this meeting in the near future. You don't want to risk potential irritation or even worse, a weird breakout. Just devote some time every evening to plucking them until they look good. Way less risky this way.

Are you positive that they mean physical appearance, rather than other aspects of image? My DD’s employer aggressively hired for a younger, more diverse workforce. It took about three years to change the company’s image. It had nothing to do with clothing, hairstyles, and makeup.

Anonymous wrote:Look into some Wacoal bras. The last thing you need is for your chest being constricted to the point of misery.

Also see if you can get professionally fitted. Your size may not be what you think it is.

I know she gets mixed reviews ,but you may want to check out the blogger Wardrobe Oxygen.

Has anyone tried LeTote?

Look into some Wacoal bras. The last thing you need is for your chest being constricted to the point of misery.

I am going to disagree with a PP that older people must be thin to convey a young-spirited attitude. I am not overweight, but the people who really impress me with style tend to be overweight women who are super-groomed and stylishly dressed.

I recommend taking a look at MMLafleur plus size selections. At a minimum, consider their jardigan, which is on the expensive side (as most of their things are) but extremely versatile.

I personally haven't tried this brand and know nothing about their shipping policies, but it gets good reviews here and definitely conveys a stylish corporate look. Dresses can be a really good and simple choice. I would look at the Etsuko (if your legs are decent above the knees--this dress is shorter than it should be for appeal to a wide variety of figure types) and the Aurelia as well, which could work well for you figure type.

https://mmlafleur.com/collection/plus-sizes

With regard to hair, consider order the Revlon Volumizer from Amazon NOW and see if it works miracles on your wavy hair as it has for others here. There are Youtube videos if you want to see more.

https://www.amazon.com/Revlon-One-Step-Hair-Dryer-Volumizer/dp/B01LSUQSB0/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

I feel for you, OP! Our appearance stats are very similar - right down the planter fascitis!

Someone else mentioned Eloquii - I have not tried them yet but have been getting their emails for a few weeks and like what they offer.

You might also try Stitch Fix. My assigned stylist was very responsive to my needs.

Re shoes, look at Clark’s on Zappos. They make some shoes that have straps across the middle that look a bit stylish but give support.

And finally, easier said than done but own the room! Good posture, smiles, don’t look at your phone, make small talk, reapply lipstick etc. it sucks that you have to parade yourself like this in 2018 but accept it and do it! And btw, based in what you’ve written above, you seem pretty great. Good luck!