Divorced mom here. I own my house with my ex. I would let him stay over. But I’d also tell a boyfriend of two! Years my plan ahead of time.

Bf is thoughtless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be more worried that you're dating a guy who would move away from his child. Red flag on what kind of person he is.

Sounds like it is the ex wife who moved. She still is co owner of the house.

Haha, duh, you're right.

Anonymous wrote:I'd be more worried that you're dating a guy who would move away from his child. Red flag on what kind of person he is.

Sounds like it is the ex wife who moved. She still is co owner of the house.

I'd be more worried that you're dating a guy who would move away from his child. Red flag on what kind of person he is.

I think before you make a big deal about this, you need to be very clear on what your concerns are about this arrangement, and thus why you feel you should have been consulted before he allowed her to say. If you think your boyfriend is going to cheat on you with his ex, you have bigger issues in the relationship than whether she stays in his house, because if they're going to hook up, they can do it even if she's sleeping elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:OP this is a 2 year relationship, not 2 weeks. You need to find out if you both want a future. If so he needs to sell the house, or pay her the portion owed. She cannot stay at his home. If he refuses to do both you need to stop wasting time ASAP.

It sounds like he kicked you to the curb when she came to town.

It’s the ex wife’s house too so no way OP’s boyfriend has any say in whether she can stay there. OP needs to get over it. So he discusses with you, so what?

Ex wife is the coowner if the house. If she showed up unannounced and wanted to move in permanently, she can.

Anonymous wrote:OP this is a 2 year relationship, not 2 weeks. You need to find out if you both want a future. If so he needs to sell the house, or pay her the portion owed. She cannot stay at his home. If he refuses to do both you need to stop wasting time ASAP.

It sounds like he kicked you to the curb when she came to town.

They are DIVORCED.

OP this is a 2 year relationship, not 2 weeks. You need to find out if you both want a future. If so he needs to sell the house, or pay her the portion owed. She cannot stay at his home. If he refuses to do both you need to stop wasting time ASAP.

It sounds like he kicked you to the curb when she came to town.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is the house still in both their names two years after the divorce?

Some people don't want to sell the house - perhaps a loss, the house is upside down, etc...

Not everyone is DC rich and pays off a house.

Or it’s an excuse to stay entangled.

They have a kid together so they are going to stay entangled forever, just a given with someone divorced w/kid.

If he cared about your relationship he wouldn't have the ex stay at his house!!

Those are big red flags to get out. He had a lot of options so I'm thinking there's more going on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is the house still in both their names two years after the divorce?

Some people don't want to sell the house - perhaps a loss, the house is upside down, etc...

Not everyone is DC rich and pays off a house.

Or it’s an excuse to stay entangled.

OP, I would be concerned. I have a co-worker who does this with the ex . . . and that person is full of drama and mess.

I dated a guy who had not sold the home after divorce, this, along with other issues, was a signal that he was not ready for a relationship. When he tried reconciling, I did not bother communicating all the things that were wrong because he was not in that space yet. He needed time to work through the various stages of divorce.

When someone is ready to for a committed relationship again, they will tie up all loose ends.

Who cares, even if hes sleeping with her its not like theyve never done it before.

Anonymous wrote:I think you're right to be upset that he hid it from you, but the reason is unclear. Have you gotten mad at him before for being friendly with her? Or is he actually too enmeshed with her? I think it can be perfectly OK for her to stay at the house (especially since she still owns it!!) but the devil is in tje details.

agree, be rational, there could be a very good reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see posts of this nature I wonder if the girlfriend is actually upset because her boyfriend treats his ex better than she is treated by her own ex.

Nah, I think they are looking for problems bc they like drama.

+1 it's just a way to mask her own insecurity

Right - it becomes like a competition - will he treat her better than he treats me? Who "wins"?