Anonymous wrote:If he has the stated boundary issues, it’s not a far leap to think that he may be attempting to DM (private message) them which is one reason for mutual following. Ask for his password or have him log in with you or sent and look at his messages. With his history, I fear that you actually will find inappropriate exchanges.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, "Instagram model" = hooker...surprised folks don't know that yet.

Some of them, yep. But even for the ones that are, following them on Insta isn't the same as visiting a hooker, unless you think they have intimate contact with hundreds of thousands to millions of people all over the world. It's more like looking at a hooker when you see one. Again: additional contact, DM's, personal requests: sketchy. But just looking at women because you think they're sexy is not a huge deal to most people.

OP's husband lying about not following the accounts (and if she's the follow-up poster, him having "problems with boundaries" in the marriage) is the real issue. Just following model accounts isn't a big deal.

OP here. His IG account is set on private so he must "authorize"them to follow, correct and then follow them back. Some of these women have private pages while other are public. I can see that he is listed as one of their followers. I don't have a big problem with him looking at girls in bikinis (like my VS catalog etc.), but I find this a bit weird. I guess, I'll just leave it alone for now. The problems with boundaries have been a big red flag throughout our marriage. DH thinks that he is just being friendly, but it has gotten him into trouble with other husbands etc. when he started contacting/emailing their wives, girlfriends etc. I don't think that he has bad intentions, but he has an enormous need for admiration, attention etc. I have thought about ending this marriage before because it is bothering me a lot and I feel disrespected and humiliated in front of friends, neighbors etc.. I have asked him to stop before and he will do it for a little while and then start up again. I feel like I'm never good enough. We have children together so I cannot just walk away, but this behavior is slowly killing my love for my husband.

Anonymous wrote:My husband has a career and children. He has no time for instagram...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, "Instagram model" = hooker...surprised folks don't know that yet.

Some of them, yep. But even for the ones that are, following them on Insta isn't the same as visiting a hooker, unless you think they have intimate contact with hundreds of thousands to millions of people all over the world. It's more like looking at a hooker when you see one. Again: additional contact, DM's, personal requests: sketchy. But just looking at women because you think they're sexy is not a huge deal to most people.

OP's husband lying about not following the accounts (and if she's the follow-up poster, him having "problems with boundaries" in the marriage) is the real issue. Just following model accounts isn't a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, "Instagram model" = hooker...surprised folks don't know that yet.

Some of them, yep. But even for the ones that are, following them on Insta isn't the same as visiting a hooker, unless you think they have intimate contact with hundreds of thousands to millions of people all over the world. It's more like looking at a hooker when you see one. Again: additional contact, DM's, personal requests: sketchy. But just looking at women because you think they're sexy is not a huge deal to most people.

OP's husband lying about not following the accounts (and if she's the follow-up poster, him having "problems with boundaries" in the marriage) is the real issue. Just following model accounts isn't a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, he has no social media aside from LinkedIn, which is very new. This would bug me, mostly because I think it's tacky and embarrassing for a grown man.

I feel the same. I think, it is a bit tacky. Especially since our mutual friends/family are on Instagram as well. I sometimes wonder what they may think... If I can see it, then they can see it as well. [/quote

I think it is tacky too, and it just seems like lousy judgment.

It's not really the same as watching porn because you do not let the world know what porn you watch and which porn stars you prefer.