My UMC teen works every morning and is in the gym or weight room every afternoon working on his sport. It's cool to see the other kids that are there every day --- he's made friends with kids from a bunch of different high schools who go to the same gym every day, and they have no idea where each other vacation.

You might talk with your kids about REALITY. Everyone's lives look perfect on FB, even if their fabulous trip was really just a one-day outing. They aren't going to post the weeks they spent at home watching TV.

Anonymous wrote:I worry about this as a middle class family in Arlington and it’s one of the reasons we didn’t look at houses in Bethesda or McLean. I want my kids to be in the middle and insulated somewhat from extreme wealth. My husband grew up in a commuting suburb of NYC and kids at his school had parents who were Goldman partners and F500 C-levels. His dad was a senior exec, but not at a hedge fund or large bank. He says he totally knew how much money other kids had but it never bothered him. Hopefully my kids feel the same growing up in a place where they are solidly in the middle.

Seriously? All of the neighborhoods around us in N Arlington have a median SFH price of over a million. Our neighborhood's median average is $1.3 and all of the new builds are selling for over $2 million. Where of you live in Arlington? Yorktown and feeders into WL have extremely wealthy kids. Many of my friends kids attend Sidwell, St. Albans Georgetown Day, Potomac School, etc.

We are in N. Arlington and have a HHI ,but are trying to shield our kids so that don't grow up entitled and spoiled. Nobody in our neighborhood mows their own tiny lots or does any household chores. They source out everything. We have our teen boys doing those type of chores. Even though we can afford all of the things their friends have, we don't buy them the $300 sneakers or the iPhone X, etc. I think that's BS to give a tween/teen with them not having to work for it. And, getting good grades is a given, not something we pay them for.

I didn't have time to worry about what everyone else was doing during the summer when I was a teen. I was working 40-60 hours a week (80 the summer before my senior year) because I desperately wanted my own car senior year and knew my parents weren't going to buy me one.

I worry about this as a middle class family in Arlington and it’s one of the reasons we didn’t look at houses in Bethesda or McLean. I want my kids to be in the middle and insulated somewhat from extreme wealth. My husband grew up in a commuting suburb of NYC and kids at his school had parents who were Goldman partners and F500 C-levels. His dad was a senior exec, but not at a hedge fund or large bank. He says he totally knew how much money other kids had but it never bothered him. Hopefully my kids feel the same growing up in a place where they are solidly in the middle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you believe that people care more than they actually do. Kids are busy having their own fun not moping around about your summer or whatever $$$$ trip you are taking.

This. I grew up UMC (by DCUM standards...in reality, we were rich -- mom stayed home, dad a biglaw partner, house in a W-school cluster), but my parents didn't like international travel, so our vacations were always road trips to ballparks/amusement parts within a few surrounding states. It wasn't until I was much older, like into my 20s, that it occurred to me that people might find our vacations "low class" and "trashy." It never even occurred to me that our vacation was less interesting or exciting than the international jaunts my friends were taking.

I think the difference is you weren't tortured by snapchat & instagram like my teen. She has FOMO all the time and social media makes it worse. She can't disengage from it because that's how all her friends communicate.

Exactly. I had no idea what my classmates were up to during the summer, but my kids know just how many fabulous trips their friends and classmates are on.

My teen DS just rolls his eyes at it, but my tween DD is affected. She doesn't understand why we aren't constantly on vacation or running around seemingly every night going to festivals, carnivals, fireworks, etc.

It's the same at winter break. Besides the trips skiing or to the islands, my kids are seeing photos of mounds and mounds of Christmas gifts surrounding a tree and then photos of the fabulous gifts these kids are getting. Our Christmas is much more modest and I've told my kids that I don't want to see them posting anything that shows off gifts.

We’re lower MC. My kids did/do more each summer than the W-feeder school kids that I teach. Most of them go to the pool almost every day or soccer camp all summer with 1 family trip. Mine do no less than 6 different camps and travel with extended family as well as 1 trip with us. It takes research and scholarships, but they are never bored.

I worked at a country club growing up, plus I often House-sat for the members. So I was frequently in their homes looking at photos of their trips to Greece and New Zealand in full display in their house, plus I knew which exotic location they were visiting while I watered their plants and fed their cats. Was I jealous? A little. But over the years I heard stories of their dysfunctional families and depressed teens who seemed to have everything they could ever want. Hopefully my kids will see that reality isn’t always what we see in photos sooner than I did.

I work for a program that serves low-income teens. They work, go to the beach, hang out with friends, go to the mall, visit family-many on international trips back to the family's home country. I live in an area with tons of youth development orgs, so there are all kinds of free or sliding scale activities for teens-they seem pretty happy and busy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you believe that people care more than they actually do. Kids are busy having their own fun not moping around about your summer or whatever $$$$ trip you are taking.

This. I grew up UMC (by DCUM standards...in reality, we were rich -- mom stayed home, dad a biglaw partner, house in a W-school cluster), but my parents didn't like international travel, so our vacations were always road trips to ballparks/amusement parts within a few surrounding states. It wasn't until I was much older, like into my 20s, that it occurred to me that people might find our vacations "low class" and "trashy." It never even occurred to me that our vacation was less interesting or exciting than the international jaunts my friends were taking.

I think the difference is you weren't tortured by snapchat & instagram like my teen. She has FOMO all the time and social media makes it worse. She can't disengage from it because that's how all her friends communicate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked and had fun with my friends growing up---and we tended to be more UMC. People took one family vacation in the summer 1-2 weeks max in my HS.

Hard work and fun. I earned a ton of $ and learned the value of WORK. I have great memories of those lazy summers at the pool---and sneaking in/hopping the fence at night with friends. Listening to good music, going to Merrifield and Wolftrap for concerts---being home alone with my older siblings and funny memories of crazy fights over the TV.

I think back on that time a lot and how carefree and fun it was....

Yep. And everyone reached an age where they HATED family vacations. Most teens wanted to be at home with the friends vs with their parents looking at ruins and museums in Europe or having to be away from their boyfriend/girlfriend and friends in the summer.

Late HS was when most parents in our neighborhood were fed up with mopy teens on vacations and started going alone....HOUSE PARTIES!!! My Fairfax Co neighborhood used to have epic teen parties just like the ones in Sixteen Candles, pretty in pink and such. Kids would collect $ for the keg at the door, there were often neighborhood bands performing. Now that sh*t was fun for a teen!!!!!!!

The clean-up before the parents got home was classic----and having everyone park on a different street so as not to get caught. My popular older brother had a rule that we could never host our house....but we sure hit a bunch at other people's homes. There was one almost every weekend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you believe that people care more than they actually do. Kids are busy having their own fun not moping around about your summer or whatever $$$$ trip you are taking.

This. I grew up UMC (by DCUM standards...in reality, we were rich -- mom stayed home, dad a biglaw partner, house in a W-school cluster), but my parents didn't like international travel, so our vacations were always road trips to ballparks/amusement parts within a few surrounding states. It wasn't until I was much older, like into my 20s, that it occurred to me that people might find our vacations "low class" and "trashy." It never even occurred to me that our vacation was less interesting or exciting than the international jaunts my friends were taking.

What is W-school?

MCPS reference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked and had fun with my friends growing up---and we tended to be more UMC. People took one family vacation in the summer 1-2 weeks max in my HS.

Hard work and fun. I earned a ton of $ and learned the value of WORK. I have great memories of those lazy summers at the pool---and sneaking in/hopping the fence at night with friends. Listening to good music, going to Merrifield and Wolftrap for concerts---being home alone with my older siblings and funny memories of crazy fights over the TV.

I think back on that time a lot and how carefree and fun it was....

Yep. And everyone reached an age where they HATED family vacations. Most teens wanted to be at home with the friends vs with their parents looking at ruins and museums in Europe or having to be away from their boyfriend/girlfriend and friends in the summer.

Late HS was when most parents in our neighborhood were fed up with mopy teens on vacations and started going alone....HOUSE PARTIES!!! My Fairfax Co neighborhood used to have epic teen parties just like the ones in Sixteen Candles, pretty in pink and such. Kids would collect $ for the keg at the door, there were often neighborhood bands performing. Now that sh*t was fun for a teen!!!!!!!

Anonymous wrote:I worked and had fun with my friends growing up---and we tended to be more UMC. People took one family vacation in the summer 1-2 weeks max in my HS.

Hard work and fun. I earned a ton of $ and learned the value of WORK. I have great memories of those lazy summers at the pool---and sneaking in/hopping the fence at night with friends. Listening to good music, going to Merrifield and Wolftrap for concerts---being home alone with my older siblings and funny memories of crazy fights over the TV.

I think back on that time a lot and how carefree and fun it was....

Yep. And everyone reached an age where they HATED family vacations. Most teens wanted to be at home with the friends vs with their parents looking at ruins and museums in Europe or having to be away from their boyfriend/girlfriend and friends in the summer.

I worked and had fun with my friends growing up---and we tended to be more UMC. People took one family vacation in the summer 1-2 weeks max in my HS.

Hard work and fun. I earned a ton of $ and learned the value of WORK. I have great memories of those lazy summers at the pool---and sneaking in/hopping the fence at night with friends. Listening to good music, going to Merrifield and Wolftrap for concerts---being home alone with my older siblings and funny memories of crazy fights over the TV.

I think back on that time a lot and how carefree and fun it was....