Anonymous wrote:I'm baffled by the idea that a 19yo didn't bring his own sunscreen, but instead waited for his friend's mommy to provide it.

Sounds like the Op has set the precedent of bringing sun screen/cooler/chairs/towels for everyone. Op isn't bothered that the kid is using her sunscreen, she's bothered that the kid emptied a full bottle of sunscreen, leaving nothing for anyone else.

Solution: Get sunscreen spray. Have the boys spray each other on the deck before heading down to the beach.

Anonymous wrote:I'm baffled by the idea that a 19yo didn't bring his own sunscreen, but instead waited for his friend's mommy to provide it.

Do you know many college aged boys? He probably would've just done without.

OP you're being way too nice. If I noticed him eating all the snacks, I'd remind him that they are for everyone and that he needs to slow down or replace them. If we went out to eat, I'd expect him to pay for his meal at 19. And if he showed himself to be reasonable, I'd probably offer to pay at the end of the meal once or twice. Once I was in college, I paid for my meals out even if I was home with my family, unless my dad offered.

I wouldn't hold it against him. Some people received no home training, and at 19 he's learning. But I would definitely let him know what is unacceptable around me.

I swear we had a post exactly like this last summer (maybe not on this exact board, though). What struck a memory for me was when OP mentioned the pizza place because last year people replied to the OP of that thread with "who goes to the beach to eat pizza?!" and then it crumbled into a debate on what's eaten at the beach blah blah.

Anyone else remember this post? If not, OP your post is crazy similar.

I'm baffled by the idea that a 19yo didn't bring his own sunscreen, but instead waited for his friend's mommy to provide it.

Anonymous wrote:Get over your fixation with food. Or tell me a real reason not to like him.

Look for the reasons your son is friends with him, and focus on that. Perhaps he's a nice guy?

Go out and buy some cheap cookies.

+1 Stop trying to control what your invited guest is eating. Control what you are providing and how you are reacting to him.

Yikes, this is a college sophomore? Dude needs to act his age.

Did you not come out with an agreed plan with the kid's parents (I assume he still lives with them) about food, payment, cost of activities, etc?
If not. You set yourself up and gave the impression you're fine with taking care of everything.

He sounds socially awkward too- how did you not know any of this Op??? Why are you surprised? Families usually invite kids' friends if they know them really well not some acquaintance.

The food/eating helps satiate his insecurity. He has no ability to forward think and consider the monetary price of what that means. I'm guessing he lives with his parents who are enablers?

Get over your fixation with food. Or tell me a real reason not to like him.

Look for the reasons your son is friends with him, and focus on that. Perhaps he's a nice guy?

Go out and buy some cheap cookies.

Anonymous wrote:i don't blame the boy. i blame your son for inviting him and you for not saying "no".

This kid must have some redeeming qualities or Op's son wouldn't want him along.

Anonymous wrote:I think that you need to think about why your child is friends with a person like this. What good qualities does your son see in him?

I dunno. He sounds like a teenage boy that likes to eat a lot which is not that unusual.

Are the other two boys pitching in w/o being asked? Do they say anything when this kid wolfs down all the snacks leaving nothing for anyone else?

What happens when you serve a platter of sausage and scrambled eggs and this kid helps himself to 3/4 of the food, leaving very little for the other boys? What do they say to him? Usually kids are pretty direct with each other.

i don't blame the boy. i blame your son for inviting him and you for not saying "no".

I think that you need to think about why your child is friends with a person like this. What good qualities does your son see in him?

God he's 19?!? I would tell him he can't eat all the cookies and that he needs to save food for others. Also give him orders if you need things done. "Carry the cooler down please".

I have quite a few friends whose husbands are lazy like this and it's hard to vacation with them or have them as house guests. Not gluttons though wihtnfood.