Anonymous wrote:Only if they complain about it. Then I'm like, wtf did you think was going to happen when you married the guy with no real career prospects.

Yeah, or try desperately to change their spouses. I know someone who came from money and married a cop and spent all of her time trying to get him to go to law school. It was a LOT of pressure. Marriage lasted about 2 years.

OP isn't referring to good providers. It sounds like the schoolteacher mentioned in this thread is a good provider. OP wants a rich guy.

Only if they complain about it. Then I'm like, wtf did you think was going to happen when you married the guy with no real career prospects.

Anonymous wrote:I look down on women who look at their husbands as providers.

Yup. Stay at home, work, whatever--different arrangements work for different families. But if it even occurs to you to look down on women who didn't marry "good providers," I have pretty much no use for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also how much should a man earn in order to be considered a "good provider?"

100k?150k+?

I don't define "good provider" as a paycheck.

yes there is a bar of income to be had, but being a good partner, present father, take care of the house, man of the house with the family schedule provides much more to the children, me and him.

Exactly.

I get seriously annoyed (I wouldn't say look down, but it annoys the hell out of me) by women who marry predictable assholes who have zero interest in their children.

I have a friend of mine like this. It was clear that this guy was going to be a selfish asshole, and she married him anyway.

When she starts whining about how he does not value spending any time with his kids, about how is is 50% asshole, I just make up an excuse and end the conversation.

And no, he is not rich, and she makes a pretty good living.

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t we don’t this here, with the exact same verbiage?

I married a good “provider”, but mostly I became a good “provider” for myself.

I think women obsessed with providers are vapid creatures not worth the tilt of my watch to tell them the time of day. You couldn’t offer me all the days in their private pool or country club to convince me their lives are somehow better spent.

I DO look down on people who think that everyone who is a member at a private pool or country club is vapid and looks to their husband to provide for them.

I look down on women who look at their husbands as providers.

I don't know much about the ins/outs of my women friends' marriages but the things I would feel sad about is if one of them married an absentee husband/father, workaholic spouse, abusive spouse, or very immature spouse. None of those types can provide or raise a family. I also feel bad about any woman whose husband thinks his income is all he needs to contribute to his family. That is sad.

Do I look down on the woman? No, I feel sad for them.

I read the question and thought we'd gone back in time to the 1950s. I married someone who is equal to me. That is the dynamic I want. Society doesn't value the most worthwhile contributions with the highest salaries, so you may not marry the best person if you make decisions based only on income.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but I do have an instinctual aversion to women who talk about men as "providers."

Same. It's gross.

Agree.

Anonymous wrote:Also how much should a man earn in order to be considered a "good provider?"

100k?150k+?

I don't define "good provider" as a paycheck.

yes there is a bar of income to be had, but being a good partner, present father, take care of the house, man of the house with the family schedule provides much more to the children, me and him.

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely NOT. Whatever works for them works for them. It's none of my business.

Being a good provider also doesn't equal a set dollar amount. A spouse who makes $60K but is an active parent is a better provider than a spouse who makes $200K but is never around. Providing for children is more than financial.

Absolutely this.

No, but I think men who are threatened by women who make more than them are insecure weenies.

Absolutely NOT. Whatever works for them works for them. It's none of my business.

Being a good provider also doesn't equal a set dollar amount. A spouse who makes $60K but is an active parent is a better provider than a spouse who makes $200K but is never around. Providing for children is more than financial.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but I do have an instinctual aversion to women who talk about men as "providers."

Yup, this.

Same. My good friend's husband is a teacher. He loves what he does and is great at it. He is a supportive and involved husband and father. He's stable, present, kind, funny, smart, etc. They're great together. I don't look down on him at ALL because of how much he earns. He earns an honest living.

Good luck to him.

Why does he need luck? He's been a teacher for like 20 years.