We've been married a long time and on only a few occasions has DH gotten really drunk and I let him know how upset I was. It's been years since he's been drunk but even now I don't like it when he's had a bit too much to drink.

Anonymous wrote:I'd expect a lot of gender variation on this -- mostly because drunk women are often more fun about sex.

Man here. The only times in my life I've ever turned down propositions is when GFs are drunk and I'm sober. Now, if I shared the bottle with them that would be another matter, but drunks just don't appeal to most sober people.

Mine is always fun in bed after boys nights so I kinda like it.

I've never seen DH drunk. Just happy/buzzed. But I met him when he was in law school and I think by that point he'd finished all his hard drinking and found the limits he wanted to have. I am totally turned off by anyone sloppy-drunk.

Anonymous wrote:DH here. My trick is to come home after DW is asleep, which is easy since she usually goes to sleep by 10pm. I keep my pajamas downstairs and sleep on the couch (I snore a lot when drunk), so by morning I'm sober and she won't have encountered my drunken self anyway.

That's thoughtful.

I abhor drunk DH. He acts like an even bigger ass than usual and his normally thinly veiled resentments come pouring out. The next day he is always short tempered and usually takes it out on the kids (because I don't engage). I am planning my exit strategy but it will likely be a few years.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This wasn't even about "doing it" ... there was no chance of that. This was about me not wanting to even be in the same room as him.

As long as it's not a lot or passing out drunk you need to lighten up. Plus he's not driving so what's the problem. I can think of worse things that men do!

Only if it makes her frisky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, I loathe my drunk husband. He isn't nasty or anything (thank god, not an angry drunk) but he's a lightweight and he very quickly just gets sloppy and stupid. And he can easily get to the point of throwing up - which I have zero respect for in a man in his mid-40s.

It's one of our biggest marital issues (and was an issue while dating also.)

He thinks I'm uptight and weird about it because I come from a long line of alcoholics and addicts - and there is some validity in that.

Serious question - why marry him then? I go out with friends who have that exact same marriage and the wife is always miserable about 30 minutes into the festivities because he's practically passed out in the planters.

Fair question. Sometimes I think I shouldn't have. IMO he drinks too much and too frequently and gets waaay too drunk (while thinking that is totally fine and no big deal). But if he married someone who wasn't bothered by it, found him cute or funny when drunk, or has a different attitude towards frequency of these behaviors then he'd be fine. So we're not well suited on this issue. We're also not well suited on a couple of other critical issues.

However, we are committed to making our relationship work (and therefore try to meet each other more than halfway on challenging issues) because we're extremely well-suited in terms of morals, values, goals for a family, financial management and stability, communication skills, trust, sense of humor, approach to family/friends/social life, shared significant hobby (which is how we met), etc... We each have compromised significantly on the drinking issue so it flares up between us as a source of tension perhaps once or twice a year and we both seem able/willing to live with that.

DH here. My trick is to come home after DW is asleep, which is easy since she usually goes to sleep by 10pm. I keep my pajamas downstairs and sleep on the couch (I snore a lot when drunk), so by morning I'm sober and she won't have encountered my drunken self anyway.

I love drunk DH, he's warm and handsy and affectionate and chatty. He is like that not drunk (although he's not chatty at all so that is a bonus) but he is just fun when tipsy.

I will say that it doesn't happen that often so its kind of just a nice interlude, I'm not dealing with a drunk person every night.

Anonymous wrote:Nope, I loathe my drunk husband. He isn't nasty or anything (thank god, not an angry drunk) but he's a lightweight and he very quickly just gets sloppy and stupid. And he can easily get to the point of throwing up - which I have zero respect for in a man in his mid-40s.

It's one of our biggest marital issues (and was an issue while dating also.)

He thinks I'm uptight and weird about it because I come from a long line of alcoholics and addicts - and there is some validity in that.

Serious question - why marry him then? I go out with friends who have that exact same marriage and the wife is always miserable about 30 minutes into the festivities because he's practically passed out in the planters.

At least you don't have a spouse that gets sloppy drunk at the table while you're sitting right there. I feel so embarrassed for several of my friends.

Ha. My husband occasionally comes home buzzed/little drunk. I don't mind but I find it annoying as he thinks he is so cute and charming...when really I'm like "let me read my book or sleep!".

OP here. This wasn't even about "doing it" ... there was no chance of that. This was about me not wanting to even be in the same room as him.