Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 05:54     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
These posts baffle me. What's so hard about helping out around the house, either as a man, woman, SAHM, SAHD, WOHM, or a WOHD? I hate cooking, my husband loves it. He cooks, I clean up. I like laundry, so I do it. Your wife asked you to two small tasks and you can't be bothered? Come on. I am home all day (work at home PT--real job not MLM) and while I do most of the chores/kid stuff, my DH pitches in and does things too. It's your home too.

Frankly I can't blame her for striking.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 05:30     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
It sounds like your wife feels underappreciated. Deal with that feeling. Take her out to dinner. Order dinner in. Make dinner for her. Do SOMETHING to show you care about her feelings. This is not about who is doing more work. It's about caring.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 04:38     Subject: Re:Wife went on a cooking strike
I am a SAHM. We have a house cleaner who comes once a month to clean bathrooms, mop the floors, etc. I do all the cooking, but when i’m tired, we get take out or have a frozen pizza or something. My husband occasionally loads the dishwasher, but usually only if I ask him to. My husband knew I wasn’t going to clean the house when he married me, although I do basic things like put toys away, laundry, etc.

Your wife is just sick of doing everything. So get her some outside help. And try to pitch in once in a while.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 03:55     Subject: Re:Wife went on a cooking strike
Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM. DH works and works long hours.

I run the house and this includes all the cooking and overseeing the cleaning and laundry. Not to mention the bulk of child rearing. And I keep a clean and organized house. It's not difficult. Even when the kids were toddlers. And it's fair enough.

OP, I would tell your wife that if she doesn't want to cook then that's fine, but we're going to be getting takeaway/eating out all the time now and that's going to have to come out of the household budget and other activities would need to be sacrificed to pay for it. As your wife what her priorities are.
The wife is a SAHM with one child. The husband provides and she takes care of the household. That’s the way it has been for years. What is the rationale for wanting to change the agreement now? Is she home schooling the kid? Is she taking classes or wants to get back to work? Unless something has changed I am totally with OP. Working mother of 3

Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 02:56     Subject: Re:Wife went on a cooking strike
I am a SAHM. DH works and works long hours.

I run the house and this includes all the cooking and overseeing the cleaning and laundry. Not to mention the bulk of child rearing. And I keep a clean and organized house. It's not difficult. Even when the kids were toddlers. And it's fair enough.

OP, I would tell your wife that if she doesn't want to cook then that's fine, but we're going to be getting takeaway/eating out all the time now and that's going to have to come out of the household budget and other activities would need to be sacrificed to pay for it. As your wife what her priorities are.

Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 02:40     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
Troll.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 02:39     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
I think your wife has reached her threshold on keeping the home fires burning.

Yes, you work & financially support the family.
And in return your wife cares for the child + the home.

But she shouldn’t have to do ALL the meal planning, shopping, cooking, dishes, laundry, scrubbing the bathroom, etc.

You should help out on your day(s) off.
As an adult, you cannot be expected to have all of your domestic duties done for you.

Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 01:45     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I went on a cooking strike years ago. My husband knows to call and ask what he should get for carry out if I'm hungry. Yes, you should help out a bit and pick up. I hate waking up on weekends and kids and husband have destroyed the house. Yes, I leave it and tell him to clean it up. I do his laundry but if he pissed me off I'd stop. He knows better. Hire her a housekeeper if you don't want to help.


What is the point of the housekeeper if she is literally staying at home all day? It's part of her job to keep a tidy house and prepare meals. Is their child being denied nutrition as well?
Do you do your job 24x7 or do you do it from 8-5 with clearly defined hours after which you leave and go home? Your wife deserves a break too. Staying home isn't that easy and it's not for everyone. Maybe your wife would be happier working part time so she's not cooped up in the house cleaning all day, every day? That would drive anyone insane, especially if the people making the messes aren't helping to clean them.


If she would happier she's free to get a part-time job. No one is forcing her to stay home. But if she wants to stay home as her contribution to the 'partnership' then she needs to cook, clean, and watch the kid.

To the person above who asked about a 9 - 5, its more like 7 - 6 with the commute time but yes I'm expected to put in a 40+ hour work week. I'd expect the same of a spouse who is at home regardless of if the child is napping or at part-time daycare or playing with toys. Anything that falls in that household parameter should be done.


Wow, I'll join the chorus that sings that you are an ass. Boohoohoo with your self-important "40+" hours and adding the commute to your 9 to 5 calculation. You have a normal job, and are expected to not treat your home as an all-inclusive resort. Your wife is not your slave.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 01:30     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
Anonymous wrote:If I was OP's wife, I would leave the kid at home on Saturday and fly to Bermuda for a couple of weeks.


That sounds like a nice plan. My husband would gladly pay for me to go and be happy to take off ... too bad OP isn't decent like mine is.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 01:27     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
If I was OP's wife, I would leave the kid at home on Saturday and fly to Bermuda for a couple of weeks.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 00:56     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hire cleaning lady who will cook dinner. Put wife's things out on sidewalk. Done.


Find out how much a full time nanny + house cleaner who does laundry + cook will cost you first.

Your wife is going to leave you. She doesn't need another baby - a big, ugly old baby who treats her with little respect - to take care of.


I'm PP. I doubt the wife will leave the kids, so all OP needs is a cleaner who does laundry once/ week and can cook enough meals for a week.


You think that doesn't equal the same as a babysitters salary? That would be very expensive.


I didn't give it that much thought/ don't really care. It might be worth it to OP, though.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 00:49     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hire cleaning lady who will cook dinner. Put wife's things out on sidewalk. Done.


Find out how much a full time nanny + house cleaner who does laundry + cook will cost you first.

Your wife is going to leave you. She doesn't need another baby - a big, ugly old baby who treats her with little respect - to take care of.


I'm PP. I doubt the wife will leave the kids, so all OP needs is a cleaner who does laundry once/ week and can cook enough meals for a week.


OP said they have 1 kid. It much easier to leave a marriage when there is only 1 child.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 00:48     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hire cleaning lady who will cook dinner. Put wife's things out on sidewalk. Done.


Find out how much a full time nanny + house cleaner who does laundry + cook will cost you first.

Your wife is going to leave you. She doesn't need another baby - a big, ugly old baby who treats her with little respect - to take care of.


I'm PP. I doubt the wife will leave the kids, so all OP needs is a cleaner who does laundry once/ week and can cook enough meals for a week.


You think that doesn't equal the same as a babysitters salary? That would be very expensive.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 00:37     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hire cleaning lady who will cook dinner. Put wife's things out on sidewalk. Done.


Find out how much a full time nanny + house cleaner who does laundry + cook will cost you first.

Your wife is going to leave you. She doesn't need another baby - a big, ugly old baby who treats her with little respect - to take care of.


I'm PP. I doubt the wife will leave the kids, so all OP needs is a cleaner who does laundry once/ week and can cook enough meals for a week.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2018 00:29     Subject: Wife went on a cooking strike
Anonymous wrote:Hire cleaning lady who will cook dinner. Put wife's things out on sidewalk. Done.


Find out how much a full time nanny + house cleaner who does laundry + cook will cost you first.

Your wife is going to leave you. She doesn't need another baby - a big, ugly old baby who treats her with little respect - to take care of.