Our HS soccer coach was a lesbian that hit on and went out with the players. The half of the team that didn’t identify as gay were treated shitty and got less playing time. It’s not just the men abusing.

But —Penn State football, OSU wrestling, gymnastics—-predators look for jobs around children. It makes it harder for the decent people.

My relatives that teach and coach make sure they are never alone with a kida.

One of my teammates was molested at a sleepaway soccer camp. I don’t send my kids to those things. There are plenty of great soccer day camps.

Previous post is about the volleyball coach.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/chicago.suntimes.com/news/volleyball-coach-rick-butler-hit-with-class-action-lawsuit-over-sex-abuse-claims/amp/

Top Club Volleyball coach:https://www.google.com/amp/s/chicago.suntimes.com/news/volleyball-coach-rick-butler-hit-with-class-action-lawsuit-over-sex-abuse-claims/amp/

And...the equestrian coach: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2018/05/29/sports/jimmy-williams-flintridge.amp.html

Wow, that is an excellent article - both as a description of the influence coaches and other adults have over young people and as a moving sharing of abuse. Thank you.

If you read the article, you’ll see she does acknowledge and thank those coaches who offered a positive influence in her life. Not everyone is a bad guy.

That said, unfortunately there are a shocking number of offenders and many also who turn a blind eye. There was news recently about a highly regarded equestrian coach in CA and now a top volleyball club coach has been accused of abuse. In his case, he had been accused, banned from national volleyball associations and somehow reinstated.

Volleyball accusation: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.lansingstatejournal.com/amp/545161002

Of course this doesn’t just happen in sports - Famed classical music comductor James Levine was also recently accused by several young students.

I do think most people who work with young people have good intentions - but you really must not be blind to the possibilities and keep communication open with your children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people are busy but there are parents on our kids teams that when they can't give them a ride or go to an out of town game the first person they call is the coach. Fortunately, he sends the request out to the team and has stated several times he is the coach not the carpool coordinator but has also said the beginning of the season meetings that he needs a parent at least one parent for the team at every practice, no players can text or email him, no following on social media, and that his job is the coach, not the hotel room coordinator, not the meals coordinator, that is for the team manager to arrange. He is very upfront about the perception of coaches and kids etc and talks very openly about it with the parents at the meeting.

This is by far the best run team we have ever been on but there is still 1 or 2 parents who are fine with putting their kids in situations on other teams.

Interesting because so many people want kids to be more independent and communicate with the coach directly. Makes sense that this coach says no texting him directly. Shit's scary. I remember when I coached my wife did not allow me to give players rides home or be alone with anyone.

I can see why your wife would make that choice.

That said, my son's coach drives kids all the time. So do I. When your team has low-income kids, there aren't always ways to get them to the games without driving them and parents just don't step up like they should to help.

Anonymous wrote:I know people are busy but there are parents on our kids teams that when they can't give them a ride or go to an out of town game the first person they call is the coach. Fortunately, he sends the request out to the team and has stated several times he is the coach not the carpool coordinator but has also said the beginning of the season meetings that he needs a parent at least one parent for the team at every practice, no players can text or email him, no following on social media, and that his job is the coach, not the hotel room coordinator, not the meals coordinator, that is for the team manager to arrange. He is very upfront about the perception of coaches and kids etc and talks very openly about it with the parents at the meeting.

This is by far the best run team we have ever been on but there is still 1 or 2 parents who are fine with putting their kids in situations on other teams.

Interesting because so many people want kids to be more independent and communicate with the coach directly. Makes sense that this coach says no texting him directly. Shit's scary. I remember when I coached my wife did not allow me to give players rides home or be alone with anyone.

I didn’t play soccer, but I was friends with the soccer coach at my high school because we listened to a lot of the same music. He’d buy me stickers & merch from shows that he went to. During my Senior year it came out that he had been filming the girls on the soccer team while they were changing. There was also a male teacher at my school who had been hooking up with students.

I have a feeling this sort of thing is way, way more common than we think.

I know people are busy but there are parents on our kids teams that when they can't give them a ride or go to an out of town game the first person they call is the coach. Fortunately, he sends the request out to the team and has stated several times he is the coach not the carpool coordinator but has also said the beginning of the season meetings that he needs a parent at least one parent for the team at every practice, no players can text or email him, no following on social media, and that his job is the coach, not the hotel room coordinator, not the meals coordinator, that is for the team manager to arrange. He is very upfront about the perception of coaches and kids etc and talks very openly about it with the parents at the meeting.

This is by far the best run team we have ever been on but there is still 1 or 2 parents who are fine with putting their kids in situations on other teams.

A coach that was sexting and grooming 11-12 year olds on my DD’s high level Washington Spirit soccer team. He was fired but was he criminally charged? I doubt it as the parents were still having him give private lessons to their daughters. The parent manager of the team said that she thought that the coach was ‘just having a bad day’ or a ‘bad time in his life’ but that he ‘didn’t mean it’. And so the abuse continues. Wake up parents!!!! It’s your job to protect your kids.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 48 year old woman. I was a competitive soccer player. When we traveled from 12-18, we stayed with host families. Our parents would drop us off in other States/cities and a stranger family would host two teammates per household for a weekend. This is how travel soccer was in the 79s/80s. When it was a local tournament, we housed out of town players.

I’m lucky I was never molested. I found out years later 2 teammates were on one of those trips by a host dad.

Yes, it’s true! I forgot about that part of it.

Disgusting.

I’m a 48 year old woman. I was a competitive soccer player. When we traveled from 12-18, we stayed with host families. Our parents would drop us off in other States/cities and a stranger family would host two teammates per household for a weekend. This is how travel soccer was in the 79s/80s. When it was a local tournament, we housed out of town players.

I’m lucky I was never molested. I found out years later 2 teammates were on one of those trips by a host dad.