Robin on Real Housewives of Potomac does this with her ex Juan. He’s seeing other people. It’s a weird and sad situation IMO, and I sure wouldn’t do it. But they both want to be there to raise their kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are all women who get alimony greedy idiots?

From what I have observed, yes.

I got alimony because I was on maternity leave with a failure to thrive baby. I didn’t make any profit as it just covered basic household expenses. Plus, it was almost always paid late. As soon as our baby was well enough for daycare, I went back to work. The alternative was welfare. Why should tax payers cover what my ex should have?

Anonymous wrote:Are all women who get alimony greedy idiots?

From what I have observed, yes.

Do the thing where you each get a studio apt and switch off who lives in the kids' home.

Are all women who get alimony greedy idiots?

Trying this since Nov. Separate living quarters in basement. Separate finances. Some joint family stuff on weekends at our discretion. We split childcare evenly and extend help if one parent is sick or traveling.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you are approaching this as a business decision. It's not.

Exactly ! Marriage should not be a business decision. This would remove the $ from the decision. Though I’m sure the legal industrial complex wouldn’t like that.

Me and my ex did it for a few years following our divorce and we were fine. I prefered him as my ex and we were less stressed. We behaved like a married couple though, just minus the title

I heard it working but the parents have a home elsewhere. Either a 2bd apt they share, or 2 1bd apts. So they never live in the house together. The kids stay in the house with one parent on their Days.

Anonymous wrote:Another vote for counseling first. Many couples struggle in the toddler years, it gets better I promise.

This was the case for us as well but even if it doesn't get better a good counselor can help you divorce more peacefully

Another vote for counseling first. Many couples struggle in the toddler years, it gets better I promise.

There will be no alimony required.

I know someone doing this now. There is 40 year age difference so it was doomed from the start. They have a 5 an 3yo.
He is living in the basement but I think they do meals together sometimes, they are trying to coparent their kids. She wants to continue like this for now because she is in school and wants to finish. She will be financially independent in about 3 years and then one of them will move out.

My DH’s best friend growing up had parents who did this. They lived in the same house and didn’t speak. It was HORRIBLE. None of the kids have any clue what a good relationship is supposed to look like and they are seriously emotionally damaged from growing up in a toxic environment.

You would be better off living in separate residences in the same neighbourhood and giving your kids some closure.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you are approaching this as a business decision. It's not.

NP. In a lot of ways it is. My accountant told me that divorce is one of the biggest business decisions of anyone's life. For me it certainly was.

OP I agree you won't have to pay alimony.

If you decide to try in house separation be as comprehensive as possible in agreeing to the arrangement. Re-evaluate at least every 6 months.

Divorce and the rejection it involves can seriously affect people.

As lawyers say, criminal law is bad people at their best and family/divorce law is good people at their worst.