Anonymous wrote:As for letting parents pay... my dad earns roughly ten times what we do every year. He can pay for all sorts of things we can't, and he likes spending time with us on his terms. I don't know why it bothers some of you so much to let a parent pay.

We were taken to Europe, but at a place we didn't like, on the kind of trip we don't enjoy, and completely out of budget. He was happy because we joined him. We were happy because we made him happy and could still afford braces. What could possibly be the problem here?


OP, would you be willing to pay for a trip that fit you all better? Or is there no trip that works for everyone's budget? I wouldn't pay for a Disney cruise, either.

I'm a mom of adults. Sounds like many posters work plus have kids yet parents/IL's act like all are retired with nothing else to do. And are dictating how to spend their adult children's disposable income plus allocate scarce vacation time. One of my DC's has pressure for lengthy vacation etc plus frequent dinners. Intrusive. I would offer a 4 day weekend full payment for them as parents of tots including airfare, hotel, etc to a nice Disneyworld resort. Beachclub. Us in our own room and no-nag/tag a long days. This spring paid for a vacation of one DC+partner choice and never thought once about us going also. Different category than seeing cute little grandchildren at Disney, beach, Williamsburg, etc.

My inlaws offered to take us on a cruise over spring break. I wasn’t thrilled, but agreed to go along with it. Turns out, their offer to pay for it only included the actual cabins. We paid for flights, hotel prior, excursions, drinks, and mandatory gratuities, etc. Cost us a few grand that we had not anticipated. And a week of vacation I would have preferred to spend elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:As for letting parents pay... my dad earns roughly ten times what we do every year. He can pay for all sorts of things we can't, and he likes spending time with us on his terms. I don't know why it bothers some of you so much to let a parent pay.

We were taken to Europe, but at a place we didn't like, on the kind of trip we don't enjoy, and completely out of budget. He was happy because we joined him. We were happy because we made him happy and could still afford braces. What could possibly be the problem here?


OP, would you be willing to pay for a trip that fit you all better? Or is there no trip that works for everyone's budget? I wouldn't pay for a Disney cruise, either.

Its asking someone else to pay that is a problem, especially for something you neither need nor really want.

As for letting parents pay... my dad earns roughly ten times what we do every year. He can pay for all sorts of things we can't, and he likes spending time with us on his terms. I don't know why it bothers some of you so much to let a parent pay.

We were taken to Europe, but at a place we didn't like, on the kind of trip we don't enjoy, and completely out of budget. He was happy because we joined him. We were happy because we made him happy and could still afford braces. What could possibly be the problem here?


OP, would you be willing to pay for a trip that fit you all better? Or is there no trip that works for everyone's budget? I wouldn't pay for a Disney cruise, either.

Anonymous wrote:A Disney cruise with my in laws sounds like the 7th circle of hell.

I would end up throwing myself overboard.

Anonymous wrote:I'd just say that we have been saving for a trip to Europe and we can't afford to do both.

But be careful. You don't want them to invite themselves along...

A Disney cruise with my in laws sounds like the 7th circle of hell.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what my parents do - say they are dying to go on a family vacation and then pick something that interests them and is often inconvenient for others, then expect us to pay (although they certainly have the money to treat us all).

In your situation, I told my parents we would love to join but are already planning a trip to London to visit friends (which was true) so unfortunately it’s not in our budget for next year. That gave them a clear opportunity to offer to pay, but they didn’t so we didn’t go.

You should try the same. Just tell them you’ve already planned/committed to something else and give them the hint.

Yes, you get it. Thanks, I’ll try that. I’m guessing we won’t go, which is fine.

NP. I would try it. In fact, I would even beef it up a little about how fun it would be for the kids. Chances are your inlaws will step up and do it. FWIW our kids loooooved doing that Disney stuff with their grandparents. The Disney cruises are a PITA but they do everything for you and it is a great way for grandparents and their grandchildren to have some fun together. An alternative is for the grandparents and grandkids to go to the resort itself and stay in one of the Concierge hotels. Our older kids are in college now and they still talk fondly and enthusiastically about those trips with their grandparents!

Just say you already have plans. If my in-laws wanted to pay I would still say no to a cruise.

I'm with you, OP. I only want to go if they're paying and/or providing lots of child care.

Agree with “It’s not in the budget.”

That gives them an in and you an out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say that it's not what you choose to spend money on right now, and that you'd rather make other vacation plans.

They'll likely offer if money isn't an issue for them.

Personally, a Disney cruise is my idea of hell, but if you'd enjoy it then you can accept their offer.

Pretty easy really.

Tacky as hell to fish around for someone else to pay for your vacation. Just decline and don't mention money

I'm the PP and I agree that it's tacky. OP didn't seem to have a problem with the idea of them paying for her vacation though. She was looking for a nice way to say this.

There is no nice way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say that it's not what you choose to spend money on right now, and that you'd rather make other vacation plans.

They'll likely offer if money isn't an issue for them.

Personally, a Disney cruise is my idea of hell, but if you'd enjoy it then you can accept their offer.

Pretty easy really.

Tacky as hell to fish around for someone else to pay for your vacation. Just decline and don't mention money

I'm the PP and I agree that it's tacky. OP didn't seem to have a problem with the idea of them paying for her vacation though. She was looking for a nice way to say this.

Anonymous wrote:Just say that it's not what you choose to spend money on right now, and that you'd rather make other vacation plans.

They'll likely offer if money isn't an issue for them.

Personally, a Disney cruise is my idea of hell, but if you'd enjoy it then you can accept their offer.

Pretty easy really.

Tacky as hell to fish around for someone else to pay for your vacation. Just decline and don't mention money

Just say that it's not what you choose to spend money on right now, and that you'd rather make other vacation plans.

They'll likely offer if money isn't an issue for them.

Personally, a Disney cruise is my idea of hell, but if you'd enjoy it then you can accept their offer.

Pretty easy really.