DH needs to be on your side. If he is an ahole, just tell him you’re on your period and don’t want to swim.

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you told your DH to knock it off, or that this bothers you??

+1 If this is the only realm in which he nags, he will probably respond well to a discussion about this irritates you. If he nags you in a bunch of things you have a larger problem on communication.

OP, have you told your DH to knock it off, or that this bothers you??

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure DH and kids aren't just asking you to come in and play with them? It is kinda lame when the mom won't ever get in the pool, even on vaca! Don't be that mom. You can get in the pool 2 times a year and enjoy your family. That's prob why DH joins in...bc he misses you.

Ugh, no. I spend plenty of time with my family, I don't need to swim with them. I hate swimming but love running, and go running with my teenage son. I can just imagine my husband's reaction if I tried bullying him into going on runs with us (he hates running) because I missed him. He'd think I was nuts. Which is what I would think about my ILs and DH if I were the OP.

You should just give it back to them.

ILs "Go in the pool. Go on, get in."

You "Not this time, but you go in."

ILs "No, we don't like to swim."

You, "Go on. Get in. It'll be great fun."

IL's "No"

You, "Oh, come on. I know the kids would love to play in the water with you. Go on."

ILs [change of subject to anything but the pool]


I bet if you keep doing that EVERY time they suggest you go in, they'll eventually stop asking because they know it would trigger you badgering them to go in.

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. That would drive me crazy. I love going to the pool, but I hate swimming. Why is that so hard for people to understand? And why is it so hard for intelligent adults to understand that you are fully capable of deciding what’s most enjoyable for yourself. Do they think that you’ve never been in a pool before and that, if it weren’t for their insistence, you’d never understand the glory of going into a pool?

I seriously don’t get why people go to the pool if they aren’t going to swim. Why not just sit outside then instead of going to a pool?

My bikini line is not waxed!

Are you sure DH and kids aren't just asking you to come in and play with them? It is kinda lame when the mom won't ever get in the pool, even on vaca! Don't be that mom. You can get in the pool 2 times a year and enjoy your family. That's prob why DH joins in...bc he misses you.

I'm like this with the beach and ocean. I hate the beach. So when I have to go, I'll smile and sit in a chair under an umbrella, but that's it. I just want as little sand on me as possible and am never going in the water.

DH and in-laws gave me grief for years. I just owned it and told them it wasn't enjoyable for me. I'm much more ok at a pool. I think after 20 years, they finally get it.

Pretend it is the mile test in PE and you have a male teacher. Tell them “female issues. No pool for me.” Husband and FIL will not ask for more details. Mother In law may launch into either period related or menapause related story telling, but then the attention is off you and the pool.

Are you overweight? If you are, maybe they think you need lots of encouragement to be able to get into the pool. Maybe they think they're helping.

I don't understand why your DH doesn't get it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the pool. I say no thank you nicely and then a sturn, “I said no thank you,” If asked again

This is what I do when people are irritating me about something. I don’t drink and have a fairly limited palate, and some people just won’t let it go. I repeat “no thank you” without elaborating until I get too annoyed, then I go stern with “I said no thank you”.

I said Good DAY, Sir. GOOD. DAY.

Willy Wonka quote. You probably look miserable with sweat pouring. Tell your dh in private that it’s annoying so he stops and so he can casually say something to his parents next time.

They probably want you in the water playing with your kids so they can just socialize with the "real" family poolside. They probably feel that they have to chat with you if you're not swimming.

Anonymous wrote:It's not so much about the water, they want to watch you play with your kids.

How would you know what they want?

It's not so much about the water, they want to watch you play with your kids.