How is your tone when you say these things? Your wife might very well have thin skin (does sound like it), but could you also be aggravating it somewhat with your tone or general demeanor? Have you tried adjusting this? Have you tried being positive and supportive as a counterbalance?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound controlling, tbh.

How, exactly?

Read back a couple of posts. Pp called it criticism. That, but in a dickish manner and he probably talks down to her, too.

So I should have let me wife drive my kids around despite the fact that she hadn't been behind the wheel in 10 years, and despite the fact she had never before driven in the USA?

A parent's first duty is to keep his or her children safe. I would never gamble with a child's life.

Now that she has experience on USA roads, I'm fine with her driving the kids around. So the "control" that I wanted to exert was solely to ensure the safety of my kids.

Your wife is a grown-ass woman. You don't "let" her do things, or not. You discuss them with her. "Honey, how much time driving solo do you think you'll need before you feel comfortable driving the kids?" versus "You can't drive the kids for two weeks." It's not about whether someone else would or would not be comfortable with it, it's about how you view and talk about things with your wife.

Given how quickly you escalated to being incredibly defensive and kind of obnoxious, I'm beginning to see the problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don’t understand, and maybe you can explain this to me, is why didn’t you say anything much earlier in the process? Like, as soon as your wife said she wanted a chair, why didn’t you look up some that you liked and email them to her? Or as soon as she said she was going to start driving again, why didn’t you schedule her some driving lessons before she started driving the kids?
Why wait until she is done to put in your $0.02?

I suggested two years ago she start driving -- with no kids in the car -- for practice. Of course, that would have required a driver's license, and somehow she didn't get around to getting one until recently. I suppose I could have insisted -- but that would be controlling, wouldn't it?

With furniture, we just got settled in a new house a few weeks ago, so we are just beginning the process of furnishing it.

I'm sure the PP above was the first person who's ever called you "controlling." Must be a real shock to hear.

Do you have kids? I take it you would be OK with putting them in a car with an inexperienced driver ... somebody who had never driven before in the USA?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don’t understand, and maybe you can explain this to me, is why didn’t you say anything much earlier in the process? Like, as soon as your wife said she wanted a chair, why didn’t you look up some that you liked and email them to her? Or as soon as she said she was going to start driving again, why didn’t you schedule her some driving lessons before she started driving the kids?
Why wait until she is done to put in your $0.02?

I suggested two years ago she start driving -- with no kids in the car -- for practice. Of course, that would have required a driver's license, and somehow she didn't get around to getting one until recently. I suppose I could have insisted -- but that would be controlling, wouldn't it?

With furniture, we just got settled in a new house a few weeks ago, so we are just beginning the process of furnishing it.

I'm sure the PP above was the first person who's ever called you "controlling." Must be a real shock to hear.

Anonymous wrote:What I don’t understand, and maybe you can explain this to me, is why didn’t you say anything much earlier in the process? Like, as soon as your wife said she wanted a chair, why didn’t you look up some that you liked and email them to her? Or as soon as she said she was going to start driving again, why didn’t you schedule her some driving lessons before she started driving the kids?
Why wait until she is done to put in your $0.02?

I suggested two years ago she start driving -- with no kids in the car -- for practice. Of course, that would have required a driver's license, and somehow she didn't get around to getting one until recently. I suppose I could have insisted -- but that would be controlling, wouldn't it?

With furniture, we just got settled in a new house a few weeks ago, so we are just beginning the process of furnishing it.

OP, most women on DCUM have thin skin. Don't you know that as a man you're not allowed to criticize women on DCUM? Where have you been?

Your wife does sound passive aggressive. However, sometimes "shopping together" consists (at least for me and my husband) of my presenting him with choices that he can naysay. This vibe gets old fast. That's why it's frustrating and that's why it's tempting to opt out.

The driving thing, I don't know. Maybe you hurt her feelings. Frankly, I would be relieved not to drive them while I was learning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound controlling, tbh.

How, exactly?

Read back a couple of posts. Pp called it criticism. That, but in a dickish manner and he probably talks down to her, too.

So I should have let me wife drive my kids around despite the fact that she hadn't been behind the wheel in 10 years, and despite the fact she had never before driven in the USA?

A parent's first duty is to keep his or her children safe. I would never gamble with a child's life.

Now that she has experience on USA roads, I'm fine with her driving the kids around. So the "control" that I wanted to exert was solely to ensure the safety of my kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound controlling, tbh.

How, exactly?

Because he doesn’t really want to go furniture shopping or he would have already scheduled a trip to go. He just doesn’t think she can be trusted to do it alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't even know why men post on this board. There's so much projecting from bitter women here. They will always turn it around to be your fault.

Look who has thin skin now .

Of course all suggestions are going to be about the OP changing his/her behavior.

Exactly. You can't change another person, but you can change yourself. Maybe she won't grow a thick skin, but he can be more sensitive in his approach to her. Assuming he loves her, that is.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't even know why men post on this board. There's so much projecting from bitter women here. They will always turn it around to be your fault.

Aaaand there are posts from desperate brown-nosing subservient women who hate other women.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't even know why men post on this board. There's so much projecting from bitter women here. They will always turn it around to be your fault.

Look who has thin skin now .

Of course all suggestions are going to be about the OP changing his/her behavior.

What I don’t understand, and maybe you can explain this to me, is why didn’t you say anything much earlier in the process? Like, as soon as your wife said she wanted a chair, why didn’t you look up some that you liked and email them to her? Or as soon as she said she was going to start driving again, why didn’t you schedule her some driving lessons before she started driving the kids?
Why wait until she is done to put in your $0.02?

OP, I don't even know why men post on this board. There's so much projecting from bitter women here. They will always turn it around to be your fault.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound controlling, tbh.

How, exactly?

Read back a couple of posts. Pp called it criticism. That, but in a dickish manner and he probably talks down to her, too.