Anonymous
Post 06/30/2018 18:52     Subject: Re:I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our families are by no means perfect but this is the one thing we have gotten super lucky with. both sides are fun to travel with so far (done several on both sides now). if it were contentious I dont see why it should be mandatory, OP is your DH in denial about the awkwardness?


No, he sees it and is even annoyed by it but he feels like they are getting older and it’s NBD to just “give them this.”


BS. Rude, callous people were always that way. Certainly not my choice to spend my limited vacation time with someone like that. They can vacation by themselves, for all I care. I don’t care if they are 100 years old, I really don’t. Here’s a concept: don’t be an ahole and maybe everyone will care to join you. Agree your DH can go by himself or with the kids. That’s what mine does, but never more than a couple days - it is all he can take. So, that tells you (and everyone present) something.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2018 09:25     Subject: Re:I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:Our families are by no means perfect but this is the one thing we have gotten super lucky with. both sides are fun to travel with so far (done several on both sides now). if it were contentious I dont see why it should be mandatory, OP is your DH in denial about the awkwardness?


No, he sees it and is even annoyed by it but he feels like they are getting older and it’s NBD to just “give them this.”
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 22:06     Subject: Re:I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Our families are by no means perfect but this is the one thing we have gotten super lucky with. both sides are fun to travel with so far (done several on both sides now). if it were contentious I dont see why it should be mandatory, OP is your DH in denial about the awkwardness?
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 21:18     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We vacation with my family every year, but we can stand them lol. We vacationed with my inlaws 2ish years ago (because they footed the bill), and we said we'd never do that again. Well we are lol. At least this time is just for 1 night, and they are again footing the bill.

DH thought I was blowing shit with his parents out of proportion, being sensitive, etc, until he was alone with them and DD twice. Then his eyes really opened to the insane people they are (so much so he almost didn't want to go on the last vacation).

We've moved the bar quite low with them, they clearly have no idea how to be around small children. They just want to see DH most of the time, not DD (who doesn't even wants. nt to see them at all).

Isn't family fun? lol


It’s so fun. My in laws invited me to the beach this year with my kids and didn’t tell me that my nieces are here too. Without their parents. Because somehow- that’s ok for them to dump their daughters here on our vacation without telling us.


Are they paying for the house? If so, it is theirs to do with as they please, and they don't owe you a full guest list. If not, you have a right to complain and say that you paid for a vacation with you and your MIL/FIL, and you weren't expecting to pay for having to watch other kids.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 20:45     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:We vacation with my family every year, but we can stand them lol. We vacationed with my inlaws 2ish years ago (because they footed the bill), and we said we'd never do that again. Well we are lol. At least this time is just for 1 night, and they are again footing the bill.

DH thought I was blowing shit with his parents out of proportion, being sensitive, etc, until he was alone with them and DD twice. Then his eyes really opened to the insane people they are (so much so he almost didn't want to go on the last vacation).

We've moved the bar quite low with them, they clearly have no idea how to be around small children. They just want to see DH most of the time, not DD (who doesn't even wants. nt to see them at all).

Isn't family fun? lol


It’s so fun. My in laws invited me to the beach this year with my kids and didn’t tell me that my nieces are here too. Without their parents. Because somehow- that’s ok for them to dump their daughters here on our vacation without telling us.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 20:01     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Next time, instead of explaining say "right now, is not the time. if you want to discuss it later, I'm happy to explain my reasons then, but right now, you need to step away and let me parent."



Yeah, no. Never explain.

“Mary, we’ve got this covered.”

If she persists, telling her to mind her own business is fair game.[/quote

]

+1000. You never owe her an explanation and never explain to her. Your kid your way.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 11:06     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We don’t leave until Sunday and I’m done. Why did I agree to this? Inlaws are already discussing next time! Do wives really refuse to travel with their inlaws? And their husbands just say “yes dear!” My husband is not like that.


We have a "no vacations with parents" policy. One time we caved and went with my parents because the footed the entire bill for a location we'd never be able to swing on our own (and it involved many other family members). I didn't speak to my mother for 6 months after that debacle.

I detest my MIL and my DH knows that. I can barely tolerate dinner with her. He values his life too much to ever ask me to vs action with her.


OP here. I told my DH I didn’t want to do this again and he’s acting like I’m a horrible wife.


Oh well. He'll live and then have to figure this out. He's welcome to take kids on vacation with his mom. You work too hard to spend your time off with someone who bothers you. Another alternative is to go, but never stay in the same place together. Rent your own place.


+1 DH has a very finite limit when it comes to my mom. I love her dearly but if you aren't her kin, I can see why 10 minutes with her would make someone dream about murder. DH is an amazing husband so gamely comes along for whatever alternating holiday we're spending with my family each year but when it comes to family "vacations" he gets a complete pass. He can come for a day, come for the entire time, or come not at all. AND when he comes for vacations and holidays, I run 100% of the interference with my mom. That's pretty much the bare minimum requirements for the spouse with an overbearing, pain in the butt parent.

OP, your DH needs to step up.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 10:58     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
You should have increase the punishment every time she open her mouth... that would show her!
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 09:43     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Did he deal with his parents or only you?

I think it might actually would be better to set terms right off the bat--don't wait 3 days until you're completely exasperated. First offence: "Larla, let us handle this."
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 09:37     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
What did the kid do that you needed to discipline him about? Did it involve MIL?
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 09:24     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
We vacation with my family every year, but we can stand them lol. We vacationed with my inlaws 2ish years ago (because they footed the bill), and we said we'd never do that again. Well we are lol. At least this time is just for 1 night, and they are again footing the bill.

DH thought I was blowing shit with his parents out of proportion, being sensitive, etc, until he was alone with them and DD twice. Then his eyes really opened to the insane people they are (so much so he almost didn't want to go on the last vacation).

We've moved the bar quite low with them, they clearly have no idea how to be around small children. They just want to see DH most of the time, not DD (who doesn't even want to see them at all).

Isn't family fun? lol
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 09:18     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We don’t leave until Sunday and I’m done. Why did I agree to this? Inlaws are already discussing next time! Do wives really refuse to travel with their inlaws? And their husbands just say “yes dear!” My husband is not like that.


We have a "no vacations with parents" policy. One time we caved and went with my parents because the footed the entire bill for a location we'd never be able to swing on our own (and it involved many other family members). I didn't speak to my mother for 6 months after that debacle.

I detest my MIL and my DH knows that. I can barely tolerate dinner with her. He values his life too much to ever ask me to vs action with her.


OP here. I told my DH I didn’t want to do this again and he’s acting like I’m a horrible wife.


I'd paraphrase that nonsense back to him:
"So I'm not a good wife because I don't want to spend my vacation time being constantly challenged about my child rearing. Did I get that right? Anything else?"
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 09:15     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We don’t leave until Sunday and I’m done. Why did I agree to this? Inlaws are already discussing next time! Do wives really refuse to travel with their inlaws? And their husbands just say “yes dear!” My husband is not like that.


We have a "no vacations with parents" policy. One time we caved and went with my parents because the footed the entire bill for a location we'd never be able to swing on our own (and it involved many other family members). I didn't speak to my mother for 6 months after that debacle.

I detest my MIL and my DH knows that. I can barely tolerate dinner with her. He values his life too much to ever ask me to vs action with her.


OP here. I told my DH I didn’t want to do this again and he’s acting like I’m a horrible wife.


Oh well. He'll live and then have to figure this out. He's welcome to take kids on vacation with his mom. You work too hard to spend your time off with someone who bothers you. Another alternative is to go, but never stay in the same place together. Rent your own place.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2018 07:06     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We don’t leave until Sunday and I’m done. Why did I agree to this? Inlaws are already discussing next time! Do wives really refuse to travel with their inlaws? And their husbands just say “yes dear!” My husband is not like that.


We have a "no vacations with parents" policy. One time we caved and went with my parents because the footed the entire bill for a location we'd never be able to swing on our own (and it involved many other family members). I didn't speak to my mother for 6 months after that debacle.

I detest my MIL and my DH knows that. I can barely tolerate dinner with her. He values his life too much to ever ask me to vs action with her.


OP here. I told my DH I didn’t want to do this again and he’s acting like I’m a horrible wife.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2018 21:29     Subject: I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We don’t leave until Sunday and I’m done. Why did I agree to this? Inlaws are already discussing next time! Do wives really refuse to travel with their inlaws? And their husbands just say “yes dear!” My husband is not like that.


We have a "no vacations with parents" policy. One time we caved and went with my parents because the footed the entire bill for a location we'd never be able to swing on our own (and it involved many other family members). I didn't speak to my mother for 6 months after that debacle.

I detest my MIL and my DH knows that. I can barely tolerate dinner with her. He values his life too much to ever ask me to vs action with her.