Anonymous
10/14/2009 12:05
Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My house is not considered good enough by the vast majority of people I meet though all-consuming schools.
They say this, or you read their minds?
Comments on locations, others homes, decor. Anyone with a small degree of social skills gets the message. I am not the only one. A few "I don't see how people live there/like that..."
The beauty of the friendship is that we have a significant degree of total control over we choose of have that relatingship with. Why would you choose to socialize with people who would make you feel like your house (you) are not good enough.
Anonymous
10/14/2009 11:40
Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
this is funny. I used to be sort-of insecure or hung up on appearances (note that I am a guy, so probably still a lot less than the OP), but then I bought a decent but "normal" house in a very nice neighborhood. Most of my neighbors have $2M homes. So I quickly realized how liberating that was since there was no chance to ever worry about competing.
Anonymous
10/14/2009 11:31
Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My house is not considered good enough by the vast majority of people I meet though all-consuming schools.
They say this, or you read their minds?
Comments on locations, others homes, decor. Anyone with a small degree of social skills gets the message. I am not the only one. A few "I don't see how people live there/like that..."
Anonymous
10/14/2009 10:31
Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I will admit to becoming quite anxious when people come by, but I have to remember that people love me for me and are not looking at the toys or tiny dining room!
I don't like my kitchen. So, when people come over the first time, I always think about it. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that thinks this or that about her own house.
I am the PP you are quoting.
I was insecure about this growing up too, and most of friends had a lot of money and huge houses and I was ALWAYS embarrassed!
I actually have had to consciously stop apologizing for my little house and just be grateful and proud. It makes others so uncomfortable when I am uncomfortable!
Anonymous
10/14/2009 10:29
Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:What preparations do you people go through to have people over? Sounds exhausting.
We don't do anything special, just make sure there is pleanty of TP and stuff all the toys into a closet. I run a vaccuum just about every other day and try not to go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, so I would not fall over and die right now if some house guests showed up right now.
What kind of friends do you all have that would be so concerned with the freshness of your paint? Honestly, I've never gone into a person's home and contemplated their paint.
For me, what is most important is good food and lots of drink. I LOVE to cook, so I really enjoy having people over so I can put my best meals out there.
I am right there with you PP. Also, people really do not notice half the stuff in your house anyway - unless they are really bored and take the time to look around. My husband once hosted some of his employees at our house for a party, the party was on the same day as our cleaning. I was in meetings all day and around 6pm I got a voicemail (left at 9 am) from the service saying that they could not come that day beacuse of some mix with some other clients. I frantically tried to track down DH to warm him that the house would not be in the best shape but could not reach him. I showed up at the house around 8pm totally worried. Anyway, they were all hanging out on the porch, eating, drinking, talking and playing poker. When I pulled my husband aside as asked if he had not notice that the house not not clean - he looked at he and said "really".
Anonymous
10/14/2009 10:27
Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:I will admit to becoming quite anxious when people come by, but I have to remember that people love me for me and are not looking at the toys or tiny dining room!
I don't like my kitchen. So, when people come over the first time, I always think about it. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that thinks this or that about her own house.
Anonymous
10/14/2009 10:23
Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:Wow, there are certainly a lot of insecure people on this board. I love having people over and have been doing it since my law school days. I have never worried about what people will think of the house (I usually keep it reasonalbly clean). The idea to to have fun and if there are people who will judge you based on the size of the house or the quality of the furniture or whether the food is catered then you should not have invited them and they probably will not come again if given a second invitation.
Thank you for calling us insecure. I was wondering what was wrong and now I know since you were kind enough to come on and label it. Now, I am insecure about being insecure especially since you have been throwing parties since your law school days.
Anonymous
10/14/2009 10:20
Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Wow, there are certainly a lot of insecure people on this board. I love having people over and have been doing it since my law school days. I have never worried about what people will think of the house (I usually keep it reasonalbly clean). The idea to to have fun and if there are people who will judge you based on the size of the house or the quality of the furniture or whether the food is catered then you should not have invited them and they probably will not come again if given a second invitation.
Anonymous
10/14/2009 09:35
Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
I will admit to becoming quite anxious when people come by, but I have to remember that people love me for me and are not looking at the toys or tiny dining room!
Anonymous
10/14/2009 09:32
Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
What preparations do you people go through to have people over? Sounds exhausting.
We don't do anything special, just make sure there is pleanty of TP and stuff all the toys into a closet. I run a vaccuum just about every other day and try not to go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, so I would not fall over and die right now if some house guests showed up right now.
What kind of friends do you all have that would be so concerned with the freshness of your paint? Honestly, I've never gone into a person's home and contemplated their paint.
For me, what is most important is good food and lots of drink. I LOVE to cook, so I really enjoy having people over so I can put my best meals out there.
We don't do anything special, just make sure there is pleanty of TP and stuff all the toys into a closet. I run a vaccuum just about every other day and try not to go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, so I would not fall over and die right now if some house guests showed up right now.
What kind of friends do you all have that would be so concerned with the freshness of your paint? Honestly, I've never gone into a person's home and contemplated their paint.
For me, what is most important is good food and lots of drink. I LOVE to cook, so I really enjoy having people over so I can put my best meals out there.
Anonymous
10/14/2009 09:08
Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:My house is not considered good enough by the vast majority of people I meet though all-consuming schools.
They say this, or you read their minds?
Anonymous
10/14/2009 09:02
Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
OP, I always joke that my role among our group of friends is to set the bar low so everyone else feels good about their own houses!
Think about the best times you've ever had at house parties. Was it because the house was perfect or because your hosts were warm, welcoming, relaxed, and happy to see you?
Think about the best times you've ever had at house parties. Was it because the house was perfect or because your hosts were warm, welcoming, relaxed, and happy to see you?
Anonymous
10/14/2009 07:43
Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
OP -- take it easy on yourself. You have a new infant to care for! Your friends should be bringing you food, not putting you in a position where you need to clean house and make appetizers.
I used to be one of those people with an immaculate house who loved to throw parties. Now I send the hubby out for chips, salsa and beer, and apologize for the baby stuff everywhere when people walk through the door. We still have just as much fun, and no one seems to notice the difference. It kind of makes me sad I spent so much time on apparently invisible tasks before.
I used to be one of those people with an immaculate house who loved to throw parties. Now I send the hubby out for chips, salsa and beer, and apologize for the baby stuff everywhere when people walk through the door. We still have just as much fun, and no one seems to notice the difference. It kind of makes me sad I spent so much time on apparently invisible tasks before.
Anonymous
10/14/2009 06:50
Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:I'm the same way. However awhile back I realized with my best friends if I waited until the house was perfect to invite people over I would never have company. I also recognized how anxious I was about the food being just right, the house being just right etc. and my best friends from college straight out said - don't worry about it - we're here to visit you not the house. Apart from the work to get the house clean (which comes in handy because at least then the dining room table finally gets cleared off) - I try to be more mellow and don't worry about perfect. I'm still not ready to have large groups of people with children come by but I can handle the one family with kids visiting or a group of close friends visiting. When it's family or close friends the pressure to play "host" isn't as great - and you get to the point where it isn't an issue to say the glasses are in this cabinet or the juice is on the side of the fridge. After fifteen years, I think my friends from college and I are at the point that we can go into each other's fridge to get something if need be. Once I realized that it was okay for people that I know well that are visiting to help - it made the visits a lot less stressful.
My house is not considered good enough by the vast majority of people I meet though all-consuming schools. Location , furniture, lack of staff, lack of high end restaurant quality cooking. Huge downside to "Big 3" is the fact that as a parent I am part of a permanent underclass.
Anonymous
10/13/2009 23:28
Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
I'm the same way. However awhile back I realized with my best friends if I waited until the house was perfect to invite people over I would never have company. I also recognized how anxious I was about the food being just right, the house being just right etc. and my best friends from college straight out said - don't worry about it - we're here to visit you not the house. Apart from the work to get the house clean (which comes in handy because at least then the dining room table finally gets cleared off) - I try to be more mellow and don't worry about perfect. I'm still not ready to have large groups of people with children come by but I can handle the one family with kids visiting or a group of close friends visiting. When it's family or close friends the pressure to play "host" isn't as great - and you get to the point where it isn't an issue to say the glasses are in this cabinet or the juice is on the side of the fridge. After fifteen years, I think my friends from college and I are at the point that we can go into each other's fridge to get something if need be. Once I realized that it was okay for people that I know well that are visiting to help - it made the visits a lot less stressful.