Anonymous wrote:NP here - when you say they are older, do you mean over 70? That will inform my opinion.

Yes, they are over 70.

Anonymous wrote:So instead of leaving her with people she knows and dealing with an altered schedule you'd rather leave her with a total stranger (babysitter or nanny)? THAT makes no sense.

No she'd be in daycare for presumably 8 hours a day still and being in her own home, her own crib with her own toys. I have left my DD with my parents when she was 1 and I wouldn't have wanted them taking her on a trip out of state. For one, if something happens, it's a different pediatrician.

OP you also need to sign a medical waiver to give your inlaws permission to take her and treat her in case of emergency.

Anonymous wrote:NP here - when you say they are older, do you mean over 70? That will inform my opinion.

This matters. DH and I are 50. My grandkids are 2 years old and 7 months old. I'm easily able to care for them. I'm not sure I could do it at 70.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound reasonable. I wouldn’t negotiate and just tell them it won’t work for you. Find someone else. You aren’t going to relax with them watching her.

Of course she won't. Because she's an anxious person!! She's not going to relax no matter who takes care of the baby.

I have had others care for her and have relaxed. I leave her in daycare everyday! She's been with my mother, a doula, and sitters. It is specifically the length of time and the caretakers that worry me. And goodness - yes I AM an anxious person! I'm not trying to say that I'm not. But anxiety doesn't make everything you think automatically unreasonable. I work hard to try and sort out what is anxiety and what is valid parental concern.

I just feel that this trip would be better for everyone if DD was in daycare during the week. I would love to cancel, but my sister is getting married. DH wants to come on the international trip and he is part of the family. I think our marriage will benefit from the alone time.

So instead of leaving her with people she knows and dealing with an altered schedule you'd rather leave her with a total stranger (babysitter or nanny)? THAT makes no sense.

NP here - when you say they are older, do you mean over 70? That will inform my opinion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there only one person fighting against the OP and posting again and again? I think OP sounds reasonable and not anxious.

I've posted more than once, yes. Is that a crime?

I see a consistent theme in parent/grandparent posts -- it's almost always complaints about the in laws. Be generous, people.

NP when you post for or against something in multiple posts it gives the illusion that there are numerous people who feel the same way. I feel like it's bullying when someone posts against the poster over and over again in several posts on the same page. It's anonymous so it looks like you're more than one person instead of one person who just keeps posting against the poster.

There are at least two of us, I assure you . . . I'm trying to help, not validate anxious feelings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't leave a one year old for a week with anyone. Much less someone I didn't trust. This trip will be a disaster, OP. Don't do it.

LOL. The baby is in day care all day!

Did you read the OPs post? The inlaws don't want the baby in daycare.

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Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't leave a one year old for a week with anyone. Much less someone I didn't trust. This trip will be a disaster, OP. Don't do it.

LOL. The baby is in day care all day!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there only one person fighting against the OP and posting again and again? I think OP sounds reasonable and not anxious.

I've posted more than once, yes. Is that a crime?

I see a consistent theme in parent/grandparent posts -- it's almost always complaints about the in laws. Be generous, people.

NP when you post for or against something in multiple posts it gives the illusion that there are numerous people who feel the same way. I feel like it's bullying when someone posts against the poster over and over again in several posts on the same page. It's anonymous so it looks like you're more than one person instead of one person who just keeps posting against the poster.

Nope. Cancel the trip—or DH stays home and you go.

Not worth the worry and stress. At the end of the day, they don’t respect you and your DH—and they will likely make some stupid safety decisions because “well we did it this way and it was ok.”

Nope.

She'll be happy, OP. Honestly. She'll probably not even notice you're gone. She'll have special time with her grandparents, and in the end this will improve your relationship with them. It's a win win.

(Note to other posters: told you so . . .)

I wouldn't leave a one year old for a week with anyone. Much less someone I didn't trust. This trip will be a disaster, OP. Don't do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I wouldn't leave my kid with someone like that. I would have ripped into her if she told me i was an anxious person and it's hard. Argh. Where is your DH in all of this? Why does it seem like it's you having these hard conversations with your inlaws? How old is she? 12 months or 20 months? I really can't imagine grandparents wanting to take a 1 year old away from everything she likes, her toys and her daycare.

I would hire a nanny or a friend to watch her instead. (And I'm someone who left my 18 month old with my parents for 2 weeks while DH and I went on vacation, but they could be trusted)

Are you actually suggesting that OP's post doesn't read like it was written by an anxious person? No disrespect, but the ILs know the OP better than we do . . .

OP here - I am 100% a worrier and I dealt with a nasty bout of postpartum anxiety - which is why[i] I asked if I was being overly worried. I know that she will survive if they watch her, but I'd also like her to be as happy as she can be if we aren't there. We also worked hard to have a good sleeper, and I am also (selfishly I suppose?) worried that we'll come home to a baby who no longer takes naps or STTN. I've been in that awful sleep deprived place and do not want to go back. I'm trying to get a gauge on the reasonableness of my position.