Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 13:45     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I put this here and not lgbt because I’m not lgbt. So soon it will be bigotry to having a sexual orientation? https://www.them.us/story/cis-trans-dating


If it was would you step outside of your comfort zone to avoid being called a bigot?

It's not bigotry, it's biological reality.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 13:36     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
The world is going insane.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 13:36     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not bigotry to not be attracted to a certain type. It is bigotry to be attracted and even start dating, find out, then dump them.

What if you dump them because you want bio-kids?

I guess that depends on the specific situation. I know several transgender people who have bio kids. I also know several transgender people who are not interested in bio kids at all. It's not like it's one specific way for everyone. Certainly if you do not have the same childbearing/rearing priorities/values as a romantic partner, it's best to end that relationship, but that's about childbearing/rearing priorities, not the person's gender.

Fairly certain one cannot have bio-kids after a reassignment operation...so in the scenario where you are a woman dating someone who identified as a man but was genotypically a woman, you can't have bio-kids with them. You could have adoptive kids or maybe a kid with your egg and donor sperm...but that might not be what you want.

I know this isn't straightforward. I went through years of IF treatments with my DH, but, honestly, I was on the fence about using donor sperm/egg if it came down to it. We were able to have kids with our own DNA, in the end.

And someone can definitely be transgender without having full reassignment surgery. One of the trans women I know is the biological father of 2 children who call her mom. Her ciswoman wife was the one who carried the children. People figure out lots of ways to have kids.

None of these seem to be situations where a cisgendered person started dating someone whom they thought was cisgendered (of the opposite sex), and then found out they were transgendered (with or without surgery). That was the situation that I thought the first PP was alluding to. In that situation, you will be the same genetic sex as your partner, and biokids are not possible.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 13:30     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not bigotry to not be attracted to a certain type. It is bigotry to be attracted and even start dating, find out, then dump them.

What if you dump them because you want bio-kids?


So times it is easier. I know one female trans person who banked sperm before undergoing hormone therapy. She is also a lesbian, so when the time comes, her partner can bear children that are biologically both of theirs.


How is a man ever a lesbian?

Come on people.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 13:28     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Not even 90% of trans people are willing to date other trans people lol
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 13:24     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not bigotry to not be attracted to a certain type. It is bigotry to be attracted and even start dating, find out, then dump them.

What if you dump them because you want bio-kids?


So times it is easier. I know one female trans person who banked sperm before undergoing hormone therapy. She is also a lesbian, so when the time comes, her partner can bear children that are biologically both of theirs.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 12:38     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:It's not bigotry to not be attracted to a certain type. It is bigotry to be attracted and even start dating, find out, then dump them.


Nope. If you don't tell your dating partner and they later find out and dump you, serves you right.

Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 12:36     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not bigotry to not be attracted to a certain type. It is bigotry to be attracted and even start dating, find out, then dump them.

What if you dump them because you want bio-kids?

I guess that depends on the specific situation. I know several transgender people who have bio kids. I also know several transgender people who are not interested in bio kids at all. It's not like it's one specific way for everyone. Certainly if you do not have the same childbearing/rearing priorities/values as a romantic partner, it's best to end that relationship, but that's about childbearing/rearing priorities, not the person's gender.

Fairly certain one cannot have bio-kids after a reassignment operation...so in the scenario where you are a woman dating someone who identified as a man but was genotypically a woman, you can't have bio-kids with them. You could have adoptive kids or maybe a kid with your egg and donor sperm...but that might not be what you want.

I know this isn't straightforward. I went through years of IF treatments with my DH, but, honestly, I was on the fence about using donor sperm/egg if it came down to it. We were able to have kids with our own DNA, in the end.


Not true at all. Reassignment operation does not require sterilization. If you want more details, research Thomas Beatie, the infamous pregnant man.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 12:11     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:It's not bigotry to not be attracted to a certain type. It is bigotry to be attracted and even start dating, find out, then dump them.


No it is not bigotry.

It is deception and lying by the person pretending to be something they are not.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 12:11     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:I feel like dating, much like employment, is basically an at-will situation. If you don't want to date someone for some reason, don't date them. If the reason that you don't want to date someone is that you have a prejudice against them (e.g., you think transgender people are mentally ill, etc.), then sure, work on being less of a bigot, but don't feel like you have to date someone in order to prove you're not a bigot. I feel like the grayer area is if you are already dating someone and don't know they're transgender and then break up with them when you find out. Is it bigoted? Sure, but it's not unsympathetic.


I disagree. I think this is a breach of trust on the part of the transgender person. I think it's imperative to let your partner know your biological capabilities. If you are a transgender man and your woman partner prefers the feel of actual male anatomy -- that's an issue. Then there's the whole thing of reproduction. A person has a right to decide if they are compatible with someone else based on any factor presented.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 12:10     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Yes it is.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 12:10     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not bigotry to not be attracted to a certain type. It is bigotry to be attracted and even start dating, find out, then dump them.

What if you dump them because you want bio-kids?

I guess that depends on the specific situation. I know several transgender people who have bio kids. I also know several transgender people who are not interested in bio kids at all. It's not like it's one specific way for everyone. Certainly if you do not have the same childbearing/rearing priorities/values as a romantic partner, it's best to end that relationship, but that's about childbearing/rearing priorities, not the person's gender.

Fairly certain one cannot have bio-kids after a reassignment operation...so in the scenario where you are a woman dating someone who identified as a man but was genotypically a woman, you can't have bio-kids with them. You could have adoptive kids or maybe a kid with your egg and donor sperm...but that might not be what you want.

I know this isn't straightforward. I went through years of IF treatments with my DH, but, honestly, I was on the fence about using donor sperm/egg if it came down to it. We were able to have kids with our own DNA, in the end.


And someone can definitely be transgender without having full reassignment surgery. One of the trans women I know is the biological father of 2 children who call her mom. Her ciswoman wife was the one who carried the children. People figure out lots of ways to have kids.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 12:06     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not bigotry to not be attracted to a certain type. It is bigotry to be attracted and even start dating, find out, then dump them.

What if you dump them because you want bio-kids?

I guess that depends on the specific situation. I know several transgender people who have bio kids. I also know several transgender people who are not interested in bio kids at all. It's not like it's one specific way for everyone. Certainly if you do not have the same childbearing/rearing priorities/values as a romantic partner, it's best to end that relationship, but that's about childbearing/rearing priorities, not the person's gender.

Fairly certain one cannot have bio-kids after a reassignment operation...so in the scenario where you are a woman dating someone who identified as a man but was genotypically a woman, you can't have bio-kids with them. You could have adoptive kids or maybe a kid with your egg and donor sperm...but that might not be what you want.

I know this isn't straightforward. I went through years of IF treatments with my DH, but, honestly, I was on the fence about using donor sperm/egg if it came down to it. We were able to have kids with our own DNA, in the end.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 12:04     Subject: Is it bigotry to not date trans people
Anonymous wrote:It's not bigotry to not be attracted to a certain type. It is bigotry to be attracted and even start dating, find out, then dump them.


Wait...you mean if I ask an attractive woman out on a date and then find out she's packing man parts, I can't dump "her" because that would make me a bigot even though I'm not in the market for penis?
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2018 12:02     Subject: Re:Is it bigotry to not date trans people
No. It is not bigotry to not date them. It is bigotry to treat them differently than you treat other people you are not dating. If you treat them with the same respect that you treat someone else of the same external gender, then you are fine. Respecting them is treating a trans-man as you would other men and treating a trans-woman the same as you would another woman. You do not have to date or want to date every man out there, so you don't have to want to date a trans-man.