Anonymous wrote:OP here. Several responses about the new husband which I cant/won’t refute because I have no info. But I feel like the mother has a big part in this? It would be easier for a court to say the mother has custody/visitation but the husband cannot be there? Why would the court punish the mother (from 50% custody to 4 hours visitation per week) if the issue is the husband?

Yes, probably the mother also had some part in whatever happened.

Don't let her babysit your children! If you visit your relatives, don't let her take all the kids somewhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Check court records for upcoming court dates.
Some states allow access to a lot with just a name

She already did this, based on how the post reads...

Thx for the suggestion. I did search State records including a paid search for publicly available data, but nothing came up for recent/open events. Unless I am looking in the wrong place but I don’t know where else to look.

^^
The info might not be public info/readily available bc it's family court and dealing with minors. Rarely, if ever at all, does family court post anything open to the public.

Who knows OP?
But the visits stipulated the mom must be alone right?
Think that is what we are reacting too. So it sounds like something involving the new DH is off...either he is the problem, someone or something associated with him is the problem, momis hanging around not so great people and it has nothing to do with her DH, or the mom decided to not pay attention to the child when she is around DH.

There is no way to really know unless their are court cases available, other than to listen to family gossip. If you rarely see her why is it so important? If you have kids keep them away from her and her DH until you find out what happened.

OP here. Several responses about the new husband which I cant/won’t refute because I have no info. But I feel like the mother has a big part in this? It would be easier for a court to say the mother has custody/visitation but the husband cannot be there? Why would the court punish the mother (from 50% custody to 4 hours visitation per week) if the issue is the husband?

Anonymous wrote:Does the new husband have children? They could be an issue as well...

He has no children.

I know of a situation where father was only allowed rare visitation with a chaperone along for one year. It was because the mother ALLEGED he touched the 4-yr-old boy while he was bathing him. Father was unable to prove it was false, obviously.

After one year he was allowed full visitation, every other weekend he had the kid at his house unchaperoned for the rest of his childhood.

Because this mother accused her second husband of inappropriate touching of kids later, I believe she was lying or wrong about the first allegation. Didn't matter, though, dad could not spend one minute with that kid unchaperoned for a full year.

New husband is a problem, it sounds like. Keep all kids away from him. He's either a felon, alcoholic, drug abuser, has fits of anger and abuse, or abused the child. Stay far away.

Does the new husband have children? They could be an issue as well...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t have a relationship with this 38 yr old mom, why in the world would you “worry for the sake of my own kid as it is likely he will around her/them in the future.” Explain how he would reasonably be around them. They live out west. It makes no sense that you would be worried.

Because we are family and there is a 100% chance we will be together in the future.

I disagree. You’re not close enough to even know what happened. You’re physically far away. There’s no need or reason for your own kid to ever see them. You can control that. Stop with the drama and focus on other things. This mother is not in your life right now and doesn’t need to be.

OP here. You’re wrong. Not sure why this is something to argue about. I’m telling you we will be together again.

Anonymous wrote:I see no issue with speaking up and privately asking an involved family member, “Is there something I need to be aware of with Larla and her daughter? I don’t want to pry but if there is something we should be aware of, please let me know before I inadvertently say or do something wrong.”

I agree. I'm also wondering who provided this info and whether they are a reliable narrator. People can misunderstand or misrepresented situations.

I see no issue with speaking up and privately asking an involved family member, “Is there something I need to be aware of with Larla and her daughter? I don’t want to pry but if there is something we should be aware of, please let me know before I inadvertently say or do something wrong.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t have a relationship with this 38 yr old mom, why in the world would you “worry for the sake of my own kid as it is likely he will around her/them in the future.” Explain how he would reasonably be around them. They live out west. It makes no sense that you would be worried.

Because we are family and there is a 100% chance we will be together in the future.

I disagree. You’re not close enough to even know what happened. You’re physically far away. There’s no need or reason for your own kid to ever see them. You can control that. Stop with the drama and focus on other things. This mother is not in your life right now and doesn’t need to be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Check court records for upcoming court dates.
Some states allow access to a lot with just a name

She already did this, based on how the post reads...

Thx for the suggestion. I did search State records including a paid search for publicly available data, but nothing came up for recent/open events. Unless I am looking in the wrong place but I don’t know where else to look.

The stepfather injured the child and the mother knew about it and didn't protect the child.

You say you are very closely related to the mother -- she is your sister? Your husband's sister? A cousin?

The only way your child would be near this woman and her new husband would be at a family gathering at your parents or aunt/uncles house. If she is your sister that's one thing, but if just a cousin? Stop going to such family gatherings. Or don't allow your child to be anywhere alone with him or her.

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t have a relationship with this 38 yr old mom, why in the world would you “worry for the sake of my own kid as it is likely he will around her/them in the future.” Explain how he would reasonably be around them. They live out west. It makes no sense that you would be worried.

Because we are family and there is a 100% chance we will be together in the future.