I totally understand. I have a mother like that and it's very difficult.

The last time she was visiting, we had just gotten back from vacation and one of my children got sick so I took more time off from work. The day after I sent my sick child back to school, the other got sick. By then, I was really behind at work and couldn't ask for more time off. My mom offered to watch DC. DC has ADHD, explosive personality. This was before we knew what the problem was and was not on treatment. I explained to my mom that DD is high energy (even when sick) and if she could please take her to the playground (10 minutes walk from the house). Response was DD didn't want to go so she let her watch TV and tablet all day. I was teleworking and explained that I had a telephone conference between 1-2 pm where I needed to speak and be uninterrupted and again, asked to please, please take DD to the playground. Lots of excuses again as to why she couldn't do that. While on the call, I hear by mom upstairs yelling at DD, "well, if your mom is too weak to spank you, I'll spank you. I'm not scare of you like your mom is scarred of you," and on and on. It was horrible and i'm convinced she purposely pick that particular point in time during the day to have her hysterical meltdown. When I got off the phone, she was all calm with "oh, I feel so sorry for your children. The reason this poor child acts out if because you are too busy with your career to give her attention."

OP i have a mom sort of like yours. She gets "mad" over the stupidest stuff. Pouts for days because she thinks she will pout me into submission. I KNOW her behavior is not acceptable, yet I do it too. It's what i know. My poor husband is a saint on some days when I exhibit the same kind of behavior.

I suspect there are more details here, as the story you wrote didn't seem like a huge deal.

But, if it was a big deal, be firm in your approach and set a reasonable consequence. "Mom, it's not ok to (XXXXX). It was really rude and disrespectful. Especially in front of the kids. If this continues then you will not be invited back to the house." Then mean it.

Your mother shouldn't have a say in what your kids wear. Pull back on her involvement.

Anonymous wrote:You sound unstable OP.

Well, with a mom who acts like that, I'm sure OP has had to struggle. Wonder if we are related!

Wish I had gone to therapy earlier to learn how to deal with my family members, and learn better behaviors and coping for myself.

You sound unstable OP.

Anonymous wrote:Op here- no she did lose it. She screamed like a crazy person and then stomped down to the basement to pout.

You must be my sister. We have the same mother.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was complaining about how you could see my 2yr old DDs underwear through her white leggings. I said we can just get her dress to cover her bottom and my mom was still angry because she wanted her to wear the shirt she had on. I asked her if there was any white underwear in her drawer and she snapped. She said “uhh nooo I’m not stupid!! Are you?!” She said this right in front of my 5yr old DS. My mom is not mentally stable but this is the first time lost it in front of the kids. My husband is furious. Would you be upset as well?

It’s your mom. Why would your husband be furious and why would you mention your husband?

Because her DH doesn’t want HIS family to learn freakshow behavior via his MIL? Because he cares about his wife and doesn’t like her being treated like crap?
You are really super dense - why? Do you treat people this way ? It’s not ok.

Why is your poor mom in the basement?