We are foreign service and we moved our kids around for 10 or so years without asking them what they thought about it. When they started middle school, they started expressing their desire to set down some roots. I think there is value in listening to children and including their wants and needs into the discussion. We made a family decision to stay put, and it has done wonders for our kids' social and academic growth. I see nothing wrong with that.

I know some people move to different neighborhoods based on school options. That's not a big deal, really. If you could move a few miles, stay in an affordable -- for you -- home, and get your kid in a better school vs having to stay in a less-than-satisfactory school district and have to pay for private school? That's an easy choice. But I really don't know anyone that let's their kids make those types of decisions. It is the adults.

When the kids are little, we make all the decisions, and as they get older we are not with them all the time so that they have to make decisions on their own. An example would be who they want to eat lunch with or what activities they are interested in. I will offer activities that we can afford and fit into our current schedule. We can make suggestions as to what friends we like them to invite over or what activities they would be good at. I try to give choices when I think it is right for their age. I do not give my children their way when it comes to clothes because I am paying for it. Another area where I am stricter is allowing tweens to be on their own too early. Parenting is not easy and it is hard because I don't always agree with what other parents do but I have to stand my ground and stick to my decision. It is good to talk these issues out with your child ahead of time so that they know where you stand and they can be prepared for your reaction.

If you give them a choice, and you can't live with their decision, then don't give them that choice. Let them decide little things. Big decisions are up to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t actually know anyone who bought a house based on their kids’ preferences. Do you, OP?

OP said "children's needs [and preferences]."

I would venture to say the vast majority of people I know who bought houses after (or shortly before) they had kids bought them for the school zones, which would definitely count as buying for children's needs. I'm actually having trouble thinking of someone who didn't.

But OP makes this sound like a new thing. People have been buying for good schools for a long time.

Appreciate the input here.

OP, what prompted your question? Are you looking for a new home?