Anonymous wrote:

Visiting Feynman might be a good idea. You might well feel that you are suddenly among loving allies instead of loving opponents. That is certainly how I felt in the HGC. Unfortunately, until HS, a kid who wants to go faster is a problem rather than a delight in traditional school structure.

What is the HGC?

Montgomery County Highly Gifted Centers (4th and 5th grade). Now called CES... Center for Enriched Studies.

Visiting Feynman might be a good idea. You might well feel that you are suddenly among loving allies instead of loving opponents. That is certainly how I felt in the HGC. Unfortunately, until HS, a kid who wants to go faster is a problem rather than a delight in traditional school structure.

What is the HGC?

In MoCo, you can apply for the middle school magnets early in the 5th grade and the high school magnets early in 8th grade.
There are lots of kids like your child in the MoCo gifted programs but the programs are definitely for children who are not just gifted but also high achieving. They are expected to work very hard and there is also a focus on group work which means they develop their social and interpersonal skills. A student who is intellectually advanced but still needs time to mature emotionally etc. might have a tough time adjusting to the environment.
At the same time the kids are very kind to each other and supportive of each other so that is nice. It can really be a haven for gifted kids as a PP pointed out.

There is no real differentiation except with the big projects*. For example in 7th grade, students in the Eastern Humanities Middle school magnet write a 10 page research paper and they are allowed considerable latitude to pick a topic that interests them. In 8th grade in the same program, they do an individual "passion" project. My child wrote a 75 page story, others made movies or documentaries. In the Blair Science magnet, students spend a semester developing a research project, spend two months during the summer working full time on the project and spend an additional semester writing up their results etc.

*There is some differentiation in Math. At Blair Magnet around 20% of the 9th grade class is studying calculus and they can then move onto multivariable calculus, linear algebra etc.

Anonymous wrote:In Virginia, the "gifted" schools are Nysmith and Basis. They are completely different environments than more traditional prep schools (of which I attended so I am not trying to be offensive). They may be a better environment for your child or if they are not conveniently located, you could contact them and ask. Or even ask your current school for their thoughts. If you don't think the current school is a good fit, it may be that they agree but don't want to push you out. If you open the dialogue with the current school, perhaps they can provide guidance. I truly believe that while there is sometimes competition among schools, the schools do appreciate the special niches that each school seems to fill. That is one of the wonderful things about DC. We have so many amazing private schools that fill so many different niches. A big 3 would not feel slighted if you decided your child would fit in better at a niche school. And from a purely monetary standpoint, those schools have long waiting lists ready to fill in your child's spot.

Who the hell cares if the school feels slighted? What a weird comment.

Are you sure your child's only issue is that he's way smarter than everybody else? Because I'd have to think that Big 3 schools have a lot of experience with gifted kids -- you basically have to be gifted to get in. It sounds like he might have emotional issues as well. Has he had a psychological evaluation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would your private school allow DS to do some of the online enrichment options from CTY during school? That might ease some of the frustrations for him.

In MoCo, it seems that the deadlines for 4th grade magnets, which are considered a haven for gifted children, have passed for acceptance for next year. But perhaps for 5th? I am not sure how it works to come into the program late. Our HGC teachers talked a lot about how to help the kids cooperate and listen to each other... they seemed attuned to some of the typical social challenges for bright kids.

And OP, I say this with all the love in the world, since I see this in my own family. There is a very good chance that the intensity and sensitivity that your child bears is causing him to overreact. And that he is immature. It is not necessarily a case of misinterpretation. Be careful that you do not make too many excuses for him, since failing to hold him accountable to himself could lead him to develop a lot of insecurity and anxiety. Some children have to work very hard at learning to read. Some have to put in the hard work for social skills. An environment which ignores his needs is terrible, of course, and I am sure you are trying to help him, but just do check in on yourself and assess whether you could expect more from him in the behavior department, even if his awareness does give him cause to become upset.

PP, I appreciate your advice and how kindly it is meant. We do not lower our behavioral expectations. However, please understand that for sensitive children who feel bombarded by emotional and other stimuli, it is more of a challenge for them to maintain their equilibrium. Just as you note, some kids have dyslexia or ADHD, or are challenged in reading or math. They will need more help to reach certain targets.

Gifted kids whose sensitivity means that they are processing more inputs at greater levels of intensity need extra help and support figuring out how to handle them and respond appropriately, rather than being shamed that they are not like other kids. It’s no longer okay to call kids with ADHD or dyslexia dumb or slow, but it’s perfectly okay to call a gifted, sensitive kid “immature” and “over reactive.”

If the school is intentionally shaming him, then yes you do need to find another place for him. That may have more to do with his teacher than the school, but the administration should be on board, too. Perhaps some kind of action plan that you can all agree is appropriate. But if they understand his needs and are correcting him to help him, then that may be a gift. Eight is old enough to understand that his reaction is too much and that he needs to find an acceptable response, even if it is challenging for him. And he probably does know he is different... I would be matter of fact with him about that. As I say, I see it in our own version close to me and I have tons of sympathy for your boy. And you! Since you seem to be looking for ways to help him get there and not just blowing it off, I am only mentioning it as something to watch out for, not an accusation against you. I know you are dealing with it every day, and I know it is hard, and I suspect that it has probably been very hard since he turned two.

Visiting Feynman might be a good idea. You might well feel that you are suddenly among loving allies instead of loving opponents. That is certainly how I felt in the HGC. Unfortunately, until HS, a kid who wants to go faster is a problem rather than a delight in traditional school structure.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with this, and it sounds like you have a good understanding of your child. I have a similar (though younger) child, and one thing you might think about is whether Occupational Therapy could help your child acquire more skills in managing those extra inputs. Our daughter has always been "on the bubble," so to speak, in terms of whether or not she would even qualify for OT, but we finally went ahead and got a private assessment, and it confirmed that while there's nothing wrong, per se, she is highly sensitive and OT can help her develop better sensory integration skills and coping techniques. I'm so glad we listened to the advice of other parents of highly sensitive, gifted kids and went ahead with the OT. While our school is really great at supporting social-emotional development and highly sensitive kids, this was just outside their skill set.

PP, this is great advice. Can you recommend an OT experienced in working with highly sensitive, gifted kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would your private school allow DS to do some of the online enrichment options from CTY during school? That might ease some of the frustrations for him.

In MoCo, it seems that the deadlines for 4th grade magnets, which are considered a haven for gifted children, have passed for acceptance for next year. But perhaps for 5th? I am not sure how it works to come into the program late. Our HGC teachers talked a lot about how to help the kids cooperate and listen to each other... they seemed attuned to some of the typical social challenges for bright kids.

And OP, I say this with all the love in the world, since I see this in my own family. There is a very good chance that the intensity and sensitivity that your child bears is causing him to overreact. And that he is immature. It is not necessarily a case of misinterpretation. Be careful that you do not make too many excuses for him, since failing to hold him accountable to himself could lead him to develop a lot of insecurity and anxiety. Some children have to work very hard at learning to read. Some have to put in the hard work for social skills. An environment which ignores his needs is terrible, of course, and I am sure you are trying to help him, but just do check in on yourself and assess whether you could expect more from him in the behavior department, even if his awareness does give him cause to become upset.

PP, I appreciate your advice and how kindly it is meant. We do not lower our behavioral expectations. However, please understand that for sensitive children who feel bombarded by emotional and other stimuli, it is more of a challenge for them to maintain their equilibrium. Just as you note, some kids have dyslexia or ADHD, or are challenged in reading or math. They will need more help to reach certain targets.

Gifted kids whose sensitivity means that they are processing more inputs at greater levels of intensity need extra help and support figuring out how to handle them and respond appropriately, rather than being shamed that they are not like other kids. It’s no longer okay to call kids with ADHD or dyslexia dumb or slow, but it’s perfectly okay to call a gifted, sensitive kid “immature” and “over reactive.”

I agree with this, and it sounds like you have a good understanding of your child. I have a similar (though younger) child, and one thing you might think about is whether Occupational Therapy could help your child acquire more skills in managing those extra inputs. Our daughter has always been "on the bubble," so to speak, in terms of whether or not she would even qualify for OT, but we finally went ahead and got a private assessment, and it confirmed that while there's nothing wrong, per se, she is highly sensitive and OT can help her develop better sensory integration skills and coping techniques. I'm so glad we listened to the advice of other parents of highly sensitive, gifted kids and went ahead with the OT. While our school is really great at supporting social-emotional development and highly sensitive kids, this was just outside their skill set.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By differentiation, I do not mean a little more advanced work. I mean a 4th grader be allowed to join in on an advanced algebra class.

Why must it be the latter only? I totally consider "a little more advanced work" to be differentiation, and at that age, going beyond that strikes me personally as unnecessary. But that's just my view. We have a gifted kid too, and are fine with not turning elementary school into an extremely academically-intense experience. There will be plenty of time for that in middle and high school.

I don’t think you understand what it’s like to have a child who is gifted, not just bright. Math is a joy for him, not “academically intense.” He wants to learn more, do more, explore everything that is possible. I can’t keep up with him and his dad who is mathematically gifted too can’t give him as much time as my son wants. We’re not pushing it. It’s what he wants because it’s fun.

To other PP, we have not explored CTY’s online courses and will take a closer look. Has it worked well for your kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems that schools like Sidwell, GDS, and STA don’t allow differentiation until 9th.

I have a hard time believing that this statement is 100 percent true.

It is true, for the most part, for younger elementary IME. For this reason, i am not sure why OP didn't know this going in. I don't mean to offend, but I thought it was commonly known among parents whose children attend these schools. The Big 3 and like private are not "rigorous" elementary schools. If I wanted more knowledge and skill acquisition, and perhaps more rigor too, whatever that means really, I would put my child in the neighborhood public elementary school.

OP here. OP did know this going in. Please read my Original Post to see why we are reconsidering our initial decisions, which were made when DS was not quite 4.

Wait. You did know it going in, yet continued to make this decision? Or you've gradually realized this? You seem to be saying both. In any case, my advice is public AAP. We have an older child doing just that, with two younger children in private. We are planning to move the oldest back in 9th.

OP. As I said, we initially thought social skills and emotional development was more important than academics. We’ve gradually come to feel that his current environment is creating boredom academically while also not supporting him well with regard to his sensitivity. Neither his academic nor his emotional/social development needs are being well met. We’re wondering if an environment more geared toward gifted children might be a better fit.

Then move your kid. Sounds like you know the answer. There are tons of smart kids in the area. Few are profoundly gifted where they need algebra in 4th grade. These are all good schools but they cater to the masses, not individuals, as most schools. To get into public in MoCo, they only take a limited number and you have to be in the 99% or better. Most don't get honors or better classes till middle school.

You could try some of the Catholic Schools. Some told me they allow kids to move ahead in subjects but you have to deal with the heavy one-sided religion that wasn't for us.

Anonymous wrote:Is he in a structured, traditional private or a progressive one? If the former you could try the latter which is supposed to better meet each child and his/her level and close the IQ & accomplishment gap.

There is also Waldorf for K-6 or 8 which does not bore a gifted bright child.

Can you recommend any progressive schools that allow significant differentiation? GDS is supposed to be progressive, but there isn’t much differentiation.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve hear public magnets tend now to be overcrowded, both in MoCo and Fairfax, and that they also tend not to differentiate much. They teach material that’s more advanced than the standard grade level, but that within the AAP programs, the kids are pretty much held at the same level. Is that true?

Coming from a big 3 the public magnets would likely feel "overcrowded" because their models are based on higher student/teacher ratios. I've heard that MoCo's magnets serve roughly the top 5% of the population, while Fairfax's AAP programs serve the top 20%. This probably has an impact on how differentiation is handled, depending on which system you're in.

In MoCo the process to get into a magnet middle school changed this year. Many more students applied than in the past. Many of the students who were accepted were *not* the students coming from magnet elementary programs.

Anonymous wrote:By differentiation, I do not mean a little more advanced work. I mean a 4th grader be allowed to join in on an advanced algebra class.

Why must it be the latter only? I totally consider "a little more advanced work" to be differentiation, and at that age, going beyond that strikes me personally as unnecessary. But that's just my view. We have a gifted kid too, and are fine with not turning elementary school into an extremely academically-intense experience. There will be plenty of time for that in middle and high school.

Anonymous wrote:OP can you confirm that you're looking for private only? I think a lot of gifted children end up at public magnets.

+1. Or public charters. We met a family that moved to Charlotte so that their highly gifted kid could go to this school (this was after they had tried private and the gifted program at their local school): https://www.scholarsacademy.org. Unfortunately I don't know if there is an equivalent school here in the area as they moved there from the Midwest.

I really do think there is a lot of misconception about gifted kids and, for the profoundly gifted, our education system (private included) is just not set up to serve them very well. And typically it's boys that struggle the most. Sometimes girls can be a bit more patient about sitting through material they already know but some boys just can't do it and they feel very frustrated (obviously some girls, too).

Another family we know felt they had no choice but to homeschool after having very frustrating experiences at a couple of different schools (again both public and private).

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems that schools like Sidwell, GDS, and STA don’t allow differentiation until 9th.

I have a hard time believing that this statement is 100 percent true.

It is true, for the most part, for younger elementary IME. For this reason, i am not sure why OP didn't know this going in. I don't mean to offend, but I thought it was commonly known among parents whose children attend these schools. The Big 3 and like private are not "rigorous" elementary schools. If I wanted more knowledge and skill acquisition, and perhaps more rigor too, whatever that means really, I would put my child in the neighborhood public elementary school.

OP here. OP did know this going in. Please read my Original Post to see why we are reconsidering our initial decisions, which were made when DS was not quite 4.

Wait. You did know it going in, yet continued to make this decision? Or you've gradually realized this? You seem to be saying both. In any case, my advice is public AAP. We have an older child doing just that, with two younger children in private. We are planning to move the oldest back in 9th.

OP. As I said, we initially thought social skills and emotional development was more important than academics. We’ve gradually come to feel that his current environment is creating boredom academically while also not supporting him well with regard to his sensitivity. Neither his academic nor his emotional/social development needs are being well met. We’re wondering if an environment more geared toward gifted children might be a better fit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems that schools like Sidwell, GDS, and STA don’t allow differentiation until 9th.

I have a hard time believing that this statement is 100 percent true.

It is true, for the most part, for younger elementary IME. For this reason, i am not sure why OP didn't know this going in. I don't mean to offend, but I thought it was commonly known among parents whose children attend these schools. The Big 3 and like private are not "rigorous" elementary schools. If I wanted more knowledge and skill acquisition, and perhaps more rigor too, whatever that means really, I would put my child in the neighborhood public elementary school.

OP here. OP did know this going in. Please read my Original Post to see why we are reconsidering our initial decisions, which were made when DS was not quite 4.

Wait. You did know it going in, yet continued to make this decision? Or you've gradually realized this? You seem to be saying both. In any case, my advice is public AAP. We have an older child doing just that, with two younger children in private. We are planning to move the oldest back in 9th.