gentry
Post 06/03/2018 22:19     Subject: Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
If my wife told me she wasn’t attracted to me I would man up and get it together, not be a sensitive pansy.

The fact he wants a divorce shows how lazy and uncaring he is about way more more than just his weight.


Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 21:29     Subject: Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
Anonymous wrote:Children? It matters. BTW Op, the issue of attraction .. that's on you. That's your problem. If you're that shallow. Why do sex?

Is this a joke? 80 friggin pounds. It's not shallow to not want to lay with an obese man. That's if he even can.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 21:18     Subject: Re:Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
He wants a divorce, you want out....what's the issue. Go gently into the night.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 21:08     Subject: Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
80 lbs in three years? Are you sure your DH is not struggling with depression or with hormonal imbalance?
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 20:30     Subject: Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
Don't be surprised if after the divorce he becomes fit and finds a younger wife.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 20:26     Subject: Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are obviously lots of issues here. If a guy said he was no longer attracted to his wife because she gained weight, he would get a lot of criticism. Reality is that attraction wanes for all kinds of reasons but given his immediate response was to want to divorce there is likely many complex factors at play.

Since neither of you want to be with the other and nothing major has happened, you should be able to separate pretty amicably. Find someone who is really health and fitness conscious.

I know two guys who really had gained weight due toot emotionally eating to deal with their marriage issues and when they got divorced they also then got very fit. The weight gain was just another symptoms of really unhealthy unhappy relationships.


Yep. I think OP is ignoring her role in this. The fact his immediate response was divorce is telling. I'd say the same if the gender roles were reversed as well.


+1

Few men who have fun, fit wives who don't nag and put out let themselves go like that.


NP. Don't underestimate the power of arrogance and denial. If he seriously thinks that nothing is wrong with his health, the comment would have hurt his pride a lot.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 20:23     Subject: Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are obviously lots of issues here. If a guy said he was no longer attracted to his wife because she gained weight, he would get a lot of criticism. Reality is that attraction wanes for all kinds of reasons but given his immediate response was to want to divorce there is likely many complex factors at play.

Since neither of you want to be with the other and nothing major has happened, you should be able to separate pretty amicably. Find someone who is really health and fitness conscious.

I know two guys who really had gained weight due toot emotionally eating to deal with their marriage issues and when they got divorced they also then got very fit. The weight gain was just another symptoms of really unhealthy unhappy relationships.


Yep. I think OP is ignoring her role in this. The fact his immediate response was divorce is telling. I'd say the same if the gender roles were reversed as well.


+1

Few men who have fun, fit wives who don't nag and put out let themselves go like that.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 20:16     Subject: Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
Anonymous wrote:There are obviously lots of issues here. If a guy said he was no longer attracted to his wife because she gained weight, he would get a lot of criticism. Reality is that attraction wanes for all kinds of reasons but given his immediate response was to want to divorce there is likely many complex factors at play.

Since neither of you want to be with the other and nothing major has happened, you should be able to separate pretty amicably. Find someone who is really health and fitness conscious.

I know two guys who really had gained weight due toot emotionally eating to deal with their marriage issues and when they got divorced they also then got very fit. The weight gain was just another symptoms of really unhealthy unhappy relationships.


Yep. I think OP is ignoring her role in this. The fact his immediate response was divorce is telling. I'd say the same if the gender roles were reversed as well.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 20:06     Subject: Re:Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're not attracted to him. You told him. He wants a divorce.

I mean what were you expecting? For him to be a woman and sulk and beg to stick around?

Go out and find a hottie now.


I agreed with you until you said “be a woman.”

Setting aside the misogyny. You don’t know women. You sound pretty stupid. I know more men that women who begged and cried and pleaded with their wives to stay even as the wives were cheating.


Fine - change it to 'For him to be co-dependent and emotionally insecure? To sulk and beg to stick around?"

Either way, I'm not sure what OP was hoping for.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 19:52     Subject: Re:Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
The man obviously knows the truth, which is that when a woman is no longer attracted to you - especially if she tells you directly to your face - then you are done and there is no getting it back.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 19:49     Subject: Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
There are obviously lots of issues here. If a guy said he was no longer attracted to his wife because she gained weight, he would get a lot of criticism. Reality is that attraction wanes for all kinds of reasons but given his immediate response was to want to divorce there is likely many complex factors at play.

Since neither of you want to be with the other and nothing major has happened, you should be able to separate pretty amicably. Find someone who is really health and fitness conscious.

I know two guys who really had gained weight due toot emotionally eating to deal with their marriage issues and when they got divorced they also then got very fit. The weight gain was just another symptoms of really unhealthy unhappy relationships.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 19:42     Subject: Re:Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
I think now you get divorced. Even if he loses the weight, he's not going to forget what you said.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 19:10     Subject: Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
What about 'for better or worse'? Don't throw the (big) baby out with the bath water.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 19:06     Subject: Re:Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're not attracted to him. You told him. He wants a divorce.

I mean what were you expecting? For him to be a woman and sulk and beg to stick around?

Go out and find a hottie now.


I agreed with you until you said “be a woman.”

Setting aside the misogyny. You don’t know women. You sound pretty stupid. I know more men that women who begged and cried and pleaded with their wives to stay even as the wives were cheating.


Men are idiots, women are evil
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 18:58     Subject: Re:Told DH I’m no longer attracted to him
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're not attracted to him. You told him. He wants a divorce.

I mean what were you expecting? For him to be a woman and sulk and beg to stick around?

Go out and find a hottie now.


I agreed with you until you said “be a woman.”

Setting aside the misogyny. You don’t know women. You sound pretty stupid. I know more men that women who begged and cried and pleaded with their wives to stay even as the wives were cheating.


Ok.