Anonymous wrote:If they’re in 4th grade and good friends your DD will be telling you soon enough.
My DD has a knack for knowing everything about her friends. It will probably Come up where the grandparents live, where they vacation. when parents moved here, Saturday language classes, etc.
I have always thought this was a negative thing, but a coworker who is Chinese asked another coworker “what are you”to another (who it turns out was Thai descent). She said she was interested and how else would she have found out.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. No need to be hostile. I am about as pro-immigrant as it gets. But I know where all of my white and black friends are from. Where their parents live. Where they like to vacation. This is just normal chit chat when you are not worried about offending someone. Isn’t this just how new friends get to know each other? The girls seem to really really enjoy each other.
But you don't want to know where she's from. You want to know her ethnicity.
Well, I am curious if the mom grew up here, yes. Does that make me a bad person?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You can't derive anything from their last name and make an educated guess from there?
OP here. Like I said, I think they are most likely Indian.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You can't derive anything from their last name and make an educated guess from there?
OP here. Like I said, I think they are most likely Indian.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. No need to be hostile. I am about as pro-immigrant as it gets. But I know where all of my white and black friends are from. Where their parents live. Where they like to vacation. This is just normal chit chat when you are not worried about offending someone. Isn’t this just how new friends get to know each other? The girls seem to really really enjoy each other.
But you don't want to know where she's from. You want to know her ethnicity.
Well, I am curious if the mom grew up here, yes. Does that make me a bad person?
Anonymous wrote:You can't derive anything from their last name and make an educated guess from there?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. No need to be hostile. I am about as pro-immigrant as it gets. But I know where all of my white and black friends are from. Where their parents live. Where they like to vacation. This is just normal chit chat when you are not worried about offending someone. Isn’t this just how new friends get to know each other? The girls seem to really really enjoy each other.
But you don't want to know where she's from. You want to know her ethnicity.
Anonymous wrote:Why? Will it make you feel differently about this person? Will it affect the way you interact with them? Does it have any bearing whatsoever on your life at all?
Honestly, unless she brings it up, don't ask. There's no way to ask without sounding like a jerk. I will never understand some people's need to categorize everyone they meet.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
It's sad that the culture of perceived microaggression has made asking someone where they are from a loaded question. I grew up understanding that this a basic conversation starter. SO much better than "what do you do?"
Agree with PP that asking if they grew up in the area is a reasonable alternative.
Well, sure, if you ask everybody, "Where are you from?" Do you do that? And what if OP's child's friend's mother answers, "Virginia"?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. No need to be hostile. I am about as pro-immigrant as it gets. But I know where all of my white and black friends are from. Where their parents live. Where they like to vacation. This is just normal chit chat when you are not worried about offending someone. Isn’t this just how new friends get to know each other? The girls seem to really really enjoy each other.
Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your ethnicity?