The best thing you can do for yourself is find a new girlfriend. Date her for a bit and then your wife will want you back. Works *every* time. But you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and chasing after your wife - which will just make you seem pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:I believe my wife had an affair because of what I was lacking and not giving her. I know that if I can work on that and if we learn better communication, we would be so strong as a couple.
I have been devoted to her for so many years and I will do anything to save our marriage.

Then I think you need to keep trying, follow your gut and ignore these other PPs. Good luck.

I applaud you for bring loyal and wanting her back, brother! We need more of your kind in this world. Stay strong!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am seeing a therapist but for another matter.
I truly believe we can salvage our marriage

But your wife doesn’t. Just because you think she should or could has no bearing on anything. You do sound like a little kid wanting a pony from the way you’ve been responding.

It may have been a little dramatic to cry, but your friend is trying to tell it like it is. I’m sorry, OP.

I think once a woman has decided its done - it’s done. Just because you’ve had a come to Jesus moment doesn’t mean she will. I’m sorry, you really should grasp that it’s time to move on. Doing the pick me dance at this point is futile

You should go to counseling OP. It will help to grieve your marriage in a healthy way. Also, tell your wife to leave the house.

Does your wife want to save your marriage?

I believe my wife had an affair because of what I was lacking and not giving her. I know that if I can work on that and if we learn better communication, we would be so strong as a couple.
I have been devoted to her for so many years and I will do anything to save our marriage.

Anonymous wrote:I am seeing a therapist but for another matter.
I truly believe we can salvage our marriage

But your wife doesn’t. Just because you think she should or could has no bearing on anything. You do sound like a little kid wanting a pony from the way you’ve been responding.

It may have been a little dramatic to cry, but your friend is trying to tell it like it is. I’m sorry, OP.

I am seeing a therapist but for another matter.
I truly believe we can salvage our marriage

Anonymous wrote:We are starting therapy.
I was just surprised my friend cried. It's made me feel weird and I don't know why. She just said I am worth so much more and that it hurts to watch me fall apart the way I am.

All I want to do is save the marriage. After therapy this situation could do a complete 180 and we may have a chance of getting back together and saving our marriage.

Good luck with therapy OP, and I mean this sincerely. Perhaps you should also consider a therapist of your own to help you cope with the situation.

I don't think I am living in lala land. I believe we lost our way and that my wife just needs reminding what we had and what we have.

Anonymous wrote:You need to grab your self by the you know whats and get on with your life.

+1000. For goodness sake, it’s not lack of self worth, you’ve lost your mind ! Your wife is having sex with someone else and doesn’t miss you ! You don’t have a partner anymore. I like this quote ‘ when someone shows you who they are - believe them! Maya Angelou


Btdt

Ps she should go to counseling while you are physically separated to see if she still wants to be married.

I can see why your friend sees you as having low self esteem. You seem to not feel you have any right to any expectations of your wife. That you are okay with being her sloppy seconds and taking whatever fragments of herself she will share with you, even though she is in a relationship with another man.

You do deserve better. You deserve to have a wife committed to you and your marriage. You are worth being treated with respect but you don't seem t see that. You can't single handedly save your marriage and it doesn't' sound like your wife has taken any steps towards showing anything other than she wants to keep both of you for now.

Your wife is seeing another man.

You are living in lalaland that this will all work out.

Nothing can work out until your wife commits to you and the marriage.

Anonymous wrote:As she said my self worth is so low it breaks her heart.
My DW cheated, says she no longer loves me and doesn't miss me. She is also still seeing the
guy she cheated with for sex.
I feel as crazy as it sounds that if we get through this, we will be incredibly strong as a couple. I know I made mistakes during our marriage but I truly believe that with therapy we can make things work.
Is this too much to hope for? Is my friend a bit OTT for crying?

Yes, she sounds like she wants to be wife #2.