Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there any clubs without toxic parents? These descriptions make me shudder. I have only been around a few of these parents. They pretend they are welcoming and encouraging to everyone and meanwhile they scheme and gossip and talk to the coach about how this child is not very good and should be transferred and this child doesn't create the "right" environment.
How can I avoid these people! In Potomac. Please don't tell me to move. I have thought of this but can't for a few years at least.

I don't think it's usually the club that is responsible for a toxic environment, just something that sometimes happens in situations where there's a combination of one or more scheming parents and a weak coach. We've been very happy overall with the teams our kids (boys) have played on at both Potomac and Bethesda.

We found it can vary vastly amongst age groups within the same Club. Same Club--one kid's age group was wonderful. It had to do with the way the Age group head ran it. He made it about unity amongst the teams. Activities were mixed amongst team colors.

Other kid's age group is very toxic--with A team parents glaring at everyone else, swamping the sidelines at every practice and openly criticizing all the other players/teams. First team is held up on a pedestal and the kids are nasty and cliquish, just like parents. They won't pass to other kids not on their team in scrimmages/practices. Needless to say, even with most likely promotion to said team, kid doesn't want to play there. Who wants a bunch of jerks for teammates? Too toxic.

Ding, Ding, Ding. That has been my experience with our U9 and U10 top teams at a big club. I had to talk to the coach and ask the coach not play my kid up any longer, it stressed my kid out too much because kids not passing, joysticking A team parents yelling at my kid what to do, and it was just not any fun.

Anonymous wrote:Megalomaniac coach at McLean Youth Soccer. Vengeful. Scares Players. Blackballs families. Turns on his fellow coaching staff. Ruins soccer. Any other option better then this.

U12?

The best player on our team made varsity as freshman and averaged a good 20 goals/assists combined per season. Unfortunately his dad was a horrible person who gossiped, spread rumors, riled up other parents and constantly complained and talked about our coach’s decision making behind his back, even though this coach had helped his player take his game to another level. We had to let the player go when his dad took advantage of our generosity for the umpteenth time, pulled up a player who’d been really stepping it up on the second team and he blossomed into one of the best players on the team. The team as a whole now plays much better as a unit and averages one more goal per game than they did before. Sometimes you choose the parents and attitude is everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there any clubs without toxic parents? These descriptions make me shudder. I have only been around a few of these parents. They pretend they are welcoming and encouraging to everyone and meanwhile they scheme and gossip and talk to the coach about how this child is not very good and should be transferred and this child doesn't create the "right" environment.
How can I avoid these people! In Potomac. Please don't tell me to move. I have thought of this but can't for a few years at least.

I don't think it's usually the club that is responsible for a toxic environment, just something that sometimes happens in situations where there's a combination of one or more scheming parents and a weak coach. We've been very happy overall with the teams our kids (boys) have played on at both Potomac and Bethesda.

We found it can vary vastly amongst age groups within the same Club. Same Club--one kid's age group was wonderful. It had to do with the way the Age group head ran it. He made it about unity amongst the teams. Activities were mixed amongst team colors.

Other kid's age group is very toxic--with A team parents glaring at everyone else, swamping the sidelines at every practice and openly criticizing all the other players/teams. First team is held up on a pedestal and the kids are nasty and cliquish, just like parents. They won't pass to other kids not on their team in scrimmages/practices. Needless to say, even with most likely promotion to said team, kid doesn't want to play there. Who wants a bunch of jerks for teammates? Too toxic.

Anonymous wrote:Are there any clubs without toxic parents? These descriptions make me shudder. I have only been around a few of these parents. They pretend they are welcoming and encouraging to everyone and meanwhile they scheme and gossip and talk to the coach about how this child is not very good and should be transferred and this child doesn't create the "right" environment.
How can I avoid these people! In Potomac. Please don't tell me to move. I have thought of this but can't for a few years at least.

I don't think it's usually the club that is responsible for a toxic environment, just something that sometimes happens in situations where there's a combination of one or more scheming parents and a weak coach. We've been very happy overall with the teams our kids (boys) have played on at both Potomac and Bethesda.

Are there any clubs without toxic parents? These descriptions make me shudder. I have only been around a few of these parents. They pretend they are welcoming and encouraging to everyone and meanwhile they scheme and gossip and talk to the coach about how this child is not very good and should be transferred and this child doesn't create the "right" environment.
How can I avoid these people! In Potomac. Please don't tell me to move. I have thought of this but can't for a few years at least.

"Toxic" is when a coach poisons the environment such that it is hard for players and parents to want to be part of the organization, and you see the team not only play poorly, but players leaving and choosing other teams to get away from the coach ....... it is like an infection that spreads and affects everyone/everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are changing teams this year, what are your reasons?

Switched last year due to toxic environment and lazy coaching.

Can you define "toxic"? I hear this term thrown around a lot when speaking of travel soccer.

PP here. "Toxic" in my case means feeling paralyzed that there is nothing we could do to change the situation. Coach/TD had favorites developed years prior and were unapproachable. Team roster at 22. Parents had individual agendas, and conversations invariably turned into futile bitch sessions. Nobody was happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are changing teams this year, what are your reasons?

Switched last year due to toxic environment and lazy coaching.

Can you define "toxic"? I hear this term thrown around a lot when speaking of travel soccer.

Not that poster, but when I throw that term out I am talking about the parents and the players. The parents that are competitive and all they do is try to get an angle and gossip about every player in the age group. The Clubs where there are definitely a cohort of kiss-ups that get what they want. The A team with a bunch of snotty kids that act superior and talk sh*t about the lower teams---tease one another about dropping down. And, a TD/coaching staff that fosters this environment by turning a blind eye to kids with shitty attitudes. You can see how the kids treat the refs on the field and other players. The superiority complex is thick. For development, it is a shitty learning environment. In older years, you have a bunch of self-entitled kids talking back to the refs and obnoxious parents on the sidelines.

We left one of those places and it was a breath of fresh air.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are changing teams this year, what are your reasons?

Switched last year due to toxic environment and lazy coaching.

Can you define "toxic"? I hear this term thrown around a lot when speaking of travel soccer.

We were not prepared for all the driving and tournaments at our VA big club so DC accepted a roster spot on a smaller NCSL team.

In a nut shell we are all hoping for more development over team-building and winning games.

This is for U10.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Coach does not have a system for rotating players during games. It's pretty much, if he happens to notice you on the sideline during the game, he puts you in.

This is a big problem. My DH coaches both travel and rec. He is assistant coach for rec (does not have time to be HC) however after the first rec game he came home so frustrated because the HC did not come prepared with the line up. If you do not have a line up, exactly what you are saying happens. Kids get overlooked and the only ones who do not are the ones who are pushy about asking to get put in (which is usually a no-no to do). After that first game, my DH always did the line up so that everyone played AND so that there is not pandemonium during the game.

Shocking to me that a travel coach would not come up with a line up. that coach should not be coaching for a paid league! My DH puts so much time into this, to the point that is very irritated when a kid cancels last second because is "screws up his line up" as he says.

I am that OP. I agree. it's shocking. Many other parents on the travel team are equally frustrated, including two parents who coach rec and thus know how it's done.

Anonymous wrote:Coach does not have a system for rotating players during games. It's pretty much, if he happens to notice you on the sideline during the game, he puts you in.

This is a big problem. My DH coaches both travel and rec. He is assistant coach for rec (does not have time to be HC) however after the first rec game he came home so frustrated because the HC did not come prepared with the line up. If you do not have a line up, exactly what you are saying happens. Kids get overlooked and the only ones who do not are the ones who are pushy about asking to get put in (which is usually a no-no to do). After that first game, my DH always did the line up so that everyone played AND so that there is not pandemonium during the game.

Shocking to me that a travel coach would not come up with a line up. that coach should not be coaching for a paid league! My DH puts so much time into this, to the point that is very irritated when a kid cancels last second because is "screws up his line up" as he says.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^Is this CW or someone else?

I bet $10 its Jahon.

My bet is someone else (I won't name). Jaon was always fair to our former MYS player.

Coach does not have a system for rotating players during games. It's pretty much, if he happens to notice you on the sideline during the game, he puts you in.