Anonymous wrote:Op here.
Myself and my friends are very ambitious. Top of the class, ambitious careers, eager and interested in the greater world and trends. I was the first to settle down and married my now husband when we met at a prestigious grad program. He was the first person in his family to go to college and he was so smart in academics. When we married I was so happy and felt I had picked my perfect match. But then I noticed he took a small job at a small company in the middle of nowhere and I didn’t care much as my career was impressive and occupied me. Meanwhile a few years later my friends are settling down and it’s obvious they are also interested in and seeking ambitious accomplished men, when we get together it’s all about “ wow your man is so smart” or “ wow your husband just made millions” and then they turn to me and are like, “ oh John is so adorable!”
I don’t like that condescending tone. Some have actually told me they are so surprised I ended up with him.
It gets to me.
I also feel like there must be something wrong with me that I wasn’t able to marry a “catch”
You chose your husband for several reasons. If those reasons no longer apply or no longer resonate with you, do him a favor and leave. But I have to ask, if a prestigious job was so important to you, why didn't you speak up when he was choosing his small job in the middle of nowhere? Seems to me you could've influenced his decision if you cared that much, but for whatever reason you didn't. You valued different things than your friends did, you need to mature a bit and stop being so insecure.