Anonymous wrote:OP - the affair has lasted two years or more? This guy hasn't said he loves you. He likes the sex.

Love?

No.

I love him, he loves the sex. Ding!

If he loved you, you'd know without him saying it. If you love him (as opposed to want him just for yourself, which is very different), say goodbye and leave him to his family.

OP - the affair has lasted two years or more? This guy hasn't said he loves you. He likes the sex.

Love?

No.

Anonymous wrote:Even if you don’t say it, you want to and you want him to love you back.

You caught feelings and deep ones at that. Why don’t you just tell him you think it’s getting too serious and end this before your heart gets totally broken when he moves on.

I think this is the right answer. Where I started a page back. That's going to be a challenge.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t say it. Even if you feel it. And push down the feeling until you don’t feel it anymore.

Posts like this make me think hell does exist.

(Push away all the love, just focus on breaking your marriage vows for physical pleasure, but leave love out of it!)

Don’t say it. Even if you feel it. And push down the feeling until you don’t feel it anymore.

Even if you don’t say it, you want to and you want him to love you back.

You caught feelings and deep ones at that. Why don’t you just tell him you think it’s getting too serious and end this before your heart gets totally broken when he moves on.

Anonymous wrote:Don't say it. It only makes things worse.

This is what I think. I need to button it up.

OP here. I'd be thrilled if he said it back. or said it first. But I'm pragmatic and not expecting that.

I've already decided if I leave DH I'd leave AP as well because it works when we are both married. It doesn't work if one of us isn't married. It's an imbalance of power and time and I certainly don't have the temperment to be a side piece (I know I am ... but in a very different way).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- are you the woman in this affair?

Did your AP ever set any ground rules, including making sure neither of you develop any emotions.

No stated ground rules like that. But implied and we both know it. (Of course I'm the woman.)
It's a fairly long term affair (>2 years). So there is more than nothing as far as feelings go - we both like and enjoy each other. But I'm not holding out for him to leave his wife -- I'd be far more likely to leave my husband and ditch ap at the same time.

Based on this answer, he is not your soulmate. You should resist that stupid urge like the plague. Seriously no good will come of it.

Maybe give the neighbor a shot after all.

[quote=Anonymous]Why would you have sex with someone you don’t love?[/quote]

Sex with someone you love is called masturbating.

OP - sounds like the only thing holding you back is that he will either not say it back or freak out.

What if he said it first? Be honest. You’d probably be thrilled.

[quote=Anonymous]Why would you have sex with someone you don’t love?[/quote]

Not everyone went to the prestigious Walt Disney School of Fairytales and were indoctrinated with the idea that you're only allowed to have sex with your Prince Charming or Princess Whoever.

[quote=Anonymous]Why would you have sex with someone you don’t love?[/quote]

Horny?

Why would you have sex with someone you don’t love?