Anonymous
05/16/2018 14:43
Subject: s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Yes, but I didn’t have kids, so I just got divorced. Best decision ever.
Anonymous
05/16/2018 14:38
Subject: s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Public position - not sure how anyone does that, just gets up and walks away from a family, job, etc.
Internally - there hasn't been a year since I was married that I haven't had the thought enter my brain. The freedom of just disappearing and only being responsible for yourself. Some years, I had that thought too many times.
I think most married people have this thought cross their mind (early when they are exhausted by having kids, and later in the marriage when they think of how things might have been different if only...)... they also often fantasize about having sex with other people - don't even try to convince us that you don't. But OP is on a whole other level of hate and appears to be preparing to actually do it
Anonymous
05/16/2018 14:25
Subject: s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Public position - not sure how anyone does that, just gets up and walks away from a family, job, etc.
Internally - there hasn't been a year since I was married that I haven't had the thought enter my brain. The freedom of just disappearing and only being responsible for yourself. Some years, I had that thought too many times.
Internally - there hasn't been a year since I was married that I haven't had the thought enter my brain. The freedom of just disappearing and only being responsible for yourself. Some years, I had that thought too many times.
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:51
Subject: s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:just walking about of their life one day?
I was reading the thread down below about the middle aged woman who is planning to leave her husband when her youngest kid goes off to college. I'm surprised people are calling troll because I can relate! I have often fantasized about taking some cash out of my checking account and just walking out of my life and disappearing for a while.
I wouldn't do that because my kids are a lot younger and I don't want to scar them but I've thought about it. Like a lot of women, everyone in my life takes and takes and takes and very rarely gives back. I have like two or three people in my life who truly care about ME as a human being who exists in her own right and not as a function of what I do or give to other people (and I don't include my husband or 4 kids on this list even though two of them are old enough not to be so selfish and ungrateful). Yes sometimes I do fantasize about showing them how much they all take for granted. I have to take care of all these people and no one takes care of me. Yes I know, that's what it means to be a woman.
Can anyone else relate? What should I do now to make sure I don't end up like that lady who is planning to burst her husband's bubble the second her youngest kid is off to college and out of the nest?
speaking as a husband, I'm sure yours can relate as well. this isn't a fantasy exclusive to mothers
Most women do all of the care taking and emotional heavy lifting in their marriages.
That's partly why so many men get remarried so quickly after their wives die. Marriage is the much better option for men than it is for women.
+1
Now I know why MIL is so very, very bitter. Sh*tty family = sh*tty life.
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:51
Subject: Re:s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There was an Anne Tyler book called "Ladder of Years" in which a woman is on vacation with her husband and kids at Bethany Beach and then just walks off to start a new life. ... Finds an apartment and a secretary job in a small town.
It seems like a lot of people found a lot to like about the concept, but sorry, it seems utterly ridiculous to me.
I'm going to look at that book. My weird fantasy is to just leave, change my name, get a small apartment, and work in one of those small town diners in the south where the servers shout orders to the cooks and all the workers and customers seem to know each other. I have no idea why that of all things. I can't do it because I could never leave my child.
+ 1
Me too! I think I got the idea from that Julia Roberts movie - Sleeping with the Enemy.
My husband is not abusive, he's not even a bad guy. I think we just ran out of steam. We've been married for 20 years now. Back in the day, we'd both be dead by now or almost. Maybe human beings aren't really meant to "mate for life" at 22 when lifespans are now so long.
Hell NO we weren't meant to mate for life. About 2-4 years, actually. For women, when the youngest is weaned, onto the next guy. It makes for a better mix of genes, and more likely that one or more will survive to adulthood. You can tell it should be about that long because we get bored and totally sexually uninterested around 2-4 years.
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:50
Subject: Re:s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There was an Anne Tyler book called "Ladder of Years" in which a woman is on vacation with her husband and kids at Bethany Beach and then just walks off to start a new life. ... Finds an apartment and a secretary job in a small town.
It seems like a lot of people found a lot to like about the concept, but sorry, it seems utterly ridiculous to me.
I'm going to look at that book. My weird fantasy is to just leave, change my name, get a small apartment, and work in one of those small town diners in the south where the servers shout orders to the cooks and all the workers and customers seem to know each other. I have no idea why that of all things. I can't do it because I could never leave my child.
+ 1
Me too! I think I got the idea from that Julia Roberts movie - Sleeping with the Enemy.
My husband is not abusive, he's not even a bad guy. I think we just ran out of steam. We've been married for 20 years now. Back in the day, we'd both be dead by now or almost. Maybe human beings aren't really meant to "mate for life" at 22 when lifespans are now so long.
Relationships run out of steam when the fire underneath isn't tended to. Yes, it's a pain in the butt to have to constantly be throwing logs on the fire but that's life.
NP. How do you throw logs onto the fire? What do you do exactly to keep it going?
Frequent sex really helps especially a willingness to trying new things which always brings us back for more. We also make a point to get out on our own once a week or so plus get away for a weekend a couple of times a year. This all takes a little effort but that effort is part of showing each other that we care.
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:48
Subject: s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:just walking about of their life one day?
I was reading the thread down below about the middle aged woman who is planning to leave her husband when her youngest kid goes off to college. I'm surprised people are calling troll because I can relate! I have often fantasized about taking some cash out of my checking account and just walking out of my life and disappearing for a while.
I wouldn't do that because my kids are a lot younger and I don't want to scar them but I've thought about it. Like a lot of women, everyone in my life takes and takes and takes and very rarely gives back. I have like two or three people in my life who truly care about ME as a human being who exists in her own right and not as a function of what I do or give to other people (and I don't include my husband or 4 kids on this list even though two of them are old enough not to be so selfish and ungrateful). Yes sometimes I do fantasize about showing them how much they all take for granted. I have to take care of all these people and no one takes care of me. Yes I know, that's what it means to be a woman.
Can anyone else relate? What should I do now to make sure I don't end up like that lady who is planning to burst her husband's bubble the second her youngest kid is off to college and out of the nest?
speaking as a husband, I'm sure yours can relate as well. this isn't a fantasy exclusive to mothers
Most women do all of the care taking and emotional heavy lifting in their marriages.
That's partly why so many men get remarried so quickly after their wives die. Marriage is the much better option for men than it is for women.
Better option for men?!?!? 29% of wives are SAH. I would say it's a much better deal for women
Says someone who only counts paid work as work, and has no idea about every other thing a SAH wife does on a daily basis. (NP)
Going to the gym and Starbucks must be so hard for you. I don't know how you do it all
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:45
Subject: s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:just walking about of their life one day?
I was reading the thread down below about the middle aged woman who is planning to leave her husband when her youngest kid goes off to college. I'm surprised people are calling troll because I can relate! I have often fantasized about taking some cash out of my checking account and just walking out of my life and disappearing for a while.
I wouldn't do that because my kids are a lot younger and I don't want to scar them but I've thought about it. Like a lot of women, everyone in my life takes and takes and takes and very rarely gives back. I have like two or three people in my life who truly care about ME as a human being who exists in her own right and not as a function of what I do or give to other people (and I don't include my husband or 4 kids on this list even though two of them are old enough not to be so selfish and ungrateful). Yes sometimes I do fantasize about showing them how much they all take for granted. I have to take care of all these people and no one takes care of me. Yes I know, that's what it means to be a woman.
Can anyone else relate? What should I do now to make sure I don't end up like that lady who is planning to burst her husband's bubble the second her youngest kid is off to college and out of the nest?
speaking as a husband, I'm sure yours can relate as well. this isn't a fantasy exclusive to mothers
Most women do all of the care taking and emotional heavy lifting in their marriages.
That's partly why so many men get remarried so quickly after their wives die. Marriage is the much better option for men than it is for women.
Better option for men?!?!? 29% of wives are SAH. I would say it's a much better deal for women
Says someone who only counts paid work as work, and has no idea about every other thing a SAH wife does on a daily basis. (NP)
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:45
Subject: Re:s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
hah, I'm a husband (two working parent house) and I share equally in the family "lift" (and my wife has said that for the doubters), and I feel guilty for fantasizing at least monthly about getting away for just a few days... usually I fantasize about retreating to a remote cabin in the mountain, but sometimes I mix it up and dream of being at a condo overlooking the beach or a resort in the carribean. in the end I know after say 4 days I'd WANT my wife and kids there too, but a few days alone would be amazing
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:42
Subject: Re:s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Of course I do but when I tuck my children in one last time just before I go to bed I get a good reminder of how important I am in their lives. My DH does appreciate what I do but I'd love a two week break from it all once a year!
That you can do. Find a couple of like minded girlfriends and take a two vacation every year. BTW more likely to stay out too much trouble if you go with married gfs.
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:41
Subject: Re:s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There was an Anne Tyler book called "Ladder of Years" in which a woman is on vacation with her husband and kids at Bethany Beach and then just walks off to start a new life. ... Finds an apartment and a secretary job in a small town.
It seems like a lot of people found a lot to like about the concept, but sorry, it seems utterly ridiculous to me.
I'm going to look at that book. My weird fantasy is to just leave, change my name, get a small apartment, and work in one of those small town diners in the south where the servers shout orders to the cooks and all the workers and customers seem to know each other. I have no idea why that of all things. I can't do it because I could never leave my child.
+ 1
Me too! I think I got the idea from that Julia Roberts movie - Sleeping with the Enemy.
My husband is not abusive, he's not even a bad guy. I think we just ran out of steam. We've been married for 20 years now. Back in the day, we'd both be dead by now or almost. Maybe human beings aren't really meant to "mate for life" at 22 when lifespans are now so long.
Relationships run out of steam when the fire underneath isn't tended to. Yes, it's a pain in the butt to have to constantly be throwing logs on the fire but that's life.
NP. How do you throw logs onto the fire? What do you do exactly to keep it going?
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:38
Subject: s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:just walking about of their life one day?
I was reading the thread down below about the middle aged woman who is planning to leave her husband when her youngest kid goes off to college. I'm surprised people are calling troll because I can relate! I have often fantasized about taking some cash out of my checking account and just walking out of my life and disappearing for a while.
I wouldn't do that because my kids are a lot younger and I don't want to scar them but I've thought about it. Like a lot of women, everyone in my life takes and takes and takes and very rarely gives back. I have like two or three people in my life who truly care about ME as a human being who exists in her own right and not as a function of what I do or give to other people (and I don't include my husband or 4 kids on this list even though two of them are old enough not to be so selfish and ungrateful). Yes sometimes I do fantasize about showing them how much they all take for granted. I have to take care of all these people and no one takes care of me. Yes I know, that's what it means to be a woman.
Can anyone else relate? What should I do now to make sure I don't end up like that lady who is planning to burst her husband's bubble the second her youngest kid is off to college and out of the nest?
speaking as a husband, I'm sure yours can relate as well. this isn't a fantasy exclusive to mothers
Most women do all of the care taking and emotional heavy lifting in their marriages.
That's partly why so many men get remarried so quickly after their wives die. Marriage is the much better option for men than it is for women.
Better option for men?!?!? 29% of wives are SAH. I would say it's a much better deal for women
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:35
Subject: Re:s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There was an Anne Tyler book called "Ladder of Years" in which a woman is on vacation with her husband and kids at Bethany Beach and then just walks off to start a new life. ... Finds an apartment and a secretary job in a small town.
It seems like a lot of people found a lot to like about the concept, but sorry, it seems utterly ridiculous to me.
I'm going to look at that book. My weird fantasy is to just leave, change my name, get a small apartment, and work in one of those small town diners in the south where the servers shout orders to the cooks and all the workers and customers seem to know each other. I have no idea why that of all things. I can't do it because I could never leave my child.
+ 1
Me too! I think I got the idea from that Julia Roberts movie - Sleeping with the Enemy.
My husband is not abusive, he's not even a bad guy. I think we just ran out of steam. We've been married for 20 years now. Back in the day, we'd both be dead by now or almost. Maybe human beings aren't really meant to "mate for life" at 22 when lifespans are now so long.
Relationships run out of steam when the fire underneath isn't tended to. Yes, it's a pain in the butt to have to constantly be throwing logs on the fire but that's life.
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:35
Subject: s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:just walking about of their life one day?
I was reading the thread down below about the middle aged woman who is planning to leave her husband when her youngest kid goes off to college. I'm surprised people are calling troll because I can relate! I have often fantasized about taking some cash out of my checking account and just walking out of my life and disappearing for a while.
I wouldn't do that because my kids are a lot younger and I don't want to scar them but I've thought about it. Like a lot of women, everyone in my life takes and takes and takes and very rarely gives back. I have like two or three people in my life who truly care about ME as a human being who exists in her own right and not as a function of what I do or give to other people (and I don't include my husband or 4 kids on this list even though two of them are old enough not to be so selfish and ungrateful). Yes sometimes I do fantasize about showing them how much they all take for granted. I have to take care of all these people and no one takes care of me. Yes I know, that's what it means to be a woman.
Can anyone else relate? What should I do now to make sure I don't end up like that lady who is planning to burst her husband's bubble the second her youngest kid is off to college and out of the nest?
speaking as a husband, I'm sure yours can relate as well. this isn't a fantasy exclusive to mothers
Most women do all of the care taking and emotional heavy lifting in their marriages.
That's partly why so many men get remarried so quickly after their wives die. Marriage is the much better option for men than it is for women.
They also are responsible for all the drama and nagging in their marriages too. I don't know a single divorced man that is looking to remarry. I know multiple women that are
Anonymous
05/16/2018 12:33
Subject: s/o Does anyone else fantasize about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:just walking about of their life one day?
I was reading the thread down below about the middle aged woman who is planning to leave her husband when her youngest kid goes off to college. I'm surprised people are calling troll because I can relate! I have often fantasized about taking some cash out of my checking account and just walking out of my life and disappearing for a while.
I wouldn't do that because my kids are a lot younger and I don't want to scar them but I've thought about it. Like a lot of women, everyone in my life takes and takes and takes and very rarely gives back. I have like two or three people in my life who truly care about ME as a human being who exists in her own right and not as a function of what I do or give to other people (and I don't include my husband or 4 kids on this list even though two of them are old enough not to be so selfish and ungrateful). Yes sometimes I do fantasize about showing them how much they all take for granted. I have to take care of all these people and no one takes care of me. Yes I know, that's what it means to be a woman.
Can anyone else relate? What should I do now to make sure I don't end up like that lady who is planning to burst her husband's bubble the second her youngest kid is off to college and out of the nest?
speaking as a husband, I'm sure yours can relate as well. this isn't a fantasy exclusive to mothers
Most women do all of the care taking and emotional heavy lifting in their marriages.
That's partly why so many men get remarried so quickly after their wives die. Marriage is the much better option for men than it is for women.
Lol! Who are those men marrying? Women? So wouldn't the women be getting remarried too?