Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daily blowjobs.

Always the troll. Sex nor blowjobs make a marriage.

It's a healthy balance with communication being #1.

Yes they do. If everything else is a mess, hot sex won't save it. If everything else is great, lack of hot sex will hurt it.

Daily seems absurd though, aside from on vacation. I'd be thrilled with weekly. Or even monthly.

-NP

Radical Acceptance

We don't let people outside our own body (including each other) control our thoughts/feelings/emotions/actions, we accept that we own our own thoughts/feelings/emotions/actions.

We don't keep track chores, sex, dates, how many times we talked today, etc.

Sex as frequently as possible, and always help her first.

Lots of 4-letters words that end in -al.

Anonymous wrote:Both of you taking care of household and childcare responsibilities. If you both are home, it should be 50-50. I find it easier to have everyone chip in 10 minutes (kids too) to clean up each night.

Then you can hit the couch or bed at the same time.

It is never 50-50. Do your best. Partners do not keep score and neither do they take one another for granted.

Anonymous wrote:Going to bed at the same time when possible. This makes time for sex, cuddling, talk, or just one foot touching each other as you both snore away.

DH and I have a very strong marriage and very active sexlife. Our secret is seperate rooms.

I do agree with PP though. We make time for talking by cuddling in the morning as well as spending our evenings together. We also talk to each other on our commute.

#1 is really liking and admiring your spouse as a person.

Anonymous wrote:Daily blowjobs.

Always the troll. Sex nor blowjobs make a marriage.

It's a healthy balance with communication being #1.

Be your spouse's friend. That encompasses a lot of the other suggestions like spending time together and finding joint activities. So many people make time for their friends but not their spouse, but it's important to remember that just because you might have been in the same location together all weekend doesn't mean you actually quality time together. I know we can spend all day together with the kids and still feel like we never actually spoke or connected.

Daily blowjobs.

Being observant about the happiness level of your partner. It's like a garden. If you see a flower drooping you give it water then not when its on death's door.

If you see your partner is sad figure out what will fix it and do that. If you do this all the time you'll just need little adjustments like a date night or a gift or doing the laundry or giving a BJ but if you wait until things are dire you might not be able to save it.

So all these other things pps are mentioning are good but they're all meaningless if they don't take into account the needs of your SPECIFIC partner. So I think, 'mood vigilance and action' is the most important one.

I'd say we have a good marriages and we do all of the above except DH isn't in shape. It takes a toll on my attraction for him.

We love doing things together but have our own interests
Mutual respect on many dimensions
Accepting of different POV's
An active sex life even after many years

Sex.

3x a week sounds amazing.

It's like 1.5x a week on average here.