Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I AM ambitious. That's the problem. So when I fail and fail again, and people pat me on the head and say that's ok...I have to wonder why.

We're not talking about work, by the way, so aimless and shiftless isn't accurate at all.

What do you want people to say when you fail again and again? Most people would respond "hey it's ok". Because it is. One of my best friends has failed at a new career several times. And you know what? It IS ok. I don't think any less of her. I don't think I'm better than her. It's ok because it's really ok.

Of course it's not ok. When did failing and mediocrity become ok?

Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

They say it’s okay because you can try again...and again...and again...

Have you ever watched Winnie the Pooh, OP? You’re Eeyore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I AM ambitious. That's the problem. So when I fail and fail again, and people pat me on the head and say that's ok...I have to wonder why.

We're not talking about work, by the way, so aimless and shiftless isn't accurate at all.

What do you want people to say when you fail again and again? Most people would respond "hey it's ok". Because it is. One of my best friends has failed at a new career several times. And you know what? It IS ok. I don't think any less of her. I don't think I'm better than her. It's ok because it's really ok.

Of course it's not ok. When did failing and mediocrity become ok?

Because I dont judge people on their failings and what they succeed in. My friend is an awesome person. She's happily married. She struggles with school and can't get past her LPN. It sucks and I feel bad for her because she would love to be an RN. But her failings in becoming an RN in no way, shape, or form devalue her as a person. Just like my friend who is late 30s and unmarried because he's struggled with relationships. I DO NOT care. Those are not things that matter to me.

You seem to have a lot of issues, but they are yours alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I AM ambitious. That's the problem. So when I fail and fail again, and people pat me on the head and say that's ok...I have to wonder why.

We're not talking about work, by the way, so aimless and shiftless isn't accurate at all.

What do you want people to say when you fail again and again? Most people would respond "hey it's ok". Because it is. One of my best friends has failed at a new career several times. And you know what? It IS ok. I don't think any less of her. I don't think I'm better than her. It's ok because it's really ok.

Of course it's not ok. When did failing and mediocrity become ok?

omg, OP. You have issues!

They are not holding you to a lower standard. Yes, maybe they don't like to hear you whining. But I don't look at my friends and evaluate them based on what career they have. I look at what kind of person they are, and how socially responsible they are. I get upset about friends who could care less about their impact on the environment. But not people who aren't at a particular place on the career ladder!

Obviously, you are not appreciating your friends for who they are, but just seeing them for what they have achieved. You are doing them a favor by pulling back. Find yourself some friends who tell you your a loser. Will that make you happy?

Anonymous wrote:I AM ambitious. That's the problem. So when I fail and fail again, and people pat me on the head and say that's ok...I have to wonder why.

We're not talking about work, by the way, so aimless and shiftless isn't accurate at all.

What do you want people to say when you fail again and again? Most people would respond "hey it's ok". Because it is. One of my best friends has failed at a new career several times. And you know what? It IS ok. I don't think any less of her. I don't think I'm better than her. It's ok because it's really ok.

Anonymous wrote:I AM ambitious. That's the problem. So when I fail and fail again, and people pat me on the head and say that's ok...I have to wonder why.

We're not talking about work, by the way, so aimless and shiftless isn't accurate at all.

Can you share specifics? You sound like DW.

I AM ambitious. That's the problem. So when I fail and fail again, and people pat me on the head and say that's ok...I have to wonder why.

We're not talking about work, by the way, so aimless and shiftless isn't accurate at all.

It not our job to hold you to a standard, that's why. In life you are only responsible for yourself.

You sound immature, insecure, unambitious, and a bit jealous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG you need help. You are looking for someone to blame.

No. I'm not. I'm just wondering why people hold me to lower standards than they hold themselves. Do I come off as uneducated? Not as smart? What?

You sound whiny and annoying and aimless and bless your heart you can't help it.

There. Is that what you wanted? Seriously, you need to work on your head a little bit. This is not healthy.

Anonymous wrote:OMG you need help. You are looking for someone to blame.

No. I'm not. I'm just wondering why people hold me to lower standards than they hold themselves. Do I come off as uneducated? Not as smart? What?

OMG you need help. You are looking for someone to blame.

Anonymous wrote:They are being honest. You can't handle that they honestly do not care if you climb the career ladder or not.

That's easy for them to disregard when they are more successful. It's almost as if they are saying, "You'll never hack it like I have."

They are being honest. You can't handle that they honestly do not care if you climb the career ladder or not.

Your friends are saying that because frankly, what else can they say?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a complete failure. I have a masters degree, albeit from a state school. But I'm not amazing at anything. When I get down about that, friends and acquaintances say I'm just being hard o myself - that my standards are too high. The thing is, I see them and others accomplish what I'd love to accomplish, so it seems like they're saying I should should be satisfied with what I've done, even though it's not much.

Why are they holding me to lower standards? This really bothers me.

I think you're reading into this too much. "You are too hard on yourself" is just, like, a thing people say. They're just trying to say something nice and you're taking it personally.

It's not really up to your friends to hold you to any sort of professional standard, that's kind of a weird expectation to have.

I'd rather they be honest, not nice.

Nobody cares as much as you do. I honestly don't give a shlt about my friends' professional ambitions, other than being happy for them when they are happy, and commiserating when they are sad. I don't care if my friends make partner if they don't.

I can't emphasize enough to you how unhealthy your thinking is.