Anyone just put their kid into one of those $40-60k private schools that are simply more engaging? Or one that is more engaging + for mild/severe ADHD?

10:51 here. Yeah, it's me that's doing this, not DH - he's got his own ADHD issues going on (fruit doesn't fall far from the tree). DH is fabulous when it comes to coaching sports and the like but when it comes to the mundane stuff like homework, this is a major area of weakness. DH struggles to attend to DS' homework 'regime' and when he does remember the 'regime', he becomes too short tempered. DS then reacts to DH's dysregulation and it all goes to hell. None of the fighting is out of bounds but it is SO unproductive and does nothing to strengthen the relationship. In that way, DS is being a typical teenager and DH isn't aware of how he is feeding into the bad dynamic. I'm much better able to self-regulate even when I want to strangle DS. At least DH will stand down when I tell him to. I hate this role but I know what will happen if I don't.

The irony of all this? DS's teachers (at our IEP meetings) all state that DS is one of the more mature, self-aware kids they've got and certainly more so than his friends.

Its also good to remember that teens who do not have special needs also lie a lot at this age. Lying to parents is a developmental stage. I am not saying special needs kids do not need more careful monitoring. I am just saying its good to keep the context in mind.

OP here again -- For those living with providing this level of academic support, is it mostly Mom doing it or is Dad doing it too? I guess that is heteronormative so maybe I should ask if you divide this up? I am finding that it is hurting my dh's relationship with my ds to be too involved in the day to day on this and thinking less stressful if I do it on my own. That way it let's one parent have less of relationship based on this kind of granular details which I think can be disputing to some. I don't think there is a right answer but wondering if others have dealt with this, I am a FT WOHM with very full career and two other kids so I have been including dh in this aspect but realizing I need to stop.