Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been with my husband for 27 years, since I was 21 years old and we met in law school. I am a practicing Catholic, and was raised attending religious schools. In almost three decades together, I can count only two times that I met another man with whom I felt a sudden, meaningful, and electric connection or spark. There was also a third man, whom my husband and I knew from beforehand, who one day attempted to strike up an email flirtation.

In all three cases, recognizing the risk of nothing suddenly conflagrating into an overwhelming something, I set a personal, strict, limit, cease, and/or desist contact order upon myself. That meant stopping email responses, working for someone else, or declining invitations to coffee or lunch, until these men understood where I stood. And they all eventually did. I cannot, and could not, betray my husband with even the hint of an emotional attachment to another man, and so I set my limits and honored them. Perhaps it is my Catholic upbringing: do not covet thy neighbor's spouse, treat others as you would want to be treated, love one another, let no man tear asunder, til death do us part, and a sense of duty to husband and family.

My husband claims that he never cheated on me until this past January when he met another woman at a conference and felt an instantaneous and deep connection. He tells me that when she briefly hesitated to pursue that feeling over the conference weekend, he convinced her that they really owed it to themselves to explore such deep feelings and see where it would lead. And so they did, and have, and continue to do.

In short, I have no idea - really - what makes some people give in and surrender in such pivotal moments, while others hold steadfast and resist the temptation. But the hurt and pain to those affected and left behind in the wake is unbearable.

I am so sorry. People really just suck.

And in this bolded part is your reason - narcissism - your DH's needs come before any thought of anyone else. Look back at your relationship and I am sure you will see, in retrospect, the same narcissism at work in other ways.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been with my husband for 27 years, since I was 21 years old and we met in law school. I am a practicing Catholic, and was raised attending religious schools. In almost three decades together, I can count only two times that I met another man with whom I felt a sudden, meaningful, and electric connection or spark. There was also a third man, whom my husband and I knew from beforehand, who one day attempted to strike up an email flirtation.

In all three cases, recognizing the risk of nothing suddenly conflagrating into an overwhelming something, I set a personal, strict, limit, cease, and/or desist contact order upon myself. That meant stopping email responses, working for someone else, or declining invitations to coffee or lunch, until these men understood where I stood. And they all eventually did. I cannot, and could not, betray my husband with even the hint of an emotional attachment to another man, and so I set my limits and honored them. Perhaps it is my Catholic upbringing: do not covet thy neighbor's spouse, treat others as you would want to be treated, love one another, let no man tear asunder, til death do us part, and a sense of duty to husband and family.

My husband claims that he never cheated on me until this past January when he met another woman at a conference and felt an instantaneous and deep connection. He tells me that when she briefly hesitated to pursue that feeling over the conference weekend, he convinced her that they really owed it to themselves to explore such deep feelings and see where it would lead. And so they did, and have, and continue to do.

In short, I have no idea - really - what makes some people give in and surrender in such pivotal moments, while others hold steadfast and resist the temptation. But the hurt and pain to those affected and left behind in the wake is unbearable.

I am so sorry. People really just suck.

Anonymous wrote:Because I respect myself.

Anonymous wrote:Because the last thing I need in my life is another person who wants something from me.

Anonymous wrote:Because it would take a good marriage and bring it to a very low place from which it would probably would never recover. Also, why would I want to risk getting an STD and passing it on to someone. And please, spare me the "everyone has herpes, no big deal" line.

Anonymous wrote:For me it’s purely that I don’t want to disrespect my girlfriend. Nothing else. Not that I love her so much that I don’t want to be with someone else. I just don’t want to give someone else the power over her. This makes me unselfish and therefore unlikely to ever cheat.

Anonymous wrote:I am physically and emotionally satisfied by my marriage (15 years). I respect the time and effort we have put into our relationship, and I continue to spend free time fostering it. I have no time or desire to look for anything else.