What? So if your spouse meets with people and tells you about the meeting but conveniently fails to tell you a certain someone is there, you wouldn't be upset

I would wonder why he onitted it. If out if the blue I might wonder but if I'm the kind of person to grill him in everything and be suspicious of all interaction he had, then I'd probably realize I was the reason for the omission and work to correct that. Either way, there is a problem.

Fyi, I dated an increasingly suspicious controlling person once, who grilled me on all interactions. He was convy I would leave him, I guess.and I did, because his behavior was terribly unhealthy and walking on eggshells scared your partner is going to start questioning you (and worse, not believing you) was making me lose all sense of reality. It was an enormous relief once I ended it. Current DH is not jealous, and would rib me if I told him I had a flirty encounter. He trusts me and vice versa.

You sounds emotionally abusive and controlling.

Many abusive victims omit details in an effort to avoid further abuse. They live a life of walking on eggshells and of trying to not upset their abuser.

You are nuts. Of course he onitted it, you're so crazy controlling and suspicious that anyone would. Unless he previously had an affair with this person? Otherwise you are the one who is messed up.

But . . . He married her. This isn't new.