HYPS were all great places to get an excellent education and still have a good time. If that’s changed, it’s not hard to figure out why.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how much I would trust Instagram/Facebook posts. Easy to selectively portray your life as you want others to see it.

Exactly. Look at the social media threads of the Penn track start were filled with happy posts before she jumped off a parking garage.

Honestly, people judging social media accounts are clueless. Who posts crying about finals or how stressed they are on their IG ? Posting a pic here and there of good times doesn’t equal a quality balanced life.

You beat me to this post, sadly. But too true. A journalist who wrote a book about that girl actually compared her social media posts with what had been going on in her life at the time and saw a big disconnect.

Princeton is a good time for most. People obviously take academics seriously, but most people also recognize you don't have to be at the top of your class to succeed, which takes some of the pressure off.

Anonymous wrote:My niece is at Penn and her social media is BRIMMING with photos of her at parties and going out.

And no alcohol poisoning of anyone?

We thought the midwestern schools seemed more relaxed. I think if you're willing to leave the coasts, there are some great options. Not as prestigious or well known but that was part of what we liked.

Anonymous wrote:Two of my kids went to Stanford and Berkeley and both had a lot of fun.

Not at the level of HYP or Stanford or Berkeley, but I have been an alumnae advisor for a student group at Washington University and those students seem like they are having a good time.

This is a pretty good list - “work hard play hard schools”
http://www.businessinsider.com/most-intense-colleges-in-america-2016-4
- someone who went to one that’s in the top 5, and had friends at many of the others

Syracuse is a hard school and still won best party school recently.

I remember my high-achieving DD coming to me during her senior year of high school and telling me that she didn't want another four years of constant stress and competition. She was drained from it all and just wanted to enjoy her college experience and flourish both academically and socially in a balanced and healthy manner. It both broke my heart and made me really proud of her. She ended up eliminating several colleges among her options because of the toxicity and unhealthy competition she heard they bred. It may have been precarious to do so based solely off talking to students to hear their experience and reading online, but it was what she needed. She's at the perfect school for her now. She is academically challenged and growing, but she doesn't have to pull all-nighters or forget to eat meals just to feel like she's doing okay.

I'm a pretty firm believer that any place where a group of 18-23 year olds with limited (at least, compared to the "real wold") will have a party/social scene. But its that ineffable environment at every college that speaks far more for the balance and healthy living it does or doesn't support.

I was at Yale and thought it was a cake walk academically and just an awesome four years socially. I think pre-med kids and STEM grinders probably had a different impression, but that’s everywhere.

I found it very relaxed, full of cool and interesting people with weird backgrounds, close enough to get a taste of NYC life for those who didn’t grow up there. Only thing missing was power conference big time college sports atmosphere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My niece is at Penn and her social media is BRIMMING with photos of her at parties and going out.

Because Penn lets in a lot of Z list rich kids whose parents make a six figure donation the summer before applying and are full pay.

by Z list, I don't mean gap year, I mean kids who'd be at Tulane, GW, USC or NYU if it weren't for daddy's $.

Anonymous wrote:My niece is at Penn and her social media is BRIMMING with photos of her at parties and going out.

Because Penn lets in a lot of Z list rich kids whose parents make a six figure donation the summer before applying and are full pay.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how much I would trust Instagram/Facebook posts. Easy to selectively portray your life as you want others to see it.

Exactly. Look at the social media threads of the Penn track start were filled with happy posts before she jumped off a parking garage.

Honestly, people judging social media accounts are clueless. Who posts crying about finals or how stressed they are on their IG ? Posting a pic here and there of good times doesn’t equal a quality balanced life.

Anonymous wrote:I think this is child specific. The kids who are getting into these places work all the time toward college and don't give themselves a lot of downtime. It doesn't turn off when they hit college. Kids who have more fun in high school are going to have more fun in college.

Completely not true

Yeah, it's "absurd" that young people are under too much stress. I hope you are enjoying the view from keeping your head buried in the sand.

If you think they are learning healthy balance, check this out:

https://www.neumann.edu/life/counseling/mental_health/suicide/national_data.htm