Anonymous wrote:How long have you been married? Do you have kids and do you think that adds or detracts from your happiness as a married couple?

Do you think it's mostly luck that you're happy together or effort or both?

24 years
2 children- added
Compatibility and mutual respect are the main ingredients.

1. We've been married 12 years, together for 13. We are best friends, we are a team, and we genuinely enjoy one another's company, as well as understand and value our differences.

2. We have two children and I think it adds to it. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's hard. Raising little humans is hard and we have a toddler and an ES child so it's nonstop around our house. The few moments we steal for ourselves make the times together even better.

3. It's luck we found each other. We're happy because we try hard. We talk, we compromise, we have made a conscious decision to be one another's consciences and to be a team in child rearing. We do our best not to keep score or to let resentment build, unlike our parents. Marriage is hard work, but we take care of each other because we are a family. And he and I choose to be a family every day.

I’ve been married for 12 years and have 2 kids in ES. We met and within a month moved in together and got engaged - we married about 6 months after we met. We had an instant connection and we are still really happy a dozen years later. We laugh a lot and have fun with the kids and each other. The kids haven’t had a negative effect on our relationship because we have very similar parenting styles. Also I was pregnant by our first anniversary so we got less than 2 years together before kids came into the equation and I was pregnant for almost half of that time. My friends can see that we are happy but I almost feel bad about it and really don’t go out of my way to spell it out for people because most of my friends seem to have more complicated relationships.

Married almost 9, together almost 14. 1 kid which added to our happiness as a couple (not that there weren't hard days of sleep deprivation, etc. but we mostly had an 'in it together' attitude about it). I think our compatibility it's a combination of luck and effort.

Married 6 years (together 8). 2 kids (4.5 and 2.5). We are happy, fight regularly (discussions more than real fights), great sex, almost always tired, but considering a third kid. Kids have brought joy and meaning to our lives, but day to day life right now is more challenging than it was pre kids (obviously). Effort, luck and intelligence in choosing the the person

approaching 12 years this year. three kids.

i tell everyone i dont know how it all ends up. i met someone who i didnt hold back on what i expect and vice versa. some folks on here "settle" and if she leaves me tomorrow, i know thats not what i did regardless of how "bad" it ends. i mean that. doubters will say otherwise. whatever.

We have been together for 20 years come December. We have been married for 16 years. We are very happy and work hard to keep our marriage strong and good. Part of what makes our marriage strong is that we were older. I was a bachelor into my 30s and my wife came out of a long marriage to her high school sweetheart in her 30s. She had experience on what made her first marriage disintegrate. I had waited for a good partner and didn't want to mess things up. This leads both of us to work hard to make the marriage work. We both prioritize each other in what we think and do. It was dumb luck that we met. But our happiness is due to the effort we both put in to make the other happy.

Due to health issues, we had children late, in our 40s. Having children definitely strains the marriage. Kids eat up a lot of time and money. We were comfortable financially before kids and we have the options to throw money at problems, but having kids means that we do have to make some financial choices that we didn't have to before kids, but at least we have those options. Many of our "peers" who have kids the same time, are 10-15 years younger and don't have the financial options that we have when faced with the same problems.

We are in a good place now. We had our ups and downs especially when the kids were little and my spouse checked out of the sex and intimacy part. I cheated, yes I know a CPOS, but never discovered.

I think most marriages have their ups and downs. We are back in an upswing. Never judge happiness on appearance, the obnoxious facebook posters are usually compensating for something.

It's a combination of luck and effort. You can put in all the effort but if your partner is unwilling to compromise only so much you can do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been married? Do you have kids and do you think that adds or detracts from your happiness as a married couple?

Do you think it's mostly luck that you're happy together or effort or both?

18 years, no kids. We’re best friends and a good match, personality-wise. We mostly value the same things, have a similar sense of humor and are equal in terms of intellect.

I could've written this post, except I have no physical attraction to DH and a terrible sex life. Do you mesh well on that level too?

5 years, two kids under two. I know we're a young marriage but we're really happy. We went through some terrible things (as individuals) prior to marriage so it feels like we've been around the block.

Kids strain our patience but bring a lot of light and love to our home and lives.

80/20 effort/luck. We're lucky to have found each other, but it takes effort to stay happy.

35 years and very happy. Great kids and now grandkids who have all brought real joy to our lives. We are now retirees and empty nesters and really enjoying life. We often say to each other how lucky we are.

Anonymous wrote:29 years, 3 adult kids

100% luck for me (DH), I am sure 100 effort for my DW.

This is cute. I feel like my dad would respond the same way about my mom.

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been married? Do you have kids and do you think that adds or detracts from your happiness as a married couple?

Do you think it's mostly luck that you're happy together or effort or both?

18 years, no kids. We’re best friends and a good match, personality-wise. We mostly value the same things, have a similar sense of humor and are equal in terms of intellect.

29 years, 3 adult kids

100% luck for me (DH), I am sure 100 effort for my DW.

Married for 12 years, two kids. When they were little, things were hard, now that they are in elementary school, things are much better again. We probably did need the kids (a family) to stick together, we might have drifted apart otherwise.

I think I was lucky to randomly meet my DH, because we are a good fit, but we do also make some effort, most importantly to treat each other with kindness and give each other benefit of the doubt. I'm not 100 percent successful, but I do my best not to take out my frustrations on him, and he does the same. I also don't over-rely on him for all of my emotional needs, which I think really helps. And he is one of those rare guys who is good at chores, though dealing with clutter is not his strong suit, unfortunately (that's my daily struggle).