Anonymous
04/18/2018 09:05
Subject: drama free mama
Anonymous wrote:What advice could you give to me as a sahm who doesn't want to be friends with all the other moms and socialize in that way. How do I talk to them or not talk to them to just avoid the drama. I don't have the energy for any negative drama. TIA.
Um. Don't socialize with them?
Anonymous
04/18/2018 08:54
Subject: Re:drama free mama
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you don't want to be friends with them, then just don't talk to them. Right now you're just creating, wait for it, negative drama.
+1
+2 the only one being dramatic here is you.
And if you don't want to be close with them, don't. Not like they're going to be knocking down your door begging you to come hang out with them. Decline any invitations, be polite but reserved, and the invitations will stop. No way you're THAT socially clueless that you can't understand a simple concept like this, "mama".
Anonymous
04/18/2018 08:51
Subject: Re:drama free mama
Do you know there is drama or are you just assuming?
Anonymous
04/18/2018 08:42
Subject: Re:drama free mama
It's very easy to ignore drama. Just be polite and don't engage. I have never had anyone come up to me and try to involve me in their drama. I'm well-known at my children's school, and well-respected, partly because I am friendly but do not engage in gossip, drama, or in anything else that might cause a rift. Life is easy to drift through without being drawn into the middle of everything if you know how to play the game.
Anonymous
04/18/2018 07:31
Subject: drama free mama
Wow, you are all being unnecessarily harsh to OP. I understood what she was saying. I live in a neighborhood where most of the moms are lovely, but there are always a few bad apples in the bunch. I'm an introvert anyway, so I just naturally prefer being on my own. I don't want to alienate the nice moms, but I also don't want to get involved with the ones who always seem to be in the mix and are eager to cause drama.
Anonymous
04/18/2018 05:41
Subject: drama free mama
In my life experience (and I'm 50), women who go around announcing "I just don't want any drama!" are usually the ones instigating the most drama.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 14:49
Subject: drama free mama
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What advice could you give to me as a sahm who doesn't want to be friends with all the other moms and socialize in that way. How do I talk to them or not talk to them to just avoid the drama. I don't have the energy for any negative drama. TIA.
How to not be friends with people? Just don't be friends with them. Right? What am I missing?
+1. I find people who go out of their way to talk about how drama-free they are, are really actually not (at least subconsciously). Otherwise, why are you so preoccupied with it?
This. I find that the people who are asocial because they “hate drama” are the ones who create drama by interpreting benign social interactions as ill-willed. I think usually they just have poor social skills.
I like socializing and on the rare occasion there is drama, I just ignore it.
this. I also suspect OP is one of those women who typically "I never have woman friends, too much drama. I also had male best friends growing up"--there is a reason women don' t like you. they sense your issues a mile away.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 14:45
Subject: Re:drama free mama
Anonymous wrote:Didn't you make this thread last week?
+100
And you always post your other SAHM/motherhood threads in Off Topic. There's GP for that.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 14:43
Subject: drama free mama
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What advice could you give to me as a sahm who doesn't want to be friends with all the other moms and socialize in that way. How do I talk to them or not talk to them to just avoid the drama. I don't have the energy for any negative drama. TIA.
How to not be friends with people? Just don't be friends with them. Right? What am I missing?
+1. I find people who go out of their way to talk about how drama-free they are, are really actually not (at least subconsciously). Otherwise, why are you so preoccupied with it?
Same experience here. And "negative drama" usually just means that no one is ever supposed to call them on their crap, or make any demands of them, or express negative feelings, or disagree. Sometimes having friends means dealing with "drama." If a particular person is always spoiling for a fight or looking for offense, then I'm just not friends with that person.
If you don't want to socialize with the other moms in your neighborhood, then just don't socialize with them. Be polite, but never accept invitations or invite them to do anything with you.
+2! "I just don't want any drama tonight"--Every Real Housewife of Anywhere, Ever, the night of the big party where some bitches are going DOWN
Anonymous
04/17/2018 14:41
Subject: drama free mama
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What advice could you give to me as a sahm who doesn't want to be friends with all the other moms and socialize in that way. How do I talk to them or not talk to them to just avoid the drama. I don't have the energy for any negative drama. TIA.
How to not be friends with people? Just don't be friends with them. Right? What am I missing?
+1. I find people who go out of their way to talk about how drama-free they are, are really actually not (at least subconsciously). Otherwise, why are you so preoccupied with it?
Same experience here. And "negative drama" usually just means that no one is ever supposed to call them on their crap, or make any demands of them, or express negative feelings, or disagree. Sometimes having friends means dealing with "drama." If a particular person is always spoiling for a fight or looking for offense, then I'm just not friends with that person.
If you don't want to socialize with the other moms in your neighborhood, then just don't socialize with them. Be polite, but never accept invitations or invite them to do anything with you.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 14:09
Subject: Re:drama free mama
Didn't you make this thread last week?
Anonymous
04/17/2018 14:09
Subject: drama free mama
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What advice could you give to me as a sahm who doesn't want to be friends with all the other moms and socialize in that way. How do I talk to them or not talk to them to just avoid the drama. I don't have the energy for any negative drama. TIA.
How to not be friends with people? Just don't be friends with them. Right? What am I missing?
+1. I find people who go out of their way to talk about how drama-free they are, are really actually not (at least subconsciously). Otherwise, why are you so preoccupied with it?
This. I find that the people who are asocial because they “hate drama” are the ones who create drama by interpreting benign social interactions as ill-willed. I think usually they just have poor social skills.
I like socializing and on the rare occasion there is drama, I just ignore it.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 14:03
Subject: drama free mama
Anonymous wrote:1) Don't refer to yourself as "mama."
2) Don't refer to all social interactions and relationships as "drama."
+3, emphasis on #2
OP, not sure what you mean by negative drama but we all need to live life and that includes being in a community. What's your situation and what's sapping your energy, as you say?
Anonymous
04/17/2018 13:58
Subject: drama free mama
Anonymous wrote:1) Don't refer to yourself as "mama."
2) Don't refer to all social interactions and relationships as "drama."
THANK YOU.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 13:48
Subject: drama free mama
Anonymous wrote:1) Don't refer to yourself as "mama."
2) Don't refer to all social interactions and relationships as "drama."
This.
Something tells me OP really doesn't have anything to worry about - but the question really is - how do I avoid people?
Limit all interactions to a bare mandatory minimum. Problem solved.