Anonymous wrote:I have a difficult mil, and I basically let dh handle her. He takes the kids to see her on his own. It works for us.

This would work for me, if I could trust my husband not to share our personal business with her. That's what caused the blow up over a year ago. We had an argument, he ran to mama, she later threw it in my face. I blame him for the whole thing, & and don't trust that it wouldn't happen again, once she wiggles her way back in his life.

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. My relationship with her is irrelevant. I don’t want or need it. I’m just concerned about the influence my MIL has had over my husband most of his life. She’s toxic.

You’ll never change it. You just need to be on the same page. Keep your kids safe from the abusive cycle. Limit visits.

OP here. My relationship with her is irrelevant. I don’t want or need it. I’m just concerned about the influence my MIL has had over my husband most of his life. She’s toxic.