Anonymous wrote:I don't think we should have marital laws run state by state.

I think every single person getting married should have a written agreement that they sign.

Why should a whole state of people agree on how they want to handle family finances, it's inane. It's the only situation where we enter a contract we have no control over and never read.

Marital laws are ridiculous.

I do completely agree with this. We married in one state, moved to another, and are divorcing there. The trust laws are very different here and could entitle him to money not covered by clauses in the prenup.

I don't think we should have marital laws run state by state.

I think every single person getting married should have a written agreement that they sign.

Why should a whole state of people agree on how they want to handle family finances, it's inane. It's the only situation where we enter a contract we have no control over and never read.

Marital laws are ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

I always told my in laws they shouldn’t give gifts to DH with conditions. Don’t give DH a share of your company if you are going to insist he have his wife sign a prenup. I did tell my in laws he can sign everything back to them. I don’t care about the money but they will NOT dictate what happens in my marriage.
Don’t give your kids money you are afraid of losing in the event of a divorce.

How generous of you giving up someone else's money that's not yours! You had him p**sywhipped even before marriage. What if they had acted on your advice, cut him out of the will and then you divorced him after 5 or 10 years? He'd be up sh*tcreek without a paddle! He must be an idiot. He's also lucky that things worked out. Don't confuse luck and good judgment.

I'm sure you are a great person with no ill intentions (untested given you are still married). However, your life experience cannot be general marriage advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about a prenup if you enter the marriage with only less than 150k or 200k in assets?

You’re a moron to be adversarial with your significant other over so little? You’re really really stupid?

This was my case and I wasn't adversarial

We did sign some little thing but never went to a lawyer

It may "only" be 200K now, but if the marriage lasts 15 years the appreciation is worth considering. I wish I had better protected my own assets, not just my parents.

Anonymous wrote:I thought that as long as you don't co-mingle inheritance money with a joint bank account or something it isn't considered as joint assets?

In my case, I'm the beneficiary of a trust. Comingled or not, in my state, the spouse is entitled to the accumulated interest over the duration of marriage to the trust. The increase in value. Im probably not wording that correctly, but had we not had a prenup, the high earning spouse that I am now divorcing would be entitled to money that I don't even have yet. Sickening. Protect yourselves, people!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

I always told my in laws they shouldn’t give gifts to DH with conditions. Don’t give DH a share of your company if you are going to insist he have his wife sign a prenup. I did tell my in laws he can sign everything back to them. I don’t care about the money but they will NOT dictate what happens in my marriage.
Don’t give your kids money you are afraid of losing in the event of a divorce.

50% of marriages fail
Why is it given that any family money is immediately ‘yours’.

Anonymous wrote:Responding again...I don't think I was unreasonable to mention that I'd like to have something in writing saying that if things don't work, I'd like to at least protect my savings that I brought into the marriage

And yes .. outside of the DCUM bubble of rich people, that's a lot of money

I live in Toronto and that’s not a lot of money. Good god, my nephew lives in his parents basement at a dead end job and has 100k saved up and he isn’t even 30.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

I always told my in laws they shouldn’t give gifts to DH with conditions. Don’t give DH a share of your company if you are going to insist he have his wife sign a prenup. I did tell my in laws he can sign everything back to them. I don’t care about the money but they will NOT dictate what happens in my marriage.
Don’t give your kids money you are afraid of losing in the event of a divorce.

If you are having these conversations after 10 years of marriage, and they still don't trust you, something is seriously wrong. They should now that you are a decent person at this point.

A lot of assumptions....
All the conversations happened before the marriage. We have been happily married for 20 years. They know I am a decent person and I’m sure they regret that they screwed up the relationships.
We see them three times a year and they live an hour away.
They hoped I will sign a prenup, they knew I wouldn’t like the idea but they assumed I would be over it in a few months. When they were harassing me to sign, I knew from that point on they were dead to me.

Responding again...I don't think I was unreasonable to mention that I'd like to have something in writing saying that if things don't work, I'd like to at least protect my savings that I brought into the marriage

And yes .. outside of the DCUM bubble of rich people, that's a lot of money

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about a prenup if you enter the marriage with only less than 150k or 200k in assets?

You’re a moron to be adversarial with your significant other over so little? You’re really really stupid?

This was my case and I wasn't adversarial

We did sign some little thing but never went to a lawyer

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

I always told my in laws they shouldn’t give gifts to DH with conditions. Don’t give DH a share of your company if you are going to insist he have his wife sign a prenup. I did tell my in laws he can sign everything back to them. I don’t care about the money but they will NOT dictate what happens in my marriage.
Don’t give your kids money you are afraid of losing in the event of a divorce.

If you are having these conversations after 10 years of marriage, and they still don't trust you, something is seriously wrong. They should now that you are a decent person at this point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

I always told my in laws they shouldn’t give gifts to DH with conditions. Don’t give DH a share of your company if you are going to insist he have his wife sign a prenup. I did tell my in laws he can sign everything back to them. I don’t care about the money but they will NOT dictate what happens in my marriage.
Don’t give your kids money you are afraid of losing in the event of a divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about a prenup if you enter the marriage with only less than 150k or 200k in assets?

You’re a moron to be adversarial with your significant other over so little? You’re really really stupid?

200K isn't insignificant to most people outside of the DC bubble.

Yes. $200k is more than most people have in their retirement account. It's the difference between retiring at 65 and 75.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about a prenup if you enter the marriage with only less than 150k or 200k in assets?

You’re a moron to be adversarial with your significant other over so little? You’re really really stupid?

200K isn't insignificant to most people outside of the DC bubble.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

LOL