Anonymous wrote:I think education is the parents responsible as long as it's feasible. Saddling your offspring with debt before they are employed is a recipe for hardship the rest of their lives.

UMC privilege

My Mom has three rules on college.
1) she is not paying for it
2) she would not allow any child to take out a student loan.
3) go to any college you want as long as you follow rules 1 and 2.

Flash forward 32 years with my kids I am struggling with all the other High School kids have PHDs so they are going to top schools with spending money.

It seems today every HS senior and Kid in college has a PHD so when you make kids pay on their own or take loans they make your kids seem like a failure and the kids make sure to guilt the parents.


PHD in kid language is Poppa Has Dough. If you got a PHD no worries.

DC area is full of Poppa Have Dough kids

I think education is the parents responsible as long as it's feasible. Saddling your offspring with debt before they are employed is a recipe for hardship the rest of their lives.

We could afford college without debt because we have been saving forever for college (and have built up a lot of other assets too). However I believe a reasonable amount of student debt (in my view no more than 1/2-1x their anticipated entry level salary total) is a good thing. It prevents quick lifestyle inflation with the first salaried job and helps kids learn to manage living on less than full income. It also puts more of their "skin in the game" of college and is this soft transition to the reality that they aren't going to have their lives funded fully by their parents anymore. Having a little bit of debt--even if its only nominal--puts them psychologically in the group of students who don't get everything handed to them which is an identity I'd rather have them pick up in college/post-college rather than seeing themselves as 100% on their parents' funds. Too much debt can limit opportunities, so I think you need to be strategic here. I think I will mentally "set aside" an amount equivalent to the debt to strategically fund opportunities in the future for them so they don't hold off on investing in grad school if that makes sense.

I think when your kids grow up in an UMC environment you need to strategically and gradually let them see that in their own adult lives they will need to build their way up to that socioeconomic level (if they want to) rather than starting there as a matter of course--and that being well-educated/connected gives them more than enough of a head start. I see a small amount of student debt as one tool in building that awareness. With our HS senior son we worked through--what is the future value of his labor with his intended education (it's a huge number for kids to see!), what is the cost of the debt he will be taking on with interest in relation to that. I really think the financials of college--with its complexities around--do you do unpaid internships as an investment in your career or work at the highest paying job during the summer? Do you take on debt or go to a lower ranked school with merit aid? What happens --in both college costs and loss of labor--if you take 5 years instead of 4 years-- offer incredible opportunities for kids to help kids more concretely picture the consequences of their decisions over longer periods of time. It also makes them more sensitive--and hopefully empathetic-- to the compounding real costs that others who didn't have their advantages at the onset experience.

Assuming the calculators are right, $30-40K depending on what we can afford to do for him out of pocket while he is in school. (Teacher + fed family.)

But he's 3 so things could change. And currently an only child. If we have a 2nd, it'll be tighter.

In comparison to what DH and I had, that's pretty good.

None.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$40K. My ex husband and I were unable to save a lot of money for college. She goes to a flagship that costs about $28K year. We warned her, but it was her decision.

You warned her about what?

The debt...?

Each child will graduate with the minimum student loan allowed by FAFSA (donut hole family here). In the past it has been $5500 first year, $7500 second year, etc. So I'm guessing they will have at most $25K or so. I think this is good for the students to have loans so they realize they are invested in the process of attending college. That being said, the real daunting jump will be law school, which one child wants to attend. My own is now $98K a year.

Single parent here with a DC in college now. I anticipate she will have about $22K in loans by the end. I have nearly enough saved to pay the rest (in-state school). Depending on her salary (she's going into teaching), I may try to help her, but I have my own retirement to continue to save for.

$0. We told DS we would pay for all his costs at any public school in the country (we are DC, so get DC TAG). It was easy for him to choose from the many different public choices.

Like others on this board, we have been saving since DS was a baby.

He will be on his own for grad school.

Anonymous wrote:$40K. My ex husband and I were unable to save a lot of money for college. She goes to a flagship that costs about $28K year. We warned her, but it was her decision.

$40k debt from a flagship is pretty good as things go. It's not crippling debt.

None - both kids in state or merit aid for undergrad and we will now be able to fund grad school too. We had no loans and wanted same for our kids.

Anonymous wrote:$40K. My ex husband and I were unable to save a lot of money for college. She goes to a flagship that costs about $28K year. We warned her, but it was her decision.

You warned her about what?

$40K. My ex husband and I were unable to save a lot of money for college. She goes to a flagship that costs about $28K year. We warned her, but it was her decision.

zip.

we saved as best we could and he got a hefty chunk of change (OOS flagship priced like in-state).